Bam.

Now that we’ve looked at our excuses, let’s foray into an area that ruffles a few feathers and paints a stark picture.  Insecurity can lead us to excuses, but when coupled with our perception of others then we get a deadly mix of aggression.

Aggression in the forms of…

Depreciation: undervaluing someone else’s achievements so your own can be puffed up.

Accusation: blaming others.

Self-accusation: blaming yourself and even wanting to punish yourself.

Not pretty in black and white.  Even less pretty when it’s put into context of life.  All of the safeguarding tendencies bring out poor outcomes, but this one particularly can lead to messy situations.

Let’s look at the example of David and Saul in 1 Samuel 18:

7And the women responded as they laughed and frolicked, saying, Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

8And Saul was very angry, for the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed only thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?

9And Saul [jealously] eyed David from that day forward.

Saul didn’t want anyone to put his own achievements lower.  He wanted to be first.  He wanted to be the best.  He didn’t like that David came in and stole the show. He blamed David for his lack of popularity.  His jealousy and aggression even went so far as plotting to kill David.

Now, I’m guessing most of us aren’t kings and we don’t have death wishes on the young protege, but aggression still exists in everyday, normal life.  From the sarcastic remark that tears someone down to the need to tell your own story so that you look better–or sometimes we want to share our troubles so that we get more pity than they do.  Maybe taking responsibility for a situation is hard and it’d be easier to blame the person in charge.  Or maybe you’re beating yourself up and blaming yourself.

Which of the three forms of aggression do you typically use? Instead of using that, what can you do today to trust God and rest in His security?

psst…the last one is where I often fall and I’ll be back to share about that in the comments…

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Bam.

  1. I definitely fall under “self-accusation” most often – probably 95% of the time. 2.5% for the other two. And most people will tell you that this is because I have a poor sense of self-worth, and I would tend to agree with them. I guess I’ve just never really understood blaming or downgrading the achievements of others, so I naturally pin my aggression on myself.

  2. I think I blame myself – the third one. I often look back and think, “It I didn’t do this”, or “If I had done it this way”, etc. I somehow think that my actions, responses, etc. could have given me or could still give me the “perfect life”. I am so deceived! Only by God’s grace!

    Thank you, again, Katy! What a great series of posts! 🙂

  3. I join you in the land of self-accusation. I don’t know if i have ever known how to give myself a break. This is a great series Katy! Very timely and much needed.

    • I’ve loved the phrase “next time” when it comes to giving myself a break. I can admit that whatever happened wasn’t ideal but then there’s hope that next time I can do something different. Glad you’re enjoying the series! I had fun writing it =)

  4. Forgot I wrote this little add-on when typing the post: The last one is where I often land. I’d rather take responsibility and take the fall than to let others own up…because then I have a facade of control. Because if it’s my problem then I can do something to change it. I still find myself saying, “I just want to know what I did to cause them to do that….I just want to fix me…”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s