Oh hey…

I’ve been rolling around with all sorts of posts in my head, but haven’t had the chance to sit down to write them out.  This week is a little crazy between work and other commitments.  We’re busy every night of this week except for Monday….then we get all the fun Easter-ness over the weekend!  So, we’re going to write a little “mind-dump” slash what’s up Wednesday.

finished….breaking free by beth moore! now to see what one to do next. any bible study suggestions?

finishing….tonight’s the last night of Wednesday services at church.  I’m excited to celebrate with the kids about all that they’ve learned and accomplished this year!

started….a bible study on luke, a fun new strength & weight lifting program, and a running program

starting…another book that my mom gave me called healing which is supposed to be fabulous and about plantation life.

read….sacred marriage

reading…bringing up boys, love & respect

standing out….the prodigal son story and how the father went out to the older brother

wanting…mountains and a trip to africa

eating….homemade oatmeal cream pies and mashed potatoes (not at the same time!)

baking…a cake for tonight

realizing…cleaning and taking out the garbage are both my least favorite chores

looking forward to….saturday with the husband and easter services to hear the music they’ve been working on so hard!

thinking about…the prophecy that was spoken over us on sunday.

thankful for…so many things but especially parents who lend us cars when crazy things happen like windshields shattering.

praising god for…encouragement and affirmation.

 

How about you? What’s up in your life?

 

Remember…

Friday! This week has passed me by in a busy, but good way.  Last week, I was able to write all sorts of posts and this week, I’m just stopping by for the first time.  So, here goes a little 5 minute friday writing.

Remember

my husband remembers so many things i don’t. he remembers what he was wearing when we went on our first date and our first non-date and all sorts of firsts. he remembers what i wore to sonshine.  he remembers what we have ordered at restaurants. he remembers the details, the images, the moments. as he stirs up his own memories, he tells me the stories and i’m right there with him remembering and savoring the times we’ve had together.  he’ll take me back to bible study back in 2010 when we’d banter back and forth.  he’ll transport me to sri lanka when i made him wear a clown costume. he’ll tease me about how he saw me looking at him while he was on stage playing drums before i promptly adverted my eyes.  i love the rich and varied memories we have together. we may not have dated ever since i got back from africa, but he’s always been there and he’s often been the one i’ve looked to for support…whether it was to make a plinko board for the harvest party or to lead the preschoolers with drums or to offer to get my car in the rain or to scrap off the snow from my car. sometimes remembering helps make today even sweeter. i can’t wait to see what i’ll remember in the years to come. or i should say that i can’t wait to hear what he remembers.

Friday Fun

Let’s do this.  5 minutes of free writing with no pressure, no edits, no rules, and just plain fun.

Today’s topic:

Rest

I sneak over to his side of the bed after he’s snuck out to shower.  My sleepy brain is still in complete sleep mode.  When he comes back, he prays over me for my day and I mumble a prayer back.  Though, let’s be honest, I can’t say for sure that what I said was all that great.  I do remember how he made fun of me because my words were messed up and then I joked back with him that God was going to smite him because he was making fun of my prayer.  He played right along with my sleepy state.  When the nights are long and work schedules are late, I find myself needing so much more rest than I’d like.  I grumble about how I used to get up at 4 something or 5 something.  He gently reminds me that I also used to start work at 6.  Work starts at 3pm now and that definitely causes a shift.  He’s ever full of grace for my sleepy, restful state and I’m humbled.  Rest for the soul. A place to rest my heart. Rest for my body.  Saturday, come quickly, I’m ready for a day of rest.

Money Money Money

My husband the other day was talking about how he had read a devotional about the four money languages.  I had heard about these before, but couldn’t remember them so I promptly looked them up on google and found this fun video.  We both could identify our money languages and could see traces of our secondary languages as well.

Here’s the line that I identified with most:

“We can take that trip. We can buy pizza!”

Amiable it is!  Pretty sure I’ve been known to say, “Hey! We have unallocated funds [funds not put in the budget yet]….let’s go buy something fun!” Not to mention that the last time we had unallocated cash on hand, I ended up going and buying all sorts of food for people.  Hello, money means love =) Plus, gifts is one of my top love languages.

Ryan on the other hand…well, he’s an analytic and…”Money means security.”  He’s been known to have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting in the bank. Handy, though, when it comes time that he wants to do something with it like buy a wedding ring or go to Sri Lanka or head to Norway for a few months.

Thankfully, I have some analytic in me too and he’s willing to spend on experiences, which helps us be on the same page money wise and we’re Dave Ramsey fans.

How about you? Are you a driver, amiable, analytic, or expressive?

What’s Up Wednesday

hearing Boaz crunch on an apple that I deemed too old for me to eat

seeing the book of Luke and my DSM book

thinking that I’m ready for spring and to be able to go outside!

doing bible reading, breaking free, and a final exam

looking forward to seeing sigur ros, going to virginia, and planning another vacay

feeling content and happy to have Boaz home

touching the wooden chairs my grandmother made

missing africa and friends

thankful for being able to sleep in, cereal, pretty wedding pictures, marriage, friends, sunlight, mountains

excited about going to the mountains again

coming up easter, spring, and ally & levi coming home!

something old the shorts i’m wearing that i love

something new a super soft liberty sweatshirt that i got for free

something blue Boaz’s chew toy

3 months and counting

3 super happy months of being married! woot! in celebration, I went through our wedding pictures and honeymoon pictures to finally post them on facebook.  if we’re friends, you can look at them here. made me totally want to do the whole day over again and to run off to the mountains and the beach like now. but instead, i’ll make a list of all the fun things i love about life right where i’m at! in no particular order here are 12 things for the 12th.

1. being married

2. my awesome husband

3. my adorable dog Boaz who loves me

4. my church family.

5. a wonderful place to live that is warm even though it’s still cold outside

6. traveling to look forward to in the future

7. friends’ super cute babies

8. being able to e-mail and text best friends

9. being able to cook all sorts of deliciousness

10.  pinterest boards of lovely things

11. books to read and time to read them

12. mornings spent with god reading the bible and doing the breaking free bible study

What are you loving about your life right now?

Learning to Deal with Disappointment

How you learn to manage your disappointments in your life will determine your destiny.

-Christine Caine

Disappointments come all around us in life.  They start coming even when we’re little.  When the friend chooses someone else to share her cookie with that day or when we don’t get to go on a class trip or when we miss out on getting the most amazing new toy ever.  Sometimes we’ll pout and throw our fits.  Other times we’ll get mean and say some angry words because at the core, we’re hurt.

 Then we get a little older and well, the disappointments don’t stop coming.  The little disappointments are still there like missing out on getting a cute new Starbucks mug because they sold out or missing going to a store because it closed or someone else getting what we wanted.  “Bigger” things too can crush our fragile hearts like not getting picked for a job or watching a ministry close down or not being able to get pregnant or watching our plans change.  That’s when we might simply cry because we had a plan and now it’s going all wrong.  We’d prayed and prayed and things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

I started writing this post on December 12, 2011.  I had no clue on that day what God would do in my life and how different everything would be just a year later.  There’s the acknowledgement that if some of my disappointments hadn’t come, I wouldn’t be where I am today.  Yet, there’s also the acknowledgement that those disappointments were exactly that. A disappointment.  Something to feel, grieve, and walk out.  Even when good is worked out of a situation, it can still hurt.

But that’s where Christine Cain ever so convictingly reminds us that how we handle those disappointments will determine our destiny.  Will we stay in our hurt and in turn hurt those around us?  Will we thank and worship God even so?  Will we hold grudges and reject others because of our jealousy or hurt?  Will we choose faith or fear? How will we handle our disappointments?

Lord, I haven’t always handled my disappointments with grace and love….help me, teach me, and be with me as the disappointments keep coming so that I can handle them in a healthy, godly way that draws me closer to You.

home.

Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. er…write for as long and however your heart needs =)

home

i hide from this word sometimes because oh how it haunts me in a heartbreakingly raw way.  before i know it, i’m playing around with google looking up for ways to get myself home. checking flights and seeing prices. looking at pictures and wondering if when i get there if it’ll still be home.  will she still be the home i have in my heart?  i’ve changed so much since my feet last hit her ground.  my heart has traveled all over since then. i’ve found myself at the feet of fountains in rome and on the beaches of greece. i’ve walked the streets of london and sat in her theaters.  i’ve sat in staff meetings with staff i love.  i’ve careened around the streets of sri lanka.  i’ve zip lined through mexico.  i’ve laughed and loved my way through VBS and kids camps.  i’ve held the babes in rwanda.  i’ve found a man who holds my heart and is my other kind of home…the strong, steady, safe.  god’s brought me all the places i never thought i’d go. but then again i never thought i’d find myself in south africa in the first place. and i don’t know where He’ll bring me us next. maybe germany. maybe guatemala. maybe china. maybe back home to south africa (pretty please?).  maybe some country i’ve never even thought about.

Thinking it Through

Sometimes I’ll run across things that cause me to stop and think just for a moment longer or I’ll even let them roll around in my head for a while…here’s a smattering of what has been hitting my heart lately!

This post made me stop and ask what if we really did stop categorizing…if we opened the floodgates for open and frank conversations sprinkled with grace and love rather than full of judgment and labels.  What if we threw out the dirty water examples and started showing each other how to fall forward.  We all have our areas where we’ve fallen.  Whether it be greed or lust or gossip or anger.  Let’s put down the stones and start drawing in the sand forgiveness and love.

Heart-wrenching grief and love rolled into one gloriously messy post.

Words do cut deep. They echo for long after they’ve been said especially when they’re one of your top love languages.  I often try to rush the healing process and to skip past the tears.  I don’t honor my emotions easily.  I’ve learned that I need to and that God is ever gracious when I do.  I thought I had learned this, but I’m finding He’s teaching me all over again that I’m okay healing in my own time frame and in my own way.  Other people may not understand this, but that’s okay…not everyone knows my story and how it has made me, me.  Those that do know me, love me, and remind me that it’s okay…that I’m okay.

I dare you to love yourself. And I dare myself to take the same challenge.  To love how God has made each of us.

What if  _____? Will you fill in the blank with fear or faith?

I love the prodigal son story. I find myself as both the younger and the older son.  I’m one off running toward my dreams and plans only to find out that I’ve been deceived.  But I’m also the one staying put being obedient without ever knowing that my Father is ever there with abundant blessings.  Too often when I’m seeing the Father lavish His grace and love on others…I’m only asking for a small goat or sitting in the mundane every day not even looking or asking for Him.  Really. As if, my Jesus doesn’t pour out the love and good gifts on me way more than just a small goat…is my view of God really so small.  Let me ever learn to know Him more and more.

 

like a good Father you will take care.

You wrap yourself around every detail of my life.

cause i mean everything to You.

when i’m feeling that i’m falling apart…You hold me now

Day 1

Brought to you courtesy of the Writing Prompt Bootcamp….

Day 1

It’s time for you and Writer’s Block to part ways. Write a letter breaking up with Writer’s
Block, starting out with, “Dear Writer’s Block, it’s not you, it’s me …”

 

Dear Writing/Blogging Block,

It’s not you, it’s me.  You can keep your blank pages and your staring cursors.  White is a very pretty color on you.  I like other colors.  Greens and pinks and yellows.  I want the stark black of words to make these colors pop off the screen.  I’m a little tired of looking at white pages without life.  I’m ready for something new.  A new adventure sounds like a venture I’d like to embark on today.  I could wait until tomorrow, but you know what they say about always waiting until tomorrow…well, then there’s always another tomorrow to wait until.  So, today’s the day.  Plus, today is not even a Monday or the first of the month.  Nope, today is March 6th.  I’m beginning to think that 6’s are actually not bad days.  I started dating my now husband on the 6th. I’ll count that as a good sign.  So, writer’s block slash blogger’s block, you can go visit other friends who need a rest and a break from creativity because we all need to be silent at times and store up the words in our hearts.  I’m ready instead for a season of writing and sharing.  Thank you, though, for teaching me to not feel guilty about leaving pages blank.  Thank you for giving me grace when I needed to be silent.  Thank you for helping me find so much beyond this computer screen. With spring around the corner, I’m ready to bring new life to these blank pages that have been waiting for me.  Get ready.  Let’s see what it looks like to write free.

Love,

Katy Z