Letting Go of Worry

Even though this post was written back in February, I find it still changing how I see things.  I didn’t even comment on it but it touched my heart and changed how I saw worry and still does….

I’ve gathered these stones and need to come to the water’s edge to lay them down.  I throw them far far away into the water.  Though, oftentimes I find them back in my hands only to be let go again. A continual letting go and letting God.

fear.insecurity.africa.shame.guilt.sin.compliments.idols.screwingup.

relationships.anger.jealousy.impatience.mybaby.futurebabies.futurehusband.

thefuture.control.greed.money.friendships.rejection.hurt.offense.

myself.

Last night, I went for a run and wandered my way down to my own water’s edge. I picked up a few rocks and threw them far. I watched them splash and felt my heart take a deep breath.  I listened to what He’s done for me. I poured out my heart before Him and rested in trusting Him. I came to my room to write it down.  To write down the prayers and keep on letting go. To tuck them away in a little prayer box and know that He hears, He sees, He knows me. I’m sure these are things I’ll have to keep on letting go because after all He did say…

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”  -Luke 9:23

 

unexpected encouragement

*a timely word spoken

*a butterfly while running

*a tweet reply saying “feeling His pleasure over that tweet right there.”

*writing an e-mail that made me cry to find God in speaking to me through my own words

*being reminded that I can nap and let God work while I sleep

*someone’s facebook status that turns into a new background

*so many texts saying “i’m praying”

*sprinting through the bible in 90 days

*an “I’m proud of you”

*a song that speaks about my knight in shattered armor who is unbreakable

*the beautiful kiddos that hug me close every time I see them at church

*the little one who let me hold her while she colored…she didn’t know how much heart just needed to be held

*a text that hit home on more levels than the sender knew–God knew and He’s pretty sweet and pretty much got me in awe…”You desire His best, and it WILL come! Peace-His peace, comes with our giving up/giving over.”

Encouragement is everywhere. God is everywhere. You just have to take the time to remember and to learn to see Him in everything. He’s there. He’s holding your hand. He’s waiting with you.  Even when your heart is quiet and you don’t have much to say. It’s okay. He’s there.  He’ll hold you even when you wish you had a roomie to hold you. He’ll wipe your tears. He’ll still call you lovely especially with your teary green eyes. Yeah, He’s madly in love with you and He delights in you.

FaithBarista_Jam

Playing in the Puddles

Are you ready for a triple shot of real? If not, then skip ahead to the weekend and come back after I’m done playing in the puddles…

Sometimes life feels like one big puddle where you start splashing around only to realize that the water’s gone up and over your boots.  That feeling? Not so pleasant.  For me, rejection sometimes feels like that.  I’m running along, playing, laughing, enjoying, only to be suddenly struck with some cold, wet reality.

In my first year of college, I found my boots flooded with dirty water.  I skated through first semester: made friends, studied extra hard, even met a boy. Come January, I found myself participating in rush. Why? Good question. I’m not a sorority girl and I knew that. But that was the thing to do on a campus with probably 90% of the students in a sorority or fraternity. So, I followed suit. Problem number one…

The thing that they never tell you is that some girls…don’t make the cut. I was one of those. After parading around campus going to the different houses for little get to know you parties, each house makes a list of those they ask back. These girls I didn’t know. These girls I met for one night. Slashed my name off the list of “wanted.” And, yeah, those cold waters pierced my skin in a not so pleasant way.

Except, the amazing part? God turns things around. I can still feel the sunshine, the crunch of grass beneath a blanket covered in books and my pink Bible laid open.  See, I used all this extra time to soak up and wrestle with God instead of running around with a sorority. He brought me  further along in the journey of learning how to turn toward Him instead of clutching some of my idols (success, money, my plans). He started me on a continual journey of learning to look to Him for who I am rather than what others say because then I can play in the puddles and if the water comes rushing, I will not be shaken.  Because see, He wants me, I’m on His list, and in the end…I am His delight.

Ready to put on your rain boots and go play in some puddles with me?

Because I know that I don’t want to miss out on some fun because of the fear of getting wet…do you?

*prompted to serve up a shot of faith by the Faith Barista 🙂