curled up

this is a call to all the dead and disappointed

the ones who feel like they are done

this is a word to all the ones who feel forgotten

you are not.

oh you are not.

cause we’re alive. alive in You.

we are soaked in all the grace that we have been given

unchained from all that we have done

your mercy is rising like the sun on the horizon

we’re coming home

alive by sons & daughters

unexpected encouragement

*a timely word spoken

*a butterfly while running

*a tweet reply saying “feeling His pleasure over that tweet right there.”

*writing an e-mail that made me cry to find God in speaking to me through my own words

*being reminded that I can nap and let God work while I sleep

*someone’s facebook status that turns into a new background

*so many texts saying “i’m praying”

*sprinting through the bible in 90 days

*an “I’m proud of you”

*a song that speaks about my knight in shattered armor who is unbreakable

*the beautiful kiddos that hug me close every time I see them at church

*the little one who let me hold her while she colored…she didn’t know how much heart just needed to be held

*a text that hit home on more levels than the sender knew–God knew and He’s pretty sweet and pretty much got me in awe…”You desire His best, and it WILL come! Peace-His peace, comes with our giving up/giving over.”

Encouragement is everywhere. God is everywhere. You just have to take the time to remember and to learn to see Him in everything. He’s there. He’s holding your hand. He’s waiting with you.  Even when your heart is quiet and you don’t have much to say. It’s okay. He’s there.  He’ll hold you even when you wish you had a roomie to hold you. He’ll wipe your tears. He’ll still call you lovely especially with your teary green eyes. Yeah, He’s madly in love with you and He delights in you.

FaithBarista_Jam

a new kind of waiting

Letting go, she drops from the cloudburst into the sky.   Dancing through a stray sunbeam on her way, she learns to wait in the midst of saying both hello and good-bye.  Only then does she realize that this journey is not as it may seem.  Every ending is a new beginning; a new kind of waiting. Right when she thinks the wait is over then comes another.  She tumbles her way into the waters as they pound all around her.  Ouch. This twisting together and binding tight comes at a wrenching price.  At the edge of the water a flicker of twirling hope forms into an array of brilliant colors.  Slowly, He teaches her and helps her to realize that she must die to herself.  The more she learns to let go of herself, the more she can embrace Him and the less it hurts.  She catches glimpses of the abundant life.  Before long, she will find herself at the bottom of the waterfall a fully part of Him.  Swimming in His presence.

Waiting sometimes looks like a raindrop being tossed and turned into a waterfall.

Expectant. Hopeful. Tumultuous. Glorious.

—————–

קָוָה qavah

gather together, look, patiently, tarry, wait for, on, upon A primitive root; to bind together (perhaps by twisting), i.e. Collect; (figuratively) to expect — gather (together), look, patiently, tarry, wait (for, on, upon).

Psalm 25:5 “Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long.”

Psalm 27:14 Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring.  Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.”

Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God’s word].

*inspired by Greg Holder talking about how waiting was like his experience whitewater rafting on the Zambezi  during The Nines

a glimpse of god

I didn’t expect to find tears running down my face.  I didn’t expect to find such a clear glimpse of who God is and His love for me.  To see how faithful God is to walk with us and never leave.  That’s the thing about encouraging other people.  Oftentimes, you’re the one so blessed and can’t help but smile through the tears.

Within a free pack of cards from (in)courage for National Day of Encouragement, I pulled this one out to find my fingers covered in gold sparkles.  A card that I would not pick myself.  Oh, but, the words softened my heart toward it:

“Thank you for sharing God’s love, not only with your words but also with your life.  In today’s world, that’s not always easy to do–but you do it with kindness and consistency.  That’s what makes you different, and it’s the reason you make a difference.  Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do–you’re appreciated more than you know.”

Right away, I knew who God wanted to receive this card.  Words came easily across the paper as if we were sitting chatting together instead of miles apart.  Until I got caught on the word consistency…so I wrote:

“And you keep walking this road with me from afar even when you could have easily stopped when an ocean got in the way.”

Somewhere along the way I picked up this notion that even if people say they will walk with me through a storm…that they’ll end up leaving me alone.  Close to a year ago, I entered a big storm and made some life changing decisions.  One of my questions as I entered this storm was if a few people would walk with me…and here today, I find them still walking with me. The storm has changed, but the one who I’m giving this card to…well, she’s still here…walking through the rain with me and teaching me to jump in the puddles with a smile on my face even while the tears flow. All the while….encouraging. waiting. trusting. praying. with me.

pouring out my soul

I wrote a letter to my heart and as the night came, I found my heart wandering.  Wide awake when it should have been fast asleep!  I tried to lay in bed for a while, but I’m not one for laying idle.  Granted, I’ll sometimes say the alphabet backwards (try it, it’s fun).  But, before long, I turned back on my light to give into my sleeplessness.  Admittedly, I ate a delicious snack and then settled in for a little reading.

One of the pictures in my pretty new bible (did I mention that I finally got an amplified bible and that I absolutely LOVE it–see below) had fallen out at church and I had just tucked it in the Old Testament thinking I’d put it back in place later.  Pictures serve as my prayer reminders and well mostly to make me smile at love.  But, they also are handy bookmarks.  The one that had fallen out happened to go with a verse that’s been on my heart lately anyway….

So stand still and see this great thing the Lord will do before your eyes now. -(1 Samuel 12:16)

Being that I found myself STILL wide awake, I forayed to the beginning of 1 Samuel since I haven’t read it in far too long.  God met me in such a clear, stark way.

And [Hannah] was in distress of soul, praying to the Lord and weeping bitterly…Hannah was speaking in her heart…I was pouring out my soul before the Lord…Then Eli said, Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant your petition, which you have asked of Him.- (go ahead and read all of 1 Samuel 1)

That speaks volumes to my heart. So does this…

It has trained us…to live discreet (temperate, self-controlled), upright, devout (spiritually whole) lives in this present world.  Awaiting and looking for the [fulfillment, the realization of our] blessed hope…that He might redeem us (purchase our freedom) from all iniquity and purify for Himself a people [to be peculiarly His own, people who are] eager and enthusiastic about [living a life that is good and filled with] beneficial deeds. -(read Titus 2:11-15)

Then to top it all off and put a cherry on top for my heart, I went on a run through which God totally pursued me and loved on me.  I left praying that maybe God would help this heart to hold onto hope. Holding onto the Titus 2:11-15 verse to memorize and listening to these lyrics started it out:

now i stand in the hope of new life and I’ve found a hope stronger and nothing compares -I’ve Found a Love by Jenn Johnson (Bethel Live)

Oh and then right as those lyrics hit, I look up to see a beautiful deer running alongside my dirt road (did I tell you that I LOVE running on dirt?).  Beautiful.  Plus, I got to watch the sunset and just as it faded into the distance I turned around to head back only to see an absolutely gorgeous full moon. Yep. God sure knows how to woo my heart!

So, there’s one of my little love stories for the week.  How’s God been pursuing YOU? 🙂

p.s. here’s my bible…isn’t she pretty?

Creativity

Check this out!  I love the concept of taking something that you’re not good at or a rookie at and giving it a shot.  The whole idea behind being creative takes you out of your comfort zone and puts you into a challenging, thought-provoking, out of the box, dynamic situation in which you can utilize your gifts and talents in a unique, powerful way.  For me, I already have an “assignment” waiting for me.  Last week, I bought some paints since Kelly, my lovely intern director, gave me a canvas she hadn’t used.  I am definitely a rookie with painting, but already have a few dabbling thoughts for what to paint.  What about you? What area can you expand your creative thinking?

Weddings

One of my absolute favorite parts of a wedding is looking at the groom when the bride walks into the room.  Everyone stands up and turns to look at the bride, but I love seeing his face instead because I know she’ll be beaming all the way down the aisle.  He’s the one who is waiting at the end and can’t wait to meet her eyes.  Especially because when they finally see each other you just know so much love is being transferred through their eyes.

Some of you may know that I don’t really see in vivid “pictures,” but I see more in words, feelings, concepts.  I don’t know how to explain how I see other than not in clear, vibrant pictures.  All of that to say that today after I got back from a prayer walk I started asking God about what He sees and He gave me the verse 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”  Along with that, He showed me about how He sees me and how I am completely forgiven, clothed in an absolutely gorgeous white wedding dress.  To trump that, He is the groom looking with those expectant, excited, loving, forgiving, and full eyes.  I know, I know, sounds a bit lovey dovey and corny, but then there’s so much power in seeing ourselves as He actually sees us thanks to the blood of Christ.  When we fix our eyes on Him, we see that He has already won the race for us.  Such freedom in living and standing on His promises.

I Will Praise You

I’m in a waiting place filled with questions and events.  Questions about the future, about God’s timing, about His direction, and so much more.  Events such as family days, the end of shredding, the end of the internship, new beginnings, trips in December and other little things.  I’m setting my eyes and waiting.  I am surrendering my will and choosing to be like Daniel and Esther.  I am seeking wisdom, clarity and direction.  I refuse to be tossed around like a wave of the sea, but instead am holding tight to the One who will give me the desires of my heart.

sunrise