Hello 2014

 

Open hands. Open heart. Open eyes. Open ears.  This year that has just begun feels like it will be full of opportunities, open doors, and open road adventure.  I thought I would hide out in God’s goodness, but He led me instead to be open. There is so much mystery and unknown coming this year.  So many things that will shake my world in ways that I cannot predict.  Sometimes we can prepare and prepare and prepare, but in the end, we need to be open to embracing the situations and circumstances thrown our way in the best way possible. Thankfully, while being open, I can rest in knowing that God knows.  He sees.  He’s gone before me and He’s prepared the way.  He already knows the doors I will need to pry open and the ones that I need to find.  He knows the open windows that will bring in the fresh breath of air when I’m drowning.  There’s beauty to be found this year.  Being open requires new levels and a depth of vulnerability, truth, authenticity, transparency, willingness, and courage.  So, 2014. I’m here. Ready and open.

Let the weight of your glory come and settle on us now

We stand in awe for you are holy and your kindness overwhelms

Be lifted up you heavenly gates

Be opened wide you ancient doors.

Open to opportunities.    Open to rebuke and criticism.    Open to change.      Open to serve.     

Opening my home.        Open to deeper friendships.       Open to others.         Open to move or stay. 

Open to adventure.     Open to risk.    Open to vulnerability.       Open to truth.         Open to love.

Open to God.

right here, right now…joy.

hello week. good-bye weekend. i feel like i need another weekend. seriously i’m finding that the days and weeks keep going faster and faster. before long…i’ll be old 😉 i feel like a happy broken record coming here each week and saying that joy is everywhere and that i feel so….loved. joyful. at peace. excited. at home. seriously, y’all (i’m not southern but i just felt like saying that), God is so very faithful. months ago, one of my intern people told me about how when he was praying for me that he saw a book where i needed to focus on the page at hand rather than look ahead to the end. i think i’m finally starting to live like that and trust God like that. saying hello to the new adventure right here, right now and not trying to make another adventure happen on my own.  so, without further ado, here are some snapshots of joy…

816. knowing that people have my back

830. more swings, more swings (cute little kiddos on the playground)

871. eating brownies with a spoon from the pan with my people

876. melting into peace

879. moments where my heart stops in a good way

880. memories i want to hold onto

888. closing my eyes to soak up the moment

908. bananagrams and cribbage and laughing and fabulous people

938. watching life!

and before you run off…don’t forget to comment because it makes my heart happy to hear from you all! did you watch life? what was the highlight of your week? anything I can be praying for you about?

p.s. i’m SO close to 1000 gifts. 🙂

 

My Ways or His Ways?

Sometimes I find that my perception of God needs a bit of alteration.  I find that I am not consistent in my thinking or that I bought into something that shouts that I’m stuck on my ways instead of seeing them as His ways.

Example One: I found a prayer in one of my journals that asked God to protect me from deception.  And at first, I was like, uh….what!? where were you God–why didn’t you step in and intervene and save the day? Except, the kicker here is that I wanted Him to intervene so that things would turn out how I wanted them.  He DID protect me by allowing others to step in and walk with me. Things just looked different.

Example Two: I keep wanting to put lists, rules, and lines in areas of my life.  But, then, I’m reminded…He wants me to fall in love with Him in such a way that life no longer feels like a list of do’s and don’ts but a crazy madly love that permeates all that I do to where each and every moment translates into an all relying on Him adventure both with Him and others!

Example Three: I found myself verbalizing frustration over waiting on God’s timing…yeah, sometimes I get frustrated.  But, see, I kept thinking of Him as almost teasing or just not wanting to give me want I want.  Though, really, no! That’s not it at all. He wants to wait to give me that amazing delicious tasting satisfying falafel instead of letting me settle for some not so tasty cheeseburger…

How about you? Do you need to adjust or alter some areas you translate your ways as God’s ways?

UP for some Real Me?

I lived in Africa for a year as many of you may know.  While there, I met this amazing girly who I absolutely love and we now have skype dates on Saturday that seriously make my week.  But, see, here’s the thing.  She doesn’t like movies. Like at all. And she rubbed off on me.

I have yet to go to a movie theater since being back in the States, shame, eh? I did thoroughly enjoy Earth from Red Box and would be so incredibly happy to own that entire DVD series.  My “bonding time” with my mama over “The Bachelor” is just about as poppy as I get when it comes to this stuff.

All of that to say that yesterday, I watched a movie after I went on my long run (and yes, we were friends!).  Remember how I told you that I ran 16.1k, well, that was on the docket again for this week.  Though, this time I ran outside (woot! woot! love me some warm(er) weather and running tights and wearing mittens to carry things) and listened to a whole jumble of worship songs*.  Plus, I improved my time!

Despite my speedy running and motivation to attempt to arrive on time, I didn’t…plus, when I got there I stopped and chatted for a bit with the pastor’s wife (love her and hey! relationships matter! and yes…still working on the time thing).  Thankfully, my friends (yes, I’ve been home long enough to even make “friends”) usually extend an extra big dose of grace. Hey, they must be friends if they’re already learning to not let me get away with my answers that aren’t answers (aka indecision) by helping me commit and they put up with my half inviting myself by saying that I so want/need to see said movie they are talking about watching.

By now, you must REALLY be wondering (or you’ve given up on this long post–usually I dislike long posts greatly and even spent time trying to make this shorter, but there’s just too much fun stuff to share….) what movie I would want/need to see….dun dun dun… UP.  Confession: the main reason I wanted to see this movie was because another fabulous girly I met in Africa watched this movie on the plane ride home (I fell asleep..I do that often especially during movies) and told me about an absolutely gut-wrenching line that simply made us BOTH teary eyed or should I say bawling (oh, side note: my eyes turn an amazingly gorgeous green when I cry)…as if we weren’t already since we were leaving “home.”  Today, I didn’t cry nearly as much as I would have if I had watched it then…I only got teary eyed and missed my people and my home.  All because of a few lines:

“It might sound boring, but the boring stuff I remember the most.”

“Thanks for the adventure, now go have a new one.”

Congrats to you if you made it this far!  So, your turn: have you seen UP? do you run on africa time?  do you like movies? tell me something I don’t know.

*Running Playlist for the day: Battlefield by Jordin Sparks, Everything Falls by Fee, More Like Falling in Love by Jason Gray, Rain it Down by Carlos Whittaker, There’s Only One by Caedmon’s Call, How He Loves by Kim Walker, This Day by Audio Adrenaline, You Said by Shane and Shane, Let My Love Open the Door by Audio Adrenaline, Glory to God Forever by Fee, This Could Be Our Day by Addison Road, God of Wonders by Third Day, Show Me Your Glory by Third Day, From the Inside Out by Hillson, Tomalo by Hillsong, Not Enough by Caedmon’s Call, Madly by Steve Fee, All We Need by Charlie Hall,

Set Your Eyes

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:2-3

A Little Climbing Adventure with Matt and Jen

Determined to find a way up the rock, I forged through bushes and trees.  I found myself standing on a little tree trying to pull myself up and over.  I could see the footholds and handholds clearly before me.  The way was set.  Yet, I hesitated.  I attempted, but lost my footing and thought I might not quite possess enough upper body strength with slippery footholds.  Discouraged, I tried again.  I talked myself out of a third attempt and fought back through the tangled mess I came through.  We almost moved on to another rock until Matt saw that another way looked promising.  With the sting of defeat fresh on my mind, I pushed forward through more brush.  My legs regretting the choice of my green shorts the entire way.  Whacking a few branches, getting hit in the face with one, and crawling under a tree culminated in being able to step and jump onto the rock quite easily.  Eventually, all three of us made our way to the top of the rock only to find an amazing crevice on the backside.  Of course, Matt decides to go down this way instead of going back the way we came. He gets down fairly easily and then asks us to come down.  I whip out the “Are you kidding me? Do you know how far of a drop that is?” look and then proceed to stare down not moving.  Then Jen out of nowhere decides to go down.  I’m still skeptical even after she gets down.  Yet, at this point, I’m the only one left.  I have scared myself by staring at the obstacles to either side rather than focusing on the rock.  Eventually, I make a decision to focus on each step in front of me rather than looking down.  I get down only to wonder why I ever worried about the drop.  If I had focused on the things to the side instead of the steps I needed to take in front of me, I would have missed out on exploring the crevice like cave and finding a new way out with the encouragement as well as help of those with me.

Oftentimes, I act this way with God.  I see all the big scary “what-ifs” rather than focusing on Him and the steps I need to take each day.  I look too far ahead only to scare myself.  I discredit the voices around me or worse yet refuse their help and encouragement.  Though, as I said here, I’m learning to trust all over again and I’m waiting.  Waiting, trusting and resting in Him.

Waiting

Wait for the Lord,

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord

Psalm 27:14

I make plans. I conjure up ideas in my head about what I want to do today, tomorrow, five years from now. I am flexible, yes, but I still make plans and roll with the changes as they come.  I play out the what-if game in my head and toy with all sorts of ideas.  Yet, right now, I find myself in a place that takes me out of my comfort zone.  I am learning to wait.  I am learning to let go of my plans to seek Him.  I am waiting for guidance. I am digging deep and holding His hand.  I am learning to love the uncertainty. I am learning to trust all over again. I am terrified yet my heart is happy.  I am taking a step out onto the water. I am ready for a little excitement, adventure, and risk.

A Smattering

“It’s not that you’re doubting that God can do something. You believe in your heart that God can do something.  You just don’t want to accept his timing.  We accept his strength. We don’t want to accept his calendar.” –Pete Wilson

“I tend to live the way that I drive. I’m going to get from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time and by the easiest route possible, but I’ve come to realize that getting where God wants me to go isn’t nearly as important as becoming who God wants me to become in the process and God seems far less concerned with where I’m going than with who I’m becoming.” –Mark Batterson

What do you need to trust God’s timing with today?

Where are you impatient in God’s timing?

Even now, I find myself straining toward the future.  Toward the next great adventure.  Toward wherever I go next.  Yet, the call is to live in the present.  To be fully present. Right here. Today.  Not living tomorrow. Not looking back, but embracing the now.  Fixing my eyes ahead and putting my hand to the plow.  The road will be tough but He will be right beside me.

“You can’t have it both ways.  You can’t put your hands to the plow and then take a break from the plow and do something else.  If you follow me, you stay on that plow.  There’s no looking back.” –Andy O’Rourke “The Road of Discipleship” Luke 9:57-62.

Life

“Everyone I’ve met carries with them a picture of what they want life to be. This picture may be well defined…”I want to get married, have 2.5 children, live in this neighborhood…” or it may an unconscious picture that drives their decision-making. I believe that God asks us to give up the picture. Not because there is something wrong with it but because He has something else in mind. This is where the rub is. Most often we don’t trust Him to give us a life that is better than the one we dream up for ourselves. Jesus said in Luke 9:24 & 25, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” Let go of your picture so you can enter the adventure that God has for you!”

-ht: Fridays

In Awe

I wanted to let you all know that the interview this morning went REALLY well and I am so thankful for all the prayers and thoughts.  I’ll know more details in a couple of days, but I anticipate some exciting and “rock my world” kind of announcements soon!  

Thrive Africa

Ever since starting to read this blog, I’ve been thinking about missions, adventures, where God has called me, and how that looks.  Little did I know, that this post had been written a couple of weeks ago and that a follow-up post would be written for me to read today.  All of that translates to: PRAY for me 🙂