hands lifted up

At kids’ camp, I heard a comparison.  A simple one:  When we raise our hands up while singing during worship, we are like little children asking to be picked up.  I keep coming back to this in my heart so here’s my slightly expanded story version:

A little girl runs up to her father and stumbles on the way.  Skinned knees and teary eyes, she still looks up.  She sees her daddy’s eyes and flings her arms up in the air begging to be picked up. Oh, how she longs to be scooped up into her father’s loving arms!  Her heart is laid bare with its desire apparent: to be held.  She is vulnerable as she half lays on the ground yet knows that he is safe.  She puts herself fully in his care.  Finally, with a swoosh of air, she is shielded from all that surrounds as his strong arms draw her near.  She is so close that she can hear his heart beating.

Lately, I keep finding myself singing my heart out with arms held high. I find myself as that little girl who is working her way toward her Father’s arms.  Stumbling along the way and yet still reaching for Him.  Desiring to be held in His arms and to know that He’s taking care of it all.  Surrendering all to Him and gazing into His eyes. Because, really, it all comes down to….

trusting

that He will pick me up off the ground

that He is making all things beautiful

that He will do beyond all that I can ask or imagine

that His timing is best

that He holds my messy heart

that He will go back to Africa with me

that He is preparing us

that He loves us

—-

what are you trusting?

We Are Full of Beauty

that moment.

when the clock slows to fast forward.

to wrap us up in a memory that holds the sunrise of hope.

love.peace.comfort.overflowing.

into home.

being.simply being.

you.me.

being able to let all the masks fall off.

to fall asleep.

fully present. in beauty.

full of beauty.

*This is my response to the challenge presented by Sarah: “Write a blog post about beauty. Your thoughts, your pain, your triumphs. It can be outer beauty, inner beauty, what you hate, what you love. Anything. Be creative. It can even be a single photo.”

**That right there. written above. that’s when I feel beautiful and fully me. nothing held back.and even though it’s few and far between my heart so wants to feel and find that “fall asleep home” that fully comes from God more often. because in Him is where I am full of beauty.

***So, what about you? What are your thoughts about beauty?

I missed you too…

I am bursting at the seams with love and am completely overwhelmed with the love God has for me.  This weekend was a tough one.  One of battle after battle.  Not listening or entertaining the lies and distractions that desperately want me to believe that I’m not enough, that they won’t want me to come back, that I need to lose weight, that he’s gone, and that their actions say they don’t care, etc. Rather, holding fast to His words of truth and promises by reading His Word and prayer while laying things at the cross.

Yet, God turned the tide and came like a rushing stream last night and this morning.  My fellow interns prayed for me as I let the tears fall down my face.  I sat vulnerable, broken, and honest about the hard weekend.  Afterward, strengthened by prayer, God provided a source of life, of passion.  The timing worked out that I stayed up late editing a curriculum for the Leadership Summit classes.  I devoured every word and came alive.  I could barely sleep. When I woke up to see the sunrise, I found myself drawn to Isaiah where verse after verse captured my heart.

Isaiah 58:8-9 “Then your light will break out like the dawn and your recovery will speedily spring forth and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry and He will say, ‘Here I am.'”

Isaiah 61: 10 For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness.

Isaiah 62: 4 But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”

As I write, tears flood my eyes and stream down my face because I am so broken by His love. So broken to feel the love of God.  That even through everything, He keeps saying, “And I’m madly in love with you” and to show you that I’m going to give you an amazing gift today:

My heart broke in July when I had to say good-bye.  I cried so many tears and prayed so many prayers for him.  Each Friday still made my heart happy, but not like when he was there to give me a hug. Today, I got that hug I’ve been wanting for months. He played with my hair, I met his new family, I held him in my arms, I said I love you over and over, we sang Hakuna Matata, and he jumped up on my shoulders.  All the things that I loved and missed.  Yet, he stole my heart all over again and brought tears to my eyes when I heard the sweet words:

“I missed you too”

Life Together

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

NIV

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, 7but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. 8We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

NASB

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.

8Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.

ESV

But we were gentle among you,like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 8So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

 

To not only share the Gospel, but to do life together.  To share in the journey.  To be involved. To share our whole selves–the good, the bad, the struggles, the triumphs.  Authentic lives living together.  Going through life together.

Intentionally choosing to invest and “do life with others” isn’t easy!  Sometimes this choice requires being vulnerable and can get uncomfortable.  Yet, accountability, encouragement, understanding, love and such can result.

I want to be vulnerable, honest, authentic, true, and to show others that I care enough about them to share myself–my time, my struggles, my thoughts, my sin, all of me.