Boaz the Peanut Butter Puppy

psst.  someone decided to become a star on his own =) for fun and a change of pace since my heart seems to be in a quiet, pondering season on this here blog….you can pop over here to see where I’ll be writing all things about my peanut butter puppy.  expect lots of mischief, fun, laughter, and life.

wordless wednesday

oh hey puppy you were little!

why yes you even fit on the shelf

you’re so funny, boaz!

he makes me smile

oh my word. he’s adorable.

When the moment comes, what will you do?  How will the situation play out?

Our knee jerk reactions to circumstances fascinate me.  I love watching the instantaneous, adrenaline rush actions that propel us to respond in a certain way.  I found myself there today and thought afterward of how this correlated with a post on (in)courage.  A post that challenged everyone to truly believe that we ourselves are wonderful creations…dearly loved…it’s much easier to believe it for others.  I can talk, pray, encourage, and believe all day long for someone else, but when it comes to me…I stop in my tracks.  Yet, I captured a defining moment today.  A moment happened that reminded me just how much God loves to keep us safe.

In case you didn’t know, I’m sort of in love in a big way.  His name is Boaz.  He wakes me up with kisses and greets me at the door every single time.  In fact, he barricades the door anytime I need to leave without him.  He sleeps on my head or curls up next to my feet.  He likes to be touching me all.the.time.  He makes me laugh every single day.  Plus, he goes running with me.  Oh, and he dances when I make him =)

So, yesterday, we went for a bit of a run.  He’s trotting along next to me and enjoying himself and we’re deciding where to go.  I decide to make an unusual turn in attempt to head toward a stoplight to make crossing easier.  From across the street, I see a huge boxer/pit bull something crazy big white spotted dog come barreling toward us.  Next thing I know the dog is literally on top of Boaz!  The dog moves a bit and I instantly swoop Boaz up into my arms.  Now we’re standing on the sidewalk and I’m trying to hold Boaz up high while the other dog circles us.  The dog jumps a bit to try to get Boaz and I’m like uh no way.

Now, though, I’ve decided that with the owners not in sight I have no idea what to do other than stand there holding my dog. A guy on a bicycle goes on by and I say a faint questioning “Help!?” and he stares and keeps biking… I’m like wait what? You’re going to leave the poor girl and her puppy for dog bait!?  He kind of stops across the road when finally, after more doggy dancing, the owner comes yelling down the street clearly beyond mad at the dog.  A lame attempt to yell the sit command and a chase to get the dog to come creates an exit getaway for us.  So, we leave.  Another one of the dog’s owners pitifully yells out to ask if my dog is okay and I shrug and say Yeah…more concerned at this point of getting away from the crazy dog off leash!

And so I carry Boaz for a good block or so before setting him down again when I’ve determined the dog is hopefully out of our sight. Then we go on our way to finish our run and make sure to not come back the same way!

Yet, when I got to thinking at the end of all the craziness, all I could do was a. praise God for keeping us both safe from the dog. b. think oh man I so need to keep up this training thing because I want a well-trained dog. c. think how intriguing that when it came down to it I knew that I was the one charged with keeping Boaz safe and that was that.

I kept thinking of how the dog trainer informed the class that dog’s are less stressed when they’re not the leader of the pack.  When they’re not in authority, they can relax.  They’re safe.  They know who has their back.  They know who is taking care of them.  They know the person who is the giver of all good and perfect gifts including that amazing, delicious peanut butter.

Now…if only I fully grasped that God’s not holding out on the peanut butter–He’s the giver of all good things and He’s the one sweeping me up off the ground away from all sorts of dangers that I don’t even know about…just so I can make it home so I can actually eat some delicious, oh so tasty peanut butter.

All ridiculous parallels and stories aside and long stories gone by and now you may go along your day remembering that the God of the universe who truly made you wonderfully has a GOOD plan….now that makes for a happy monday!

brave

5 minutes to write! Ready set go!

I’ve come to be one of those people who equates brave with “doing it afraid” or “doing it scared.”  You shut your eyes tight and jump anyway.  Sometimes the landing is pretty and graceful while other times the landing is clumsy and awkward.  Your feet fling in the air mid jump and your eye go wide, but you’re still going.  The thrill comes after the “yes.”  After the jump has been made, then you celebrate.  You’re stepping out and trusting even while you’re head is on overdrive.  I find, for me, the peace and the rest come with the decision, the plan, the mid jump…beforehand, I’m too busy analyzing, contemplating, pondering.  Good things to do, but eventually you just have to be brave and say okay here goes nothing…God can work with my decision and goodness knows I’m trying to follow hard after Him.

End

psst. i love how this prompt so relates to my “jump” with my upcoming sri lanka mission trip. eep! there’s lots of “do it afraid” opportunities hidden in that opportunity. =)

Sri Lanka!?

Hi friends!

I’ve been quiet on here…pondering things away in my heart like Mary did.  But, I wanted to let you in on this door that God swung open and kept pulling on my heart about.  So, I bit my tongue and said, “Yes.” Wide eyed and doing it afraid, I jumped.  To say I’m still gun shy and working through all that’s related to missions is accurate, but there’s beauty in the ashes.  As you’ll read below, my heart still beats Africa, but God’s ways are not my ways.  I keep wrestling toward this truth and tension.  He is good. His plan is GOOD.  I’m hedging my bets on that. I’m all in.  Stumbling clumsily into His arms of grace and letting go of my plans to follow His.  So without further ado, check out the exciting news below for my upcoming mission trip with my awesome church to Sri Lanka in April.  Did I mention that I’m going in April!?

I’d love for you to partner with me and invest in this opportunity that God has set before me.  Prayers!? Yes, please!  Specific prayer points are included below!  You can also invest in me and in the people I’ll impact through donations.  The deadline for raising funds is April 2nd–just around the corner!  I would so appreciate any amount that you give to help raise the $2000 needed for the trip.  To give directly to me, you can hit the cute little button to donate through PayPal to my e-mail or you can e-mail me at kigkat@gmail.com for more information on a tax deductible donation or read the letter below for the full story!

I’m so looking forward to sharing on this blog about all that God does leading up to and following this trip!

Here goes….

Download PDF: Sri Lanka Missions Trip

(*PayPal donations are not tax deductible–for information on giving a tax deductible donation please e-mail me at kigkat@gmail.com or see the letter below!)

5 Minute Friday-Trust

Playing along this week with writing for 5 minutes….

Trust

I can’t seem to get away from you. You followed me around 2011 and boy did you pack a punch.  You’re ruthless and you’re hard.  You’re a constant choice.  You’re a sweet surrender. You’re the calm waters at the end of the day.  You’re the rough and tumble wrestling match.  I trust when I’m afraid. I trust when I’m walking on the water. I trust when nothing is happening. I trust when I can’t see. I trust all the time and don’t even know it.  I consciously must to choose to discern safe and unsafe.  To recognize truth from lies. Trustworthy from untrustworthy.  Levels of trust.  Yet choosing to love even even when there isn’t trust because everyone is trustworthy. Unfortunately. I wish they were. Not everyone gets to come past the fence and into the house to sit down for a cup of tea. Those who do–they’re precious beyond belief.  Yet, even those people aren’t perfect. No one is. So get up, fall forward, and keep on discerning and learning to trust all the while leaning into trusting God for all else fades away and we can count it as loss.

Real

5 minutes of writing your heart out without editing or need for perfection on a Friday with a fun little prompt from Lisa-Jo. 

Real

I want real. I want honest. I want truth. Yet sometimes I get in the way of me and find myself stuck in what I’ve thought is real because of what I’ve been taught, heard, what’s been spoken over me, and what’s been my experience.  There’s freedom in knowing the real parts of life.  There’s a battle to be had when you’re fighting to become who you are all the while resting in knowing that it is who you because He says it is so.  It is so.  No matter what whispers you hear and what lies sneak their way into your head…His word stands firm.  He is the author and perfecter.  He is the creator.  He knows who He made you to be.  That’s the real I want to know.  That’s the real I’m fighting and battling for because it’s worth it.

Your turn!

I am currently…

Listening …to Laura Cooksey’s new EP on repeat and Mandisa’s Good Morning song and Tiffany Thurston’s song Higher. Oh hey Women of Faith music love!

Watching … Downton Abbey when I have a bit of time, but I haven’t lately.

Reading … Oh my…so many books.  Just finished Telling Yourself the Truth by Backus and Chapian.  I will finish How to Help People Change by Adams tonight!  I’m working on the last few pages of Beyond Boundaries. Ready to dig into Grace for the Good Girl.  And I’ve got like 4-5 more books for school that are in the works.

Eating … hummus quesadillas, oatmeal with protein powder or PB2 mixed into it, and I just bought SO Delicious Almond Plus to try!

Drinking … hot chocolate, vanilla chai crema with soy milk, and water. i love water.

Wearing … my pjs! green capris and a tank top =)

Feeling … determined. scared. nervous. okay. ready. full.

Weather … is crazy warm for february! i am loving how it feels like spring!

Wanting … a ticket to africa. a personal trainer. a personal hair stylist. and a few other things =)

Needing … to stop the battle going on in my head.

Thinking … only 20 pages to go on my book! (I’ve been filling this out on my 5 minute breaks…trying out the pomodoro technique!)  And thinking about grace and about how to stop lies/misbeliefs and about counseling and how much I love my puppy and how I am ready for Friday!

Enjoying … my puppy! He’s adorable and he legit makes me smile and laugh every single day, which is definitely more of what I need in my life and is helping me live out this little one word for the year (celebrate).  Plus, he’s smart and he loves walks and loves to snuggle and is soft and wrinkly and can’t get enough of me.  Other than him, I’m enjoying….aforementioned music above! I totally am enjoying my classes–learning so much!  I’m loving my apartment! Enjoying the nice weather. Really, it’s that lovely, oh hey reframe your thinking, get your head onto all these blessings, and it’s beautiful rather than the merry go round that sometimes goes on in my head.

What about you? What are you currently up to?

found this lovely prompt via Lindsey who snagged it from Sarah.

whispers

whispers threading through the silence snag my heart.

she tugs hard with longings of hope deferred.

bellowing words shake my core.

temptation to buck the system surfaces.

the battle for truth rages.

emotions surge

drowning out the words.

quiet, my soul.

it is well.

it is well.

say not otherwise.

for it. is. well.

for when i’m the older brother

The prodigal son story gets me every time.  Plus, my little word (celebrate) for the year fits ever so nicely into it.  And well I can see myself on both sides of the story, this week er more often than not lately I find myself as the older son.  The one who keeps the list.  He strives and works hard.  He’s working for the Father. He’s got his little formula and his little list.  He’s playing by the rules. He’s strict about life and isn’t all about “fun and games.”  Nope, he’s on the straight and the narrow.  He’s got this figured out and he’s just waiting to reap the benefits.  Though, truth be told, he’s a little frustrated with the timing, I’m speculating.  A little frustrated that things don’t seem to be happening fast enough or when he wants.  He’s saying okay Father, just give me the formula, give me the list and I will literally follow it to a T and then you can give me what I think you should write into my story.

Except….the Father doesn’t really work like that.  There’s no do x and get y.  There’s a reminder that oh hey, daughter, you don’t own anything. I own everything. You steward.  Every good and perfect gift is from Me and it’s by grace.  And yet all I have is yours and I’m writing your story threading goodness and love throughout every piece.

See, stories unfold.  Stories take time and they’re all unique.  Which connects to my favorite boy Peter in my favorite boy John’s gospel.  Peter’s saying oh hey God but what about their stories.  What about what you’re doing in their lives. I don’t know if I’m down with that.  What about me? Sounds a little familiar to the older son’s questions of oh hey Father what about me, why are you giving him the fattened calf?  They’re both wondering…why the Father isn’t seeing them. Why they’re feeling forgotten.  Why their stories are being written the way they are.  And they don’t like it one bit.

There’s the potential for feeling forgotten. unloved. abandoned. unseen. unlovable.

Sounds a little like Hagar…

Sounds a little like Joseph…

Sounds a little like Naomi…

It’s the moment of the soft x when Israel responds to Joseph, ““I know, my son, I know.”

When Jesus says, “What is that to you? You follow me.”

When the angel of the Lord who came to find her says,  ”Go back to your mistress and submit to her.”

When the Father says, “My son,you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”

and when yet when you’re asking about why your story isn’t being written the way you want and when someone else seems (not all is what it seems) to be getting the very thing you’re praying for and have been praying for for years that’s when god takes you by the hand and says, “Come on, daughter, we have to celebrate and be glad.  I know, my daughter, I know.  Keep following me.  I’ll lead you by still waters.  I’m the God who sees you.”

psst: for when you’re wondering if he’s in control, where you can find rest, how to live in the moment…the lovely laura cooksey just released an awesome EP yesterday and yes, you better believe it’s on repeat. a real post on it to come on the lyrics hitting my heart but until then check it out!