If you know me even a little, then you probably know that I tend to think….think a lot.  Sometimes to the point where it gets in the way and puts up walls (not a good thing) and stops things from going from my head to my heart.  The last few days I got all caught up in the thinking.  The heady, here’s what experience tells me.  I “know” the truth, but I couldn’t shake the all over the board emotions ranging from confused to frustrated to happy to disappointed to sad to lonely to okay to everything else.  I bounced around and couldn’t find my footing on the solid rock.

Until today. I sat in class and I tried to pay attention and engage in conversation, but every once in a while my thoughts would overwhelm me still.  Until I heard these words, “Follow Me.”  Funny thing is that we were talking about ministering to youth and I really don’t remember how that fit in and neither does my roomie (I asked her later).  So then, God immediately brought to mind the verse below:

“…what is that to you?  You follow Me!”

My reaction: Whoa. Lord, you are so here.  You are so getting my attention.  Because really.  What is it to me that ___ is doing this or that God is working in that way in their lives.  Even, who is that to me and what is that to you that I’m working in a way you didn’t expect.  When all I need to focus on is following Him then everything else fades away.  Africa fades away. Lindo fades away. Thrive fades away. Hope House kids fade away. Marriage fades away.

Yes, good things and yes, serving is good, but He just wants me to “be.”  He loves me when I’m just sitting on the floor with Him leaning against my bed.  He wants me to follow Him and be with Him.  He wants to step out only on His firm foundation.

“It had opened her eyes to the fact that right down in the depths of her own heart she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised but for himself.  All she wanted was to be allowed to follow him forever. “Nothing else really matters only to love him and to do what he tells me.” -Hinds Feet in High Places

I Am No Longer That Woman

The book Hinds’ Feet in High Places captured my attention from the beginning with the storyline, characters, and words.  In the story, Much-Afraid, the main character, is on a journey to the high places so that she can enter the Kingdom of Love and be with the Shepherd.

Along the journey, the Shepherd takes her on a path that leads away from the high places.  She questions Him about this with tear-filled eyes and in response He tells her, “No, it is not a contradiction, only postponement for the best to become possible,” and the author writes, “He was leading her away from her heart’s desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when he would bring her back.”

I love her response to Him: I will go with you for you know I do love you and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please.

She also later after she has gone through trials and held onto the Shepherd’s promises, she says, “I was that woman, but am not that woman now.”  She said because of an “inner and secret mark [that] no one would have noticed any difference outwardly but all the same a deep inner change had taken place, which indicated a new stage in her life.”

As for me, I recently wrote about how God overwhelms me with love.  He holds me close and is leading me on a journey.  A journey that brought me to a crossroad where I chose and continue to choose to dig deep and press into Him.  Now as I read these quotes, I see that I have come to a new stage that I am no longer that woman.  That I am continuing and must continue to choose life, choose freedom, and ultimately choose Him.  Every day learning how to lay it at His feet and let Him choose anything that He wants for me. Letting the “bold” things in this blog be my prayer and my promise. All to bring glory to Him.

Day of Thoughts, part 2

“Romance is the deepest thing in life, romance is even deeper than reality.”
G.k. Chesterton

Thoughts from a talk on leadership:

  • Fear is a backwards motivator
  • Pure obedience comes from a love for Jesus
  • What are you trying to hide?
  • Keep your heart yielded and keep following Him.
  • When you understand the way of a leader as being a shepherd then you will be a dynamic leader.
  • A shepherd feeds his sheep everyday and only shears once a year.

Andy Stanley Series: That Hideous Thing (jealousy)

  • You think God ripped you off.  God could have given you this, God could have done that.
  • 1 Cor. 13 You can’t love until you get rid of envy
  • 1. Acknowledge this truth and take it to God. I think God owes me. 2. Confess your jealousy to the person if you need to. 3. Celebrate the people you envy and celebrate them out loud.”

Captivating: Healing the Wound

  • Now, Jesus said, don’t you think God cares just a little bit more for you than for the birds of the air? “Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matt. 6:26).  Indeed, you are.  You, dear heart, are the crown of creation, his glorious image bearer.  And he will do everything it takes to rescue you and set your heart free.
  • He came to restore the glorious creation that you are.  And then set you free….to be yourself
  • Our journey toward healing begins when we repent of those ways, lay them down, let them go. 
  • Healing never comes against our will
  • We all still need to know and find the answers in God: Do you see me? Am I captivating? Do I have a beauty all my own? Will you heal me? Can you really heal me? Am I really worth it?