my kind of afternoon…

When the weather hits above 30, you better believe I’m giddy.  Not to mention that I get done at 3:00 p.m. with one of my lovely jobs.  So what do I do?

Throw on a few layers, grab my ipod, my camera, mittens for carrying things, and head out.  Even though I already ran this morning (holla marathon training!), I just had to run/walk.  I’ve missed it SO much in these ridiculous -40 temperatures. It’s my sweet spot.  My oh hey there God let’s go play and soak up some time together.

My: “Words can never say the way He says my name. He calls me lovely. No one ever sees the way He looks at me. Heaven holds me. You would not believe the way He touches me. He burns right through me.”

And that is a perfect afternoon for a snowy February day.

what Someone says about dating

The prompt: “What I wish someone had told me about dating.”

Me: I sit here on my bed with my Basotho blanket and I’m wide awake because I’ve just finished a night full of love and life. And I come to write a neat little post because I love to write. Putting words on a screen or a page. Though, I daresay that little prompt up there taunts me a little. Can I confess that I feel…inadequate. Sure, I have things I see now. Patterns that need to be stopped. Heart hurts still healing. Dating stories filled with tears, laughter, questions. But…I sit here. a quarter old. and my bed is empty. my arms are empty. And sure, to the world, that spells out f.a.i.l.u.r.e. But to Him…He leads me back to these parts of Isaiah 62:

Until her righteousness goes forth like brightness,
And her salvation like a torch that is burning…

And you will be called by a new name

You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,”
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”;
But you will be called, “Hephzibah (My delight is in her),”
And your land, “Married”;
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married.

At that, my heart soars and the tears on my cheeks twist into love instead of hurt. He gave me this verse. He overwhelmed my heart.  He brought me back to it time and again.

And so here’s what I hear when I quiet my heart to hear from Someone about dating:

You’re already married to me, babe.  I am the Lord Your God and I delight in you.  No longer do you need to search in vain trying to fill yourself up with food or running or boys that try to be men.  I am first in Your life.  I give you everything you need. Every good and perfect gift comes from me.  So, dear heart, wait on Me and let me bless you abundantly because I delight in you.  I am for you.  I am the God who sees you.  You are not desolate or forsaken.  You are beloved, my shining beauty.  Like a brilliant gem in my crown.  You, my delight, are wonderfully made.  I am ever patiently working all things out for your good.  So, curl up and rest in my love.

Hephzibah “My delight is in her”

I Can’t Believe This is My Job

Way back in November, I set out to create a personal board that just spoke to parts of my heart that I wanted to see and to put into pictures the direction I want to head.  When looking through the magazines, this quote struck a chord in my heart strings…

“I want to make it great because I can’t believe this is my job.”

I hadn’t really thought about it for a while.  I’ve been just doing life.  Except then today as I drove away from an afternoon/night filled with dreaming and planning…I sat in my car and thought: “Wow. I really can’t believe that this is my job!” Granted, I have more than one job, but still (insert: I need to learn to prioritize and force myself to STOP working!).  But I love that I leave work pumped and just plain excited about so much. So filled and overflowing.

Now to clarify, there are so so so many reasons why I want to make it great. Mostly Him. Well it’s all about Him.  That’s the melody of my life. And that all just flows back into the awe and thankfulness and praise and love and overwhelmed goodness that I feel as I sit at His feet and rest in knowing that He really does see me. A deep, knowing intimately kind of see.

p.s. how many jobs mean you get to play on photobooth? love it…

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What fills you up? Do you have a dream job?

 

still

surprised by a love note…

written in the sky:

see that cross? yep. it’s beautiful. a sunrise and a love note on my way to church on sunday.

between the picture above and the song below playing, god folded me into His loving arms.

grace flows down.

it covers me.

all my sin.

covers my heart.

thank you jesus.

happy

I ended 2010 and started 2011 with this lovely girly!  I should have met her in Africa and we should have been roomies in Africa together, but life is messy.  Though, I will say that all the change of plans meant that I got to give her a big hug sooner rather than later!  She puts up with my never-ending questions, challenges my heart to dig deeper, shows me when I’m being illogical, teaches me about boundaries, encourages me, shares her heart, and walks with me from afar.  I can’t help but see the beauty from the ashes in our friendship.  My heart so wishes that it could have happened differently, but I am still thankful.  Thankful that I turned to find a friend who could relate while all of our Thrive Africa dreams washed away as God showed us that things would be different.  A little getaway to DC turned into a perfect way to finally love on each other in person complete with starbucks,  site seeing, car rides, risking, trusting, blogging, tweets, food, laughing, Africa style prayer, processing, Nando’s, hugs, and a new year.  All of that equals lovely and happy.

How did you start the new year?

2010 photo love

Somewhere along the way in the last few years I started categorizing my photos by what month they were taken…so without further ado here are the photos and a few posts that sum up each month!In January, I started off thinking I could run outside…the snow was beautiful with sunshine, but WAY cold! I said hello to subbing in the schools and to a new church.

In February, I fell in love with *my* tree. I still frequently drive by and try not to look too crazy taking pictures of it and I thought about why I write…

In March, I colored…and so didn’t know how true this quote would be throughout the year: “God wants to take us to places we can’t get to by ourselves, but we will never get there if we hold onto where we are.”

In April, I got my dog to take cute pictures with me even while I veered on the path.

In May, I looked cute even though my heart hurt for Africa and so much more…

In June, I held tightly to faith and peace as I stood up for myself and learned to say no…

In July, I celebrated weddings, played softball, loved on kiddos during VBS, and found myself loving well.

In August, my heart burst with joy at kids camp, as I finished a triathlon, and as I accepted a staff position at Thrive Africa.

In September, I marked a year and wore the shoes risking to share the joy of a testimony amidst a heart break…

In October, my heart broke again in a new way as I learned Thrive Africa was closing…

In November, I camped out at REI, drank Starbucks, saw God provide and bring joy in unexpected ways all while finishing bible sprinting full of  “yes ands“.

In December, I dressed up and wore mascara even when the tears fell, I took a deep breath while taking the steps before me, started a journey toward learning boundaries, and found myself in awe at how God orchestrated so many details to bring together the things that I love.

p.s. 2011…you’re coming awfully fast.

 

teacups and love

since i’m in the mood here’s a little picture fun….

my lovely tea cups from my church’s teacup & cookie exchange. the red one is from this year and the blue and white is from 2009. i love a little competition and opening presents. though, i must say i get so indecisive and stressed about what one to pick when it’s my turn!

cute cute hat that i got for my birthday from a dear friend for my birthday

my little man holding my sunglasses and being all cute. love him and love the randomness of this picture.

someday. hopefully soon. i will own a papasan chair. i don’t know what the cushion will be like yet, but it will be grand and i will curl up in it and read my bible. i might just even put it in my office.

speaking of bibles…i am quite seriously pondering buying the maxwell leadership bible so that i can use it for the little 6 month chronological read through (starting january 15th!! more details to come…but you should ponder and then totally join me and others in it!). any thoughts on it or bible versions?

ohhh and speaking of doing the chronological read through…did you know that i’m PUMPED to go see my lovely friend who did sprinting the bible in 90 days with me?! because, um, well, i am. so yes, this is going to be an amazing end to 2010 and hopefully starting 2011 off with a little sparkle.

and with 2010 coming to an end…so does my word for the year (joy).  well, not that it ends! but i get a new word for 2011. i’m a bit scared of my word but i just know god has BIG things in store and wants to use this word in an eye opening way…come back on 1/1/2011 for the official reveal. are you going to pick a word to focus on for the year?

p.s. it’s almost christmas =)

wordless wednesday

 

deeper still

For the Lord will comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places. And He will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song or instrument of praise. ~Isaiah 51:3

[She] is like a [woman] building a house, who dug and went down deep and laid a foundation upon the rock; and when a flood arose, the torrent broke against that house and could not shake or move it, because it had been securely built and founded on a rock. ~Luke 6:48

It was strong and beautiful, with wide-spreading branches, for its roots went deep into abundant water. ~Ezekiel 31:7

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O Lord, take me deeper still

the waters crash angrily

they slam against my walls

threatening to take me away in the flood

and my house still stands

we’ve built and yet

there’s more to build

so take me, take me to our secret place

strip me down

singe me with fire to burn away

all that is not of You

teach me to dig and dig and dig

I want deeper still

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I’m asking Him what this practically looks like for me. I’m asking where and how I can go deeper. I’ve gone wide. I’ve sprinted through the Bible and now I want to camp out and dig.  I want to sit in my questions and let them draw me closer to Him.  I know so far this means less distractions and more focus.  Less surface interaction and more investment in those who are let into the deeps of my heart.

So, dear ones, do share. How do you go deep? What does it look like? Any bits of wisdom to pass on down? Let’s learn from each other and dig deep.