whole

That beautiful time of the week slipped into place without notice.  Friday, you’ve come all too soon and yet right on time. My heart still needs to play a little catch up and my head wants to process oh so much more.  Time swooshes by and I’m reaching for air to exhale so I’m ready for a little ditty of writing without editing. Five minutes without frills.  The real, raw kind of writing that hits my soul in a refreshing way.  No holds bar. Whatever pours out onto the page.  And today, we’re writing on….

Whole

I crinkle the sides of my face when I think about the beautiful thing the Lord did.  If you’ve seen my face and the laughter that comes when talking about this story then you’ll know that I’ve found my safe place.  I found someone safe who listens to my whole story.  I laugh because for so long I kept secret about this refuge because I hadn’t learned how to swallow my pride.  Most often people gets bits of my story and bits of my heart.  Those who know the whole story lodge themselves in the depths of my heart. This healing process with this counselor friend mentor peer beautiful soul  unfolds in unexpected ways and I’m realizing that the journey toward wholeness requires telling the whole story.  The more pieces I tell the more I come together and fold unto myself in wholeness amidst the brokenness. God loves hearing me share the whole story. So do other people. The real parts of life. Life’s too short to skimp on these.

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what pours out of your heart when you write about “whole”?

trust in the unknown

Esther walked headlong into a “I may perish” situation.

Ruth followed without knowing the outcome. 

Hannah prayed and poured out her heart with hope that God would look on her with favor.

Abigail went forth boldly to approach David. 

The woman at the well spoke with Jesus.

 

Each woman stepped out in trust in the unknown.  Esther didn’t know how the king would respond.  Ruth hadn’t ever traveled to a foreign land as a widow.  Hannah hadn’t given birth to a baby before.  Abigail risked approaching David and trusting that God would work good out with her husband.  The woman at the well didn’t know how Jesus would respond.

God asked each woman to trust Him in a new situation.  He wanted them to depend on Him in the unfamiliar, the unknown.

When I look at my own life, oftentimes, I want God to lead me down the familiar pathways.  God, I’ve seen you provide here so let me go that way again because I can trust you there.  I’ve seen you provide a church so I could step out in that area again. I’ve seen you provide friends so I can trust you there. I’ve seen you provide a job so I get that you can do that again.

For some silly reason, I didn’t realize that He’d, of course, lead me down a new road instead of a road similar to the ones I’ve traveled.

So, here I am….I stumble, stammer, and throw on my do it afraid face in the areas I haven’t stepped out in yet.

I’m finding in this year of trust (holla #oneword2011) that God calls me to the uncomfortable, unfamiliar places.  He calls me to trust Him in new ways and situations.  To deepen trust, you have to go beyond the areas you already have seen His faithfulness.

So, I do it afraid. I stay. I hit accept. I say no. I say yes. I shut my eyes tight with tears but do it anyway.

Have you seen God ask you to trust in the unfamiliar places?