I am most myself when…

I loved the idea behind this post and the happy thoughts generated so I thought I’d share with you all here:

I am most myself when I am sitting on my bed watching the sunrise mulling over the Bible and talking with God.

I am most myself outside…running, hiking, sitting, soaking up the sun.

I am most myself when I’m in shorts, a tank top, bare feet, and curled up in my bed with a good book.

I am most myself when I am wearing sunglasses on top of my head.

I am most myself when I bring my laptop in the bathroom/am driving with my ipod and turn the volume up way loud and get lost in a song.

I am most myself surrounded by kiddos.

What about you?!

Memory Memo

John 3:8 “The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

This is the verse I’m mulling over in my head this week.  I pull it out at the gym while on the bike.  I use it as a book marker for The Poisonwood Bible (I’m finally reading it!).  I ponder it in between car rides when I’m not jamming out to some tunes (“More Like Falling in Love” by Jason Gray).  I’m letting it sink in and settle it’s way down.

But, now I’m asking you, friend, what do you think of the verse? What’s God telling you through it and what insights have you gained from it? Practical, tangible, vague, undeveloped, hearty, any of the above or any other.  Or on the flip side, are you memorizing any verses now? What about those? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you.

Soaking It In

I’ve become a SLOW reader. Why? Because I want to soak up every little bit of literary crafting in order to fully let the words get into my heart and not just my head.  I’ve been plugging my way through Mark Batterson’s new book Primal and needless to say, I’m intrigued.

I so appreciated his reminder that “silence is one of the soul’s love languages” after coming from a place that exudes silence (a farm far from town) and going into a small, but “noisy” city.  I love getting away in the wilderness…

Along with that, I SO needed the following reminder: “But if God is speaking to your heart, don’t let your mind get in the way of what God wants you to do. Sometimes loving God with all your heart simply means listening to your heart instead of your head.” Whoa, so good. When God invades my heart in such a shattering way, I don’t want to get caught up in the silly games my head plays. God completely changed my heart this last year and I’m letting Him come deeper so that my heart can respond with a big “YES” regardless of how it looks to my head.

So, what do you think? Are you looking for a primal faith? Ready to go on a quest for the lost soul of Christianity with Mark? Check out the book here or when I finish my copy, I’ll send it your way!

p.s. Check back tomorrow for another great quote from Primal and some thoughts about what breaks God’s heart…

*This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Bam!

If you know me even a little, then you probably know that I tend to think….think a lot.  Sometimes to the point where it gets in the way and puts up walls (not a good thing) and stops things from going from my head to my heart.  The last few days I got all caught up in the thinking.  The heady, here’s what experience tells me.  I “know” the truth, but I couldn’t shake the all over the board emotions ranging from confused to frustrated to happy to disappointed to sad to lonely to okay to everything else.  I bounced around and couldn’t find my footing on the solid rock.

Until today. I sat in class and I tried to pay attention and engage in conversation, but every once in a while my thoughts would overwhelm me still.  Until I heard these words, “Follow Me.”  Funny thing is that we were talking about ministering to youth and I really don’t remember how that fit in and neither does my roomie (I asked her later).  So then, God immediately brought to mind the verse below:

“…what is that to you?  You follow Me!”

My reaction: Whoa. Lord, you are so here.  You are so getting my attention.  Because really.  What is it to me that ___ is doing this or that God is working in that way in their lives.  Even, who is that to me and what is that to you that I’m working in a way you didn’t expect.  When all I need to focus on is following Him then everything else fades away.  Africa fades away. Lindo fades away. Thrive fades away. Hope House kids fade away. Marriage fades away.

Yes, good things and yes, serving is good, but He just wants me to “be.”  He loves me when I’m just sitting on the floor with Him leaning against my bed.  He wants me to follow Him and be with Him.  He wants to step out only on His firm foundation.

“It had opened her eyes to the fact that right down in the depths of her own heart she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised but for himself.  All she wanted was to be allowed to follow him forever. “Nothing else really matters only to love him and to do what he tells me.” -Hinds Feet in High Places

Weighty

I stood at the doorway waiting to bring in the Jell-o for the game to see who could eat it the fastest through a straw.  My eyes watched the room from afar.  Looking at the wide range of emotions on the kids’ faces and seeing their reactions to counting stickers.  When I looked closer, I saw and felt hope.  These kids live at Hope House.  A House that can be filled with Hope.  An expectation of things to come, the potential for changed lives filled the room.

Suddenly, my attention turned to a cry from outside the room with commotion.  I turned to see what happened.  Katleho (above) sat on the floor crying.  I asked what had happened to find out that he had fallen forward with his head hitting the floor first.  A bump already popped out and a previous scar from another fall stood out.  My heart reached out with my hands as I tried to hold his hand.  The caretaker tried to drag him to his feet by grabbing his hand, but I went behind asking if I could carry him into the kitchen.  I picked him up, not noticing the wetness, and sat with him on the floor.  I asked the caretakers about Katleho’s seizures and if he was taking his medicine along with if he was up for adoption.

Desperately, I wanted to take him home with me along with all the other kids.  I wanted to hold them in my arms and give them the one-on-one attention they crave.  Yet, more than that, I wanted to show them that I believe in them.  I believe they can.  I don’t want to say, “I can do this for you.” I want to empower them and overwhelm them with love. To feel the weight of the glory of God and the weight of His love for them.

1 Corinthians 13:7 “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything”

I want to blog, I want to blog, I want to blog!

But “Life got in the way.” I am working like crazy trying to tie up loose ends and soaking up quality time with those around me. Plus, I refrained from using the internet too much while in Florida. I leave “next” week. Ah! To top it all off, I have all these great blog ideas rolling around in my head and I’m reading an awesome book that brings even more (Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus). So….maybe tonight?

So Many Thoughts

Wow, I feel like my head has been turned upside down and is ready to burst with all the thoughts I have running through it.  Thank-you Carrie.  Yikes.  I have so many blog topics that I want to run with and embrace but now I’m overwhelmed to the point where I don’t know how to pick!  So, I’m going to give you a snapshot and then decide later (aka tomorrow or later this week) which topics I want to pursue further with the written word 😉

Me: “How do I live a life with purpose, with meaning, with passion?  Does this mean that I have to change jobs? What if I have to move? Will I give up the comforts I’ve embraced to chase after Jesus?  Wait a minute…do I even know how to follow Him, yet alone where He’s leading me!?”

“Big ideas…am I thinking too small?”

“Am I an F or a T? Who knows…but personality types sure are interesting”

“I love the deep, searching talks yet so often I leave wondering where to begin and what I need to do.  I want to change so many things and figure out things, but…”

“Alright, life…what are we waiting for?  I don’t want to live in a ‘when this happens’ life begins kind of state.  I want to live life now and embrace my current situation-the good, the bad, all of it.  Help me let go of the ‘when I get married or when I have money’ ideas.”

“I’m waiting for someone with passion.  I’m not settling.”

“I screwed up. I’m sorry.  I sinned and now what am I going to do about it?”

“I got hurt. So what? Jesus was betrayed–he didn’t throw a pity party so neither should I.”