Marathon + Africa Love + Home

I love how God works things out. I do.  I sat here thinking how am I going to write a post that shows my heart and offers an opportunity and in the midst of my writing I realized that it’s Friday, which means I get to link up with The Gypsy Mama. Love that…and then I found out what the prompt was and how perfect it fit in with everything.  I was going to do two posts, but they connect together so…here goes… Five minutes on….

HOME

There’s a place I call home. There’s a place I find my heart and mind wandering to all the time. I can’t seem to get her out of my heart. I thought once some things settled the ache would go away, but it intensified. I thought I could go and then continue on my life as before.

My life got interrupted.

My heart changed.

My eyes opened.

I still see her sunrises and sunsets. The stripes of the zebras and the elegance of the giraffe.  The power of the lion and the ugly baby wildebeasts.  The dirt paths that took my feet running up and down hills at the foot of mountains that caught my breath.

The people who stole my heart. The babies that fought for their lives. The little ones who lost parents.  The park filled with children. The place where I put a name and a face to the statistics about AIDs, rape, and poverty. The joy unspeakable mixed with a hope for a different future.

You can take the girl out of Africa, but you can’t take Africa out of the girl’s heart.

She’s still home.

Tomorrow I run. I run for God. I run for Africa.

26.2 miles.

STOP

 

Now here’s the fun part.

You can catch the vision too.

Not only will I have Africa on my shirt, Sesotho on my wrist, stories in my heart, and prayers on my lips for Africa for 26.2 miles, but I also am going to be intentional and strategic about giving.

I’m still being the persistent widow who keeps asking God for a chance to put my feet back on African ground, but until then I’ll be like the other widow in the bible who gave abundantly and cheerfully.

I’d love for you to partner with me and send a little love and encouragement both my way and Africa’s way…maybe you can give $2.62 or $26.20 or $262.0 or $2,620 or maybe you can commit to pray for a 2.62 minutes or 26.2 minutes or 2 days or really however long or much God puts on your heart.  He knows, you know.

If you’d like to join me in blessing and giving to Ignite South Africa as they tangibly pour out love into the communities where I found home then follow this link and you can give online.

 

deep breath…of hope

Hope

I breathe her in and start with just a little taste.  She seems familiar, but it’s been so long since I’ve tasted her goodness. I thought I didn’t want her hanging around, but then I slowly started letting her come back to play.  Once I started boldly and consistently confessing trust, there she was.  She showed up with her bright sun rays and dancing laughter.  She wanted me to come dream with her.    

Now, with trust, I’m un-digging my heels and stopping my tantrum to learn even more about trusting fully, but hope? That just seems a bit…risky.

Except the funny thing about hope is that she sneaks up on you.  You start trusting God with those heart desires and next thing you know hope has blossomed.  Deserts into Eden.  A beauty in the waiting with hope and anticipation.  A face set on His best no matter what it looks like.  So, I breathe her in deep even though it’s not what I intended.  A deep breath of resting and enjoying…the Gardener who is making my deserts oh so beautiful. 

Come play along with the 5 minutes of free writing on “Deep Breath.”

What are you breathing deeply lately? What are you hopeful for?

the icee that you can’t get open…

I’m the first grader with a juice icee in my hands.  Now, my Papa has already asked me if He could open it for me and reminded me to “not go out in haste.”  But…I see that the little side says, “tear here.” So, of course, I try to tear it and open it.  I try to do it by myself and make things work out how I think they should go.

After a few failures and a painful wound on my hand from trying to work it out, I give up.  I finally lift my head and realize instead of disappointment He is SO excited that I’ve turned back to Him to let Him work it out.  With a lot of hope and a smile I can’t keep back, I see that He is opening the icee.  I gleefully grab the deliciousness back and start to taste of its awesome, amazing goodness.

Only to realize that…wait. I can’t push the icee up all the way.  Part of the wrapper is still stubbornly holding together.  This good gift seemingly is taken away and with it goes my excitement, joy, and hope.  Instead of realizing that oh hey there’s just more work to be done in me and in this good gift, I stubbornly hold tightly to it and pout about how this sure isn’t the life I want.  I didn’t want a taste and then a rude snatching away.  I didn’t want a gift that hurt me.  I half try to throw the icee on the table because I don’t even know if I want it anymore. I don’t know if I even want to hope for it anymore.  But it sits there. Staring at me, taunting me.  Not to mention that it sure seems everywhere I look the other kids are happily eating their icees.  I throw my little fit and get mad that He would do this to me.

He listens. He catches my tears. He asks for the icee back and eventually…I’m good at throwing fits….I throw my hands up in the air and let go of the icee exlaiming, “Okay, I trust you. Whether I get that icee or I get cheesecake from the Cheesecake factory or I get oreos or I get water. I don’t deserve anything and even the air I breathe is a gift.  I trust that you know what I need, when I need it, and that You are for me. You give only good gifts and You give abundantly.  Plus, You know the perfect timing. But, please, help me keep giving it back when I try to pick it up again…”

With my hands empty of nothing but Him, I find it’s a little easier to receive, to hope, to embrace my place, to smile even in the rain…

Next time…I just need to let go a little sooner.

my saturday song: light up the world

i’m gonna believe that we will see the kingdom come to earth.

i’m gonna believe that signs and wonders follow hearts that burn.

i’m gonna believe that sickness and poverty will cease.

i’m gonna believe the power from the heavens will release

yeah light up the world with Your love

in the word wednesday

“Katy girl…as you continue to release, trusting in Him completely, you will be utterly amazed at what He will do with and through you.  You remind me of Esther. She waited, studied, questioned as she allowed herself to be prepared. When/As she walked into her destiny she gave all, trusting completely in God fully aware that even her life was at stake.  She allowed herself to be completely vulnerable and exposed…for such a time as this.  God will lead you to the very place He is even now preparing you for.”

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves.  Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16

Words stay with me.  Long after they have been spoken or written I carry them along.  Sometimes I really need to learn how to hit the delete button faster, but other times the words carry God-weighted goodness. The words above I’ve held in my heart for well over a year and still have the cute card.  God whispered words encouraging me along the way to trust, let go of the masks, and embrace the adventure even with the risks.  Whereas, the verse above is one that I am carrying, mulling it over, pondering it, holding it in my heart just since last week.  When it was spoken, I didn’t recognize the context and didn’t fully see the implication.

After reading Matthew 10, I held my breath.  Jesus called them each by name. Gave them a charge to go to the lost sheep.  Sent them among the wolves.  Gave them power to heal, cleanse, raise the dead, and cast out demons.  To freely give because they had freely received.  To love much because they had been forgiven much.  To endure to the end even while others hate them because of His name’s sake.  To remember how valuable they are and that God will take care of them.  To take up their cross.  To give to the little ones.  To teach and preach and be like the Teacher. To speak what is given to them by the Spirit of the Father.

With the verse came the charge and the  confidence that the armor (Ephesians 6) has been given for me to wear into this battle.  To be like Esther knowing full well that lives are at stake–not just mine–but to trust and walk forward in obedience confidently with Him.  While knowing that He has a purpose for such a time as this as well a time for preparation and becoming…wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove.

 

 

delight in Him…he will bring it to pass

when i find my heart and my head traveling

all sorts of ways and paths

questions and dreams

pouring out hope

i rest

my heart settles

into His loving arms

i trust that knowing Him is better

that He will have His way and bring it to pass

put off my rags and clothed me with gladness

1446. walking and talking

1454. softball hits!

1458. changing the station to christian music

1470. hearing the birds in the morning while watching the sunrise

1480. worship at a wedding

1484. watching the storm roll in and even seeing some hail

1488. the smell of rosemary on biscuits

1489. lovely sunday with my church family

1491. a surprise present(the africa picture frame!) at church that made my heart soar

1492. little girls running up to give me hugs

1495. getting lost in worship

1500. hitting send

I’m still counting it all joy and thanking God….where have you seen or found joy?

A Few of My Happy Places

My bed…so many pillows and blankets and things (usually not this neat, but rather covered with books, bags, mittens, random things). it’s one of those places you just sink into, curl up and feel right.

walking on the beach (florida, cape town, anywhere really)

my porch in africa or on one of the mountains and well africa in general

Lindo on my shouldersDriving in a car with big sunglasses on, windows down, music up loud

So, there are a few of my happy places. There are many more…but that’s a start. 🙂

What about you? Where’s your happy place/s? Do you have a favorite place? (I don’t do favorites!).

*Check out other happy places at The Gypsy Mama’s

right now

i have a hard time asking for help and asking hard questions that i have

i miss community

i see my new toms and that makes my heart happy.

i hear closer to love by mat kearny: “praying Lord come through”

your turn! fill in the blank:

i have a hard time ________

i miss _______

i see ________

i hear_______

UP for some Real Me?

I lived in Africa for a year as many of you may know.  While there, I met this amazing girly who I absolutely love and we now have skype dates on Saturday that seriously make my week.  But, see, here’s the thing.  She doesn’t like movies. Like at all. And she rubbed off on me.

I have yet to go to a movie theater since being back in the States, shame, eh? I did thoroughly enjoy Earth from Red Box and would be so incredibly happy to own that entire DVD series.  My “bonding time” with my mama over “The Bachelor” is just about as poppy as I get when it comes to this stuff.

All of that to say that yesterday, I watched a movie after I went on my long run (and yes, we were friends!).  Remember how I told you that I ran 16.1k, well, that was on the docket again for this week.  Though, this time I ran outside (woot! woot! love me some warm(er) weather and running tights and wearing mittens to carry things) and listened to a whole jumble of worship songs*.  Plus, I improved my time!

Despite my speedy running and motivation to attempt to arrive on time, I didn’t…plus, when I got there I stopped and chatted for a bit with the pastor’s wife (love her and hey! relationships matter! and yes…still working on the time thing).  Thankfully, my friends (yes, I’ve been home long enough to even make “friends”) usually extend an extra big dose of grace. Hey, they must be friends if they’re already learning to not let me get away with my answers that aren’t answers (aka indecision) by helping me commit and they put up with my half inviting myself by saying that I so want/need to see said movie they are talking about watching.

By now, you must REALLY be wondering (or you’ve given up on this long post–usually I dislike long posts greatly and even spent time trying to make this shorter, but there’s just too much fun stuff to share….) what movie I would want/need to see….dun dun dun… UP.  Confession: the main reason I wanted to see this movie was because another fabulous girly I met in Africa watched this movie on the plane ride home (I fell asleep..I do that often especially during movies) and told me about an absolutely gut-wrenching line that simply made us BOTH teary eyed or should I say bawling (oh, side note: my eyes turn an amazingly gorgeous green when I cry)…as if we weren’t already since we were leaving “home.”  Today, I didn’t cry nearly as much as I would have if I had watched it then…I only got teary eyed and missed my people and my home.  All because of a few lines:

“It might sound boring, but the boring stuff I remember the most.”

“Thanks for the adventure, now go have a new one.”

Congrats to you if you made it this far!  So, your turn: have you seen UP? do you run on africa time?  do you like movies? tell me something I don’t know.

*Running Playlist for the day: Battlefield by Jordin Sparks, Everything Falls by Fee, More Like Falling in Love by Jason Gray, Rain it Down by Carlos Whittaker, There’s Only One by Caedmon’s Call, How He Loves by Kim Walker, This Day by Audio Adrenaline, You Said by Shane and Shane, Let My Love Open the Door by Audio Adrenaline, Glory to God Forever by Fee, This Could Be Our Day by Addison Road, God of Wonders by Third Day, Show Me Your Glory by Third Day, From the Inside Out by Hillson, Tomalo by Hillsong, Not Enough by Caedmon’s Call, Madly by Steve Fee, All We Need by Charlie Hall,