Learning to Deal with Disappointment

How you learn to manage your disappointments in your life will determine your destiny.

-Christine Caine

Disappointments come all around us in life.  They start coming even when we’re little.  When the friend chooses someone else to share her cookie with that day or when we don’t get to go on a class trip or when we miss out on getting the most amazing new toy ever.  Sometimes we’ll pout and throw our fits.  Other times we’ll get mean and say some angry words because at the core, we’re hurt.

 Then we get a little older and well, the disappointments don’t stop coming.  The little disappointments are still there like missing out on getting a cute new Starbucks mug because they sold out or missing going to a store because it closed or someone else getting what we wanted.  “Bigger” things too can crush our fragile hearts like not getting picked for a job or watching a ministry close down or not being able to get pregnant or watching our plans change.  That’s when we might simply cry because we had a plan and now it’s going all wrong.  We’d prayed and prayed and things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

I started writing this post on December 12, 2011.  I had no clue on that day what God would do in my life and how different everything would be just a year later.  There’s the acknowledgement that if some of my disappointments hadn’t come, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  Yet, there’s also the acknowledgement that those disappointments were exactly that. A disappointment.  Something to feel, grieve, and walk out.  Even when good is worked out of a situation, it can still hurt.

But that’s where Christine Cain ever so convictingly reminds us that how we handle those disappointments will determine our destiny.  Will we stay in our hurt and in turn hurt those around us?  Will we thank and worship God even so?  Will we hold grudges and reject others because of our jealousy or hurt?  Will we choose faith or fear? How will we handle our disappointments?

Lord, I haven’t always handled my disappointments with grace and love….help me, teach me, and be with me as the disappointments keep coming so that I can handle them in a healthy, godly way that draws me closer to You.

Thinking it Through

Sometimes I’ll run across things that cause me to stop and think just for a moment longer or I’ll even let them roll around in my head for a while…here’s a smattering of what has been hitting my heart lately!

This post made me stop and ask what if we really did stop categorizing…if we opened the floodgates for open and frank conversations sprinkled with grace and love rather than full of judgment and labels.  What if we threw out the dirty water examples and started showing each other how to fall forward.  We all have our areas where we’ve fallen.  Whether it be greed or lust or gossip or anger.  Let’s put down the stones and start drawing in the sand forgiveness and love.

Heart-wrenching grief and love rolled into one gloriously messy post.

Words do cut deep. They echo for long after they’ve been said especially when they’re one of your top love languages.  I often try to rush the healing process and to skip past the tears.  I don’t honor my emotions easily.  I’ve learned that I need to and that God is ever gracious when I do.  I thought I had learned this, but I’m finding He’s teaching me all over again that I’m okay healing in my own time frame and in my own way.  Other people may not understand this, but that’s okay…not everyone knows my story and how it has made me, me.  Those that do know me, love me, and remind me that it’s okay…that I’m okay.

I dare you to love yourself. And I dare myself to take the same challenge.  To love how God has made each of us.

What if  _____? Will you fill in the blank with fear or faith?

I love the prodigal son story. I find myself as both the younger and the older son.  I’m one off running toward my dreams and plans only to find out that I’ve been deceived.  But I’m also the one staying put being obedient without ever knowing that my Father is ever there with abundant blessings.  Too often when I’m seeing the Father lavish His grace and love on others…I’m only asking for a small goat or sitting in the mundane every day not even looking or asking for Him.  Really. As if, my Jesus doesn’t pour out the love and good gifts on me way more than just a small goat…is my view of God really so small.  Let me ever learn to know Him more and more.

 

like a good Father you will take care.

You wrap yourself around every detail of my life.

cause i mean everything to You.

when i’m feeling that i’m falling apart…You hold me now

God-Sized Dreaming

When I saw that Holley Gerth was giving away a free ebook about God-sized dreaming, I jumped on board right away! I love Holley’s heart and well she’s just plain fun, encouraging, and she’s a counselor too so that’s pretty awesome.  But then Tuesday rolled around and I realized I still had nothing to write about.  I kept thinking about how much I love dreaming and plans and goals….but a god-sized dream? I got nothing.  In fact, I was a bit disappointed and perhaps even a little tentative to even pick one.  After watching a few dreams get slammed doors, I’ve learned that oftentimes God knows things going on behind the scenes and that my plans aren’t always the best.  I look back and can see the huge hand of protection on my life over and over.  At the time, I may have been devastated and heartbroken, but God knew.  He even had amazing blessings and favor to pour onto my life in the meantime.  Though, that doesn’t mean I stop dreaming all together! Plus, there’s a difference between dreaming on my own and dreaming with God!  Not to say that God still doesn’t walk us through disappointment along the way.  Even Job who walked with God still went through horrific tragedy.

So, god-sized dream. I don’t know what you are.  I used to think you were packaged neatly with a bow on top.  I used to itch to move overseas ASAP and thought for sure that’s what God had and He might still–the timing may just be not yet. I used to have all your details planned out.  But, right now, I’m sitting in the place of being faithful and obedient to the place I am at with an open and ready heart to follow You.  Thankfully, my story is still being written by a faithful, loving, good God.

When I saw Holley’s post about those of us who don’t know what our dreams are….well, I felt right at home.  Boil it down and simplify it and wait to see what God does.  Love god, love others.

So with a nice little prayer. Let’s go on this journey anyway and see where He leads.

A God-sized Dreamers’ Prayer

God, your thoughts are not my thoughts {Is. 55:8}.

What you have planned for me is beyond all I can ask or imagine {Eph. 3:19-20}.

Yet you have also promised to reveal it to me through your Spirit {1 Cor. 2:8-10}.

So I open my heart, mind, and life to more of you–to whatever you have for me. Where there is ongoing fear in my life, please replace it with faith. Where there is a desire to hold back, give me the strength to move forward. Where there is a desert, lead me into the Promised Land you have prepared for me.

I embrace that my part is to pray, plan, and most of all seek you. And yours is to get me where you want me to go {Prov. 16:9, Prov. 19:21}. Wherever that is, that’s where I want to be too. Because there’s no better place in this world or the next than with you {Ps. 84:10}.

Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth {especially my little corner of it} as it is in heaven {Matt. 6:10}.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.