Saturday Mornings

October 4, 2014 / Katy / Leave a comment

There’s something sacred about Saturday mornings. They are typically a day without work and come with a slower pace. Growing up, I loved Saturday morning cartoons and being able to stay up late on Friday night. I’m finding myself today wondering about what future Saturday mornings will look like for my little family. Last week, we walked to the farmers market for breakfast and it did my heart well. Today I’m curled up in bed holding a sweet, snuggly, sleeping boy waiting for the husband to get home. This is just about as perfect as it gets in this season (only thing better would be if the husband was home!).

When I think ahead, I hope my kids will jump on the bed on Saturday mornings and make time to snuggle even when they’re a little older. We will make it a family affair of slow mornings with big breakfasts and lots of play.

Oh sure I realize when I’m in the thick of it that it won’t look as perfect or idyllic as I see it now and that’s okay. There will probably be arguing over who sits where or who gets to eat the first pancake.

And how does all of this tie into my “becoming the beloved” series? Well. Saturday mornings remind me that I love days doing things I love with the people I love even when it’s not perfect. In the same way, being the beloved means I can come to God and show up in this life with all my messes and still find myself having a good Saturday morning curled up in bed eating pancakes. Even on the days where I’ve spilled the syrup or dropped a plate or forgotten to get the juice. I can still come and be accepted and loved. And we can still find joy in it all.

Becoming the Beloved

October 1, 2014October 1, 2014 / Katy / 2 Comments

So. There’s this thing that I did a few years ago and well I saw it pop up again and thought…let’s go for it again! The goal: write every day for the 31 days of October. Plus, I recently got chosen to join in on a writing course (I am pumped!) so I thought this would be a good opportunity to add accountability and fun to writing.

I’m diving in with my expectations open and my heart willing to explore all different avenues. I’m anticipating that you might find mini devotionals, pictures, quotes, scripture, life updates, and heart thoughts throughout the month. I suspect that each day will bring a bit of a surprise along this journey. I want to bring my heart deeper into an intimate knowing that I am the beloved of God. This is something that I’m pretty good at knowing in my head, but getting it to my heart is a whole other story. And so it begins!

p.s. Maybe you’re wondering why I picked a sprinkle doughnut for a button picture? Well, check back for a future post on that little topic later this week!

Beloved: dearly loved, a much loved person

Hello 2014

January 1, 2014February 5, 2014 / Katy / 7 Comments

Hello 2014. Open.

Open hands. Open heart. Open eyes. Open ears. This year that has just begun feels like it will be full of opportunities, open doors, and open road adventure. I thought I would hide out in God’s goodness, but He led me instead to be open. There is so much mystery and unknown coming this year. So many things that will shake my world in ways that I cannot predict. Sometimes we can prepare and prepare and prepare, but in the end, we need to be open to embracing the situations and circumstances thrown our way in the best way possible. Thankfully, while being open, I can rest in knowing that God knows. He sees. He’s gone before me and He’s prepared the way. He already knows the doors I will need to pry open and the ones that I need to find. He knows the open windows that will bring in the fresh breath of air when I’m drowning. There’s beauty to be found this year. Being open requires new levels and a depth of vulnerability, truth, authenticity, transparency, willingness, and courage. So, 2014. I’m here. Ready and open.

Let the weight of your glory come and settle on us now

We stand in awe for you are holy and your kindness overwhelms

Be lifted up you heavenly gates

Be opened wide you ancient doors.

Open to opportunities. Open to rebuke and criticism. Open to change. Open to serve.

Opening my home. Open to deeper friendships. Open to others. Open to move or stay.

Open to adventure. Open to risk. Open to vulnerability. Open to truth. Open to love.

Open to God.

after

April 5, 2013 / Katy / 10 Comments

five minutes of writing on friday! i’m ready. are you? jump on in on the fun over here.

here’s the prompt!

after

the music fades, the people have left, the airplane lands, the fanfare slows, and we find ourselves in the after. the after moments of eery quiet filled with tense wondering of is this all there was and the wide eyed anticipation of just how these moments will change everything. for in these moments and places and situations the course of our story changes. sometimes i’ve known ahead of time that i will lay down my rock to create an altar of remembrance. other times the moments pass me by before i’ve realized that that was the time when things changed. there’s the before and the after africa. the before and after “i do.” the before and after “god, you are my all in all.” my life is filled to the brim with these sacred moments and while some of them hurt so bad that i’d rather skip them altogether, i can’t help but still recognize the powerful ways they’ve changed me. they’ve rearranged me. He’s rearranged me. He’s wrecked me. wholly and fully for His purposes and plans. being conformed and being renewed requires a whole lot of bending and stretching and fitting awkwardly into the new afters.

3 months and counting

March 12, 2013March 12, 2013 / Katy / 2 Comments

3 super happy months of being married! woot! in celebration, I went through our wedding pictures and honeymoon pictures to finally post them on facebook. if we’re friends, you can look at them here. made me totally want to do the whole day over again and to run off to the mountains and the beach like now. but instead, i’ll make a list of all the fun things i love about life right where i’m at! in no particular order here are 12 things for the 12th.

1. being married

2. my awesome husband

3. my adorable dog Boaz who loves me

4. my church family.

5. a wonderful place to live that is warm even though it’s still cold outside

6. traveling to look forward to in the future

7. friends’ super cute babies

8. being able to e-mail and text best friends

9. being able to cook all sorts of deliciousness

10. pinterest boards of lovely things

11. books to read and time to read them

12. mornings spent with god reading the bible and doing the breaking free bible study

What are you loving about your life right now?

Learning to Deal with Disappointment

March 11, 2013 / Katy / Leave a comment

How you learn to manage your disappointments in your life will determine your destiny.

-Christine Caine

Disappointments come all around us in life. They start coming even when we’re little. When the friend chooses someone else to share her cookie with that day or when we don’t get to go on a class trip or when we miss out on getting the most amazing new toy ever. Sometimes we’ll pout and throw our fits. Other times we’ll get mean and say some angry words because at the core, we’re hurt.

Then we get a little older and well, the disappointments don’t stop coming. The little disappointments are still there like missing out on getting a cute new Starbucks mug because they sold out or missing going to a store because it closed or someone else getting what we wanted. “Bigger” things too can crush our fragile hearts like not getting picked for a job or watching a ministry close down or not being able to get pregnant or watching our plans change. That’s when we might simply cry because we had a plan and now it’s going all wrong. We’d prayed and prayed and things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

I started writing this post on December 12, 2011. I had no clue on that day what God would do in my life and how different everything would be just a year later. There’s the acknowledgement that if some of my disappointments hadn’t come, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Yet, there’s also the acknowledgement that those disappointments were exactly that. A disappointment. Something to feel, grieve, and walk out. Even when good is worked out of a situation, it can still hurt.

But that’s where Christine Cain ever so convictingly reminds us that how we handle those disappointments will determine our destiny. Will we stay in our hurt and in turn hurt those around us? Will we thank and worship God even so? Will we hold grudges and reject others because of our jealousy or hurt? Will we choose faith or fear? How will we handle our disappointments?

Lord, I haven’t always handled my disappointments with grace and love….help me, teach me, and be with me as the disappointments keep coming so that I can handle them in a healthy, godly way that draws me closer to You.

home.

March 8, 2013 / Katy / 3 Comments

Write for ~~5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.~~ er…write for as long and however your heart needs =)

home

i hide from this word sometimes because oh how it haunts me in a heartbreakingly raw way. before i know it, i’m playing around with google looking up for ways to get myself home. checking flights and seeing prices. looking at pictures and wondering if when i get there if it’ll still be home. will she still be the home i have in my heart? i’ve changed so much since my feet last hit her ground. my heart has traveled all over since then. i’ve found myself at the feet of fountains in rome and on the beaches of greece. i’ve walked the streets of london and sat in her theaters. i’ve sat in staff meetings with staff i love. i’ve careened around the streets of sri lanka. i’ve zip lined through mexico. i’ve laughed and loved my way through VBS and kids camps. i’ve held the babes in rwanda. i’ve found a man who holds my heart and is my other kind of home…the strong, steady, safe. god’s brought me all the places i never thought i’d go. but then again i never thought i’d find myself in south africa in the first place. and i don’t know where He’ll bring me us next. maybe germany. maybe guatemala. maybe china. maybe back home to south africa (pretty please?). maybe some country i’ve never even thought about.

Thinking it Through

March 7, 2013February 5, 2014 / Katy / Leave a comment

Sometimes I’ll run across things that cause me to stop and think just for a moment longer or I’ll even let them roll around in my head for a while…here’s a smattering of what has been hitting my heart lately!

This post made me stop and ask what if we really did stop categorizing…if we opened the floodgates for open and frank conversations sprinkled with grace and love rather than full of judgment and labels. What if we threw out the dirty water examples and started showing each other how to fall forward. We all have our areas where we’ve fallen. Whether it be greed or lust or gossip or anger. Let’s put down the stones and start drawing in the sand forgiveness and love.

Heart-wrenching grief and love rolled into one gloriously messy post.

Words do cut deep. They echo for long after they’ve been said especially when they’re one of your top love languages. I often try to rush the healing process and to skip past the tears. I don’t honor my emotions easily. I’ve learned that I need to and that God is ever gracious when I do. I thought I had learned this, but I’m finding He’s teaching me all over again that I’m okay healing in my own time frame and in my own way. Other people may not understand this, but that’s okay…not everyone knows my story and how it has made me, me. Those that do know me, love me, and remind me that it’s okay…that I’m okay.

I dare you to love yourself. And I dare myself to take the same challenge. To love how God has made each of us.

What if _____? Will you fill in the blank with fear or faith?

I love the prodigal son story. I find myself as both the younger and the older son. I’m one off running toward my dreams and plans only to find out that I’ve been deceived. But I’m also the one staying put being obedient without ever knowing that my Father is ever there with abundant blessings. Too often when I’m seeing the Father lavish His grace and love on others…I’m only asking for a small goat or sitting in the mundane every day not even looking or asking for Him. Really. As if, my Jesus doesn’t pour out the love and good gifts on me way more than just a small goat…is my view of God really so small. Let me ever learn to know Him more and more.

like a good Father you will take care.

You wrap yourself around every detail of my life.

cause i mean everything to You.

when i’m feeling that i’m falling apart…You hold me now