This whole only posting on Fridays seems to be a trend in November…so here we go again:
Grateful=Feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.
Thankful=Pleased and relieved. Expressing gratitude and relief.
Yesterday, I cried silent tears as I heard their voices. They said my name the way that South Africans do. They asked me again and again and again and again “When are you coming back?” They told me about how they loved the package I sent and that Dan, the father, said he would love some clothes next time if I have brothers. They told me about how Itumelang passed her classes and wants to come back to America with me next time and is looking for a job. When I asked her what kind of job, she said “A job. Any job.” I sat there thinking oh my any job…Lord, forgive me for my ungrateful heart. Teach me to be grateful. I didn’t get to talk to him…I didn’t get to talk to the little boy that I am ever so grateful for and the one who started this love affair with this family. He was sleeping. Yet, as my heart melted into a puddle, I couldn’t help but end the conversation thinking about how much I love them and yet that’s not anywhere close to how much God loves us. I don’t get it. I don’t grasp it. All too often I dismiss the love and think “No…it must not be for me…it’s for them…for them I can believe all day about how much God loves them.” But, He does. No matter what I do. Even today, as God and I spend our time wrestling in ways that evoke joy mixed with tears, He loves me. He meets me here in each moment reaching out His hand as I fumble across the water like Peter. Mostly, I stand in awe and gratefulness that He delights in me.
have i said i love him? because i do.
Lindo and his mom
Dan, Lindo, and I
p.s. for your viewing pleasure…here’s my adorable little man dancing:
and here’s my board of thanks…