Dear….

Dear baby,

I talked about you today and oh how my heart leapt.  I didn’t even expect to talk about you, but the conversation just flowed.  For one of the first times, I voiced out loud what I love about how God is weaving your story even right today.  Baby girl, baby boy. I don’t even know that, but I do know that whenever I play Amos Story or Come Home Beautiful and when I talk about orphan care and just random moments….I think of you.  See, I don’t know how God is going to write this story.  That’s one of the hardest things for me to trust.  To trust that He will weave it together.  I’m walking out that trust as best as I can and thankful for friends who remind me: “He will bring all your desires to fruition in His timing….as long as you hold fast.”  But, baby, I want you know that I’ve prayed for you over and over. I’ve known you’re going to be part of this family–whatever that looks like.  You already are in my heart.  You’re loved right now, this moment. I smile and laugh because I don’t even know if you’re born yet, but I know God knows.  He knows it all even when I don’t know.  He hears and loves you.  And one day. You’ll be “home.” We’ll sit on a bed and I’ll tell you about how long before anything was in line and when all seemed bleak, I still prayed for you and believed you’d be sitting right here snuggling with me.  I wanted you and loved you right now in this moment as a single girl not knowing what the future holds–not knowing if I’ll have a man by my side or if I can even have babies…before it all. I loved you. That’s what I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you that only God can put together a family like that.

You are loved, baby. So loved.