Playing in the Puddles

Are you ready for a triple shot of real? If not, then skip ahead to the weekend and come back after I’m done playing in the puddles…

Sometimes life feels like one big puddle where you start splashing around only to realize that the water’s gone up and over your boots.  That feeling? Not so pleasant.  For me, rejection sometimes feels like that.  I’m running along, playing, laughing, enjoying, only to be suddenly struck with some cold, wet reality.

In my first year of college, I found my boots flooded with dirty water.  I skated through first semester: made friends, studied extra hard, even met a boy. Come January, I found myself participating in rush. Why? Good question. I’m not a sorority girl and I knew that. But that was the thing to do on a campus with probably 90% of the students in a sorority or fraternity. So, I followed suit. Problem number one…

The thing that they never tell you is that some girls…don’t make the cut. I was one of those. After parading around campus going to the different houses for little get to know you parties, each house makes a list of those they ask back. These girls I didn’t know. These girls I met for one night. Slashed my name off the list of “wanted.” And, yeah, those cold waters pierced my skin in a not so pleasant way.

Except, the amazing part? God turns things around. I can still feel the sunshine, the crunch of grass beneath a blanket covered in books and my pink Bible laid open.  See, I used all this extra time to soak up and wrestle with God instead of running around with a sorority. He brought me  further along in the journey of learning how to turn toward Him instead of clutching some of my idols (success, money, my plans). He started me on a continual journey of learning to look to Him for who I am rather than what others say because then I can play in the puddles and if the water comes rushing, I will not be shaken.  Because see, He wants me, I’m on His list, and in the end…I am His delight.

Ready to put on your rain boots and go play in some puddles with me?

Because I know that I don’t want to miss out on some fun because of the fear of getting wet…do you?

*prompted to serve up a shot of faith by the Faith Barista 🙂

Joy Wash Over Me

My head is coming up out of the water and I’m letting the waves wash over me again as I keep seeking and choosing joy.  My lists gets longer each week. The numbers climb toward 1,000.  How am I already over halfway?!  Well, part of it, is simply by taking a little of Anne Lamott’s advice by throwing some ingredients into the equation: being present, feeling things deeply, and becoming conscious in order to add something a little extra to this challenge of making life into art.  I even find myself writing down things that don’t seem like they should count, but they do now!  Besides, He tells us to give thanks for ALL things…which is part of experiencing joy for me.

Here’s a snapshot of my list:

459. seeking a sunrise

466. falling through the snow

475. having it okay to be real with God–He can take it.

488. looking for the swans

491. finishing 16.1 kilometers!!!!!

503. tears on the car ride home

510. the feeling of knowing you loved because it hurts to say good-bye

516. capturing the beautiful in a sentence

523. using up all my battery

527. driving with the windows down

551. someone saying “you’re such a kid…” (in a good way)

Your turn!! Share some of the joy 🙂

 

me I love you

Counting it all joy and keeping track.  Here are a few of the things I wrote down this week that brought me joy.  What about you? What brought you joy?

1. hearing “me I love you”

2. skype phone calls to across the pond

12. another subbing job!

14. seat warmers

16. a bright happy new scarf

20. sitting in a gym surrounded by kiddos with one giving me a hug

27. tortilla chips in ready supply

31. getting paid to hold babies

35. being able to be real and raw

47. people you know you’ll love forever

Gratitude Community

Sandcastles

“I have to trust that I can really know a person. Deep-down, hearts-connected, honest-to-goodness, truly know someone.  I desire to be known in that way, and I desire to know others on that level. And I refuse to believe that intimacy is only a sandcastle waiting for a wave to erase it from the shoreline. Some things just have to be real.”

—Grit and Glory

Circumstances, situations, and people resulted in some of my sandcastles to be washed away, but through it all I agree with Alece.  I won’t stop trusting.  I won’t stop risking.  I won’t stop letting others into my world even when I want to runaway. I refuse to let the past determine the future even though it’s hard. If it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it.

Pondering…

Pros

1. I like blogging
2. I like writing and expressing myself through words.
3. I love having a written record of events, thoughts and random things even if I only look back on it once or never do.
4. I enjoy seeing how many people visit my blog and sometimes leave comments
5. I hope that my words sometimes encourage, provide hope, invoke thinking, provide insight, are “real” and relatable to the people that read my blog
   • I like reading some blogs myself and I have been impacted by their words–even if I’m only a “lurker” and don’t always comment

Cons

1. I don’t know my audience
   • I don’t know how to engage authentic, open discussion and comments without knowing my audience
2. I’m not sure if blogging is a wise use of my time
3. Sometimes I look at the “stats” too often or want more comments…then I wonder why am I blogging.
   • EDIT: I realized that these two thoughts were not supposed to really flow together.  I meant this more of a “I don’t want to blog for the stats.  I want to blog for other reasons.  I want to have reasons for why I am blogging.” I did NOT intend it to come across as “If I don’t get high enough stats then why am I even blogging.”  Not sure if this is any clearer, but oh well.
4. I don’t really have a “purpose” to blog or a theme
   • The closest I have to a purpose is the hope that someone, somewhere might be positively affected by my words
5. I see value in the personal, honest posts yet I don’t want my blog to be a place to “vent” or “gossip” or anything related
6. I fear that I may have hurt or will hurt others who read my blog with my words–I don’t want to have a hidden agenda or use this space in an unkind way

Are your antennas up???

I missed a week of Ministry is Relationships, but here is the synopsis I was given:

The missing *ingredient for relational action in ministry

1. willingness
2. equipped-ness           }      = ACTION
3. awareness

The diagram was a little hard to replicate but hopefully you get the idea that 1,2,3 = Action

Also, the main idea was to put your antennas up and keep them up!  Be on the look out for relationships and how to nourish and create relationships.

Colossians 3:23

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men

 Forgive me, if these thoughts are a little scattered, but they seem to be the main idea.  Be aware of your surroundings, notice others, incorporate others, don’t let your groups become exclusive, ect.

I am much more comfortable sticking with the group of friends I have and not being the out-going meet everyone kind of person.  The tricky part is to keep your antennas up and be authentic and real.  I don’t want to meet people just because “I’m supposed to” or that’s what is “expected” of me.  I am drawn to authentic, real people rather than those who seem or appear to be putting on an act of caring.

Holy Club

The members of John Wesley’s Holy Club asked themselves these questions each day in their private devotions:

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I hypocrite?

2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?

3. Do I confidently pass on to another what I was told in confidence?

4. Can I be trusted?

5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?

6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?

7. Did the Bible live in me today?

8. Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?

9. Am I enjoying prayer?

10. When did I last speak to someone else of my faith?

11. Do I pray about the money I spend?

12. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?

13. Do I disobey God in anything?

14. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscious is uneasy?

15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?

16. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?

17. How do I spend my spare time?

18. Am I proud?

19. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the publican?

20. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard?

21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?

22. Is Christ real to me?