The Journal

I told you about our questions. Now, I’m going to tell you about our journal.  This might be one of my absolute favorite things.  I love love words in all forms and so getting love letters from my husband makes my day.  I stumbled across the list of questions and the journal all in one spot even!  After I got back from Greece, I had a journal stashed away that was plain and kind of boring compared to my normal bright, crazy, happy style.  I hadn’t used it and so I figured even though we are just dating it would be fun to start now.  I penned a few words, added the date, and stuck it in Ryan’s refrigerator   I waited and waited until then I happened to find that he’d returned the favor by hiding it for me.  This led to months of writing and hiding.  Tucked away in his lunch box, in a drawer, in the microwave, in the shower, hidden in the DVDs, in a backpack, in a cereal box, and all sorts of places.  Sometimes we’ll write serious and sometimes we’ll be silly.  This has been such a fun way to have something to look forward to and to communicate as well as encourage each other in a different way.  We put our first journal in our wedding box so we’re on our second already.  I can’t wait to see how many we go through over the years.  Oh and if you’re over at our house and happen to see a journal in a weird spot….I wouldn’t suggest opening it!

Have you ever tried this with your spouse or your kids or roommates? I think it would be so fun to have a family journal too someday!

 

beloved

 

five minutes tucked away on a friday to spend writing:

Beloved

you’ve wrapped me up in sweet words and you surprise me with the grace you’ve poured over my heart.  there you stay by my side forgiving and letting grace and love flow from your lips.  beloved, we had such fun yesterday being us and my oh my i’m so thankful that this year i can call you mine.  you are my beloved. i made a cake just in time for you to pound it out and help me cut it and put it together. we ate frosting out of the bowl and snuck strawberries.  we ate dessert before dinner. we laughed when our surprise plans collided and goodness we eat well. dessert and then enough delicious pasta to last a whole night of secret smiles.  you show me just how hard it can be to truly show just how much i love you which turns right around at me and humbles me by forcing me to look at the ways that i show love to you and to God.  i pray, beloved, that we would learn to love each other in a way that only stirs up more love for god than each other.

Weekly Questions

Yesterday, marked being married for 2 months already! I even got a surprise bag of white chocolate pretzels. I do love gifts and my husband too!  Marriage has quite a few perks!  One of the fun things that we’ve done both when we were dating and have continued to do now that we’re all old and married off has been ask weekly questions.  They can be one of my favorite times because right up next to gifts is words of affirmation for me.  These have evolved over the months and some became more relevant after getting married.  We’re still working out the bugs and figuring out what questions to modify or add in for us.  They’re a fun way to recap, get on the same page, and check-in before the start of a new week.

The original five came from this fun little blog.  We’ve debated about the order of the questions but here’s the original order:

1. How did you feel loved this past week?
2. What does your upcoming week look like?
3. How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead?
4. How would you best feel pursued in sex / intimacy this week? (this is the one we modified when we were dating and mostly left it off or talked about oh hey how are we doing in waiting to have sex until we’re married and how can I help you in that?)
5. How can I pray for you this week?

Beyond these questions, we recently wanted to add a few more…these are the ones we are trying out:

6. How are we doing spiritually? (i.e. how are you doing with reading your bible, are we praying together, are we reading the bible together, etc.)

7. What are you working on this week? (what area do you want to see changed this week or do you want to work on…i.e. get up earlier, go to bed early, plan ahead, etc.)

Then when searching for the blog above, I found a few other potential questions to ask:

8. Is there anything we would like to do differently this week than we did last week?

9. How can I better serve you this week?

10. What were your struggles this past week?

Here’s also some questions to ask periodically: 

1. How have the first X months of marriage compared with what you dreamed about or envisioned?
2. What are some of the things we need to acknowledge our thankfulness for in our first months of marriage?
3. What do you want to get better at as a wife or husband?
4. What do we want to get better at as a couple?
5. What are some of the dreams that you have as an individual? How can I help you reach them?
6. What are some of our dreams as a couple? How can we seek after them and surround ourselves with the right people?
7. What are some of our greatest blind spots as a couple?
8. In what ways do you feel like you’ve grown since we’ve gotten married?

There you go! How about you? Do you ask any other questions that I missed or have any other fun things that you love to do as a couple? 

The Little Things

Oh how I’m ever so thankful for so many little things that keep my eyes open to all the ways that the Lord is good and that the Lord is faithful.

1. books to make me think

2. bible studies to challenge my head and my heart

3. things to celebrate like babies and marriages. rejoicing with those who are rejoicing is ever so sweet.

4. being able to pray and pray and pray and pray some more.

5. people to text when i’m terrified

6. meals to make and people to share them with

7. a husband who says we’ll go to africa and encourages me when I question

5 Minute Friday

Internet has been sketchy here the last however long so I had this one sitting in the drafts and never got around to it….so I’m playing twice today =)

Friday’s come fast! Here comes another week to spend 5 minutes writing without editing….ek!

Afraid

I’m afraid I won’t be enough. I’m afraid of rejection. I’m afraid of not being perfect. I’m afraid of losing friends. I’m afraid of not being a good wife.  I’m afraid I’ll hear mean words again. I’m afraid others won’t forgive. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. I’m afraid I’ll be forgotten. I’m afraid I’ll waste my time. I’m afraid they’ll never change. I’m afraid I won’t change. I’m afraid I’ll be embarrassed. I’m afraid I’ll never have those babies. I’m afraid I’ll say something hurtful. I’m afraid it’ll hurt. I’m afraid. I’m scared.

Yes, I’m not always going to be enough. Yes, they may never be happy. Yes, I’ll probably be rejected. Yes, I might lose friends. Yes, they may wish I would do something different or be someone different. Yes, I likely won’t always be a good wife. Yes, I’ll probably be hurt by words. Yes, sometimes people won’t forgive me. Yes, I’ll probably say the wrong thing a time or two or thirty. Yes, I might even waste time. Yes, they might not change and I might have my own thorn in my side. Yes, I’m pretty sure I’ll be embarrassed. Yes, I might not have babies. Yes, I’m sure I will say hurtful things and need to apologize. Yes, it will hurt sometimes.

But God says…

I’m enough so you don’t have to be enough. I’m happy with you. I made you the way you are. I’ll provide you with all you need–including friends. You get to be the wife I made you to be and there’s grace and learning. I say kind words to you and sing over you with love when the words of others hurt. I’ve forgiven you. I’ll teach you to speak truth and love. I’ll show you what I want you to do and when to do it.  I’ve changed you and given you a new heart. I’m your protector and you don’t have to worry about others. I’ve got a plan. I’ll prompt you to apologize and humble yourself. I’ll bind up your wounds. I’ll be here. always.

BARE

Dear Jesus, come quickly. I’m broken down and laid open.  My heart is threadbare and my tears cover my face.  I’m terrified once again and I’m fighting back the urge to curl up in my bed away from it all.  Take me away and hide me in the curve of your arm and tuck me under the shelter of your wings.  Only in Your protection and love can I find the rest and peace my heart so desperately craves.  You’re the home I long for in the middle of the night.  I toss and turn in my bed at night dreaming of a place thousands of miles away.  You promised my heart screams out and I wait.  I wait in the crook of your precious faithfulness.  You won’t disappoint.  My timing has long since past, but I have learned to trust in Your holy name.  The King is here. He is here forever and for always.  His plans and purposes shall prevail.  He does not leave me naked and bare.  He binds up my broken heart.  He calls me His delight.  He sings over me with melodies sweet to my ear and precious to my heart.  He is faithful.  He’s been faithful and He’ll be faithful.  He’ll bring me back to the place that I find my dreams.  I may be bare and vulnerable before Him…but He’s good.