full five minutes

Full…

Define full…

to fill up

to exhale

to smile

As much as I’m a storyteller and love weaving words in this place, I’ve come to realize that I write because I leave feeling full.  Being full is a beautiful feeling and oh how I wish I knew how to gather up all the confetti feelings it brings into a happy little pinata that never stops bursting.  I may be a storyteller, but really I love gathering, hearing, and valuing the stories that I get to listen to wherever I am.  I left Africa full of stories. I left Kids Camp full of stories. I leave work full of stories.  I leave talking with people full.  My heart contains so many stories all at different points and levels of sharing.  They are pondered and treasured there along with the stories that I’ve entered into by the beautiful melding of hearts.

The funny thing is that even though I so intensely love stories…for so long, I’ve hidden from my own story not knowing what to do with all the broken pieces piercing my heart and hands.  I left it alone because I couldn’t unravel the strings that bunched together and lay jumbled like pick-up-sticks.  They overwhelmed me and I didn’t know how to tackle the big questions or bring them to God.

Yet, God makes a way in the wilderness and makes our deserts into Eden.  Those places we’ve deemed and stated: Lord, I’ll go anywhere, but not there.  That’s where I’ve found a place to exhale and face my story.  In a place that I’ve avoided at all costs, I’ve stopped hiding from my story.   Because, really, to be full, you have to start empty.  To find a refuge, I needed to let go of fear. To be full of the present, I need to let go of the past.  This ebb and flow of life teaches me to embrace the empty because the full is coming like the morning dawn.

———–

5 minutes on full. So, now that I’ve hinted about this lovely place that I find an exhale in the most unlikely of places…you can actually pop over to Mary Kathryn’s to read my guest post about “a place to exhale” where I share a bit of my heart and journey. I am definitely honored to be posting over there and goodness she is such an encouragement to me.  She’s lovely and wonderful and real.  So, for real, have fun and check out her little corner on the web.

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21 thoughts on “full five minutes

  1. This is lovely, Katy. Especially how you talk about being filled with stories. I imagine you are a wonderful listener, and that you carry all kinds of hearts and hopes in your own story. I especially loved that you said you write because it fills you up. I hadn’t thought of it like that before, but it is so very true. Thank you for sharing!

    • thanks, hilary! and i know, i hadn’t really thought about full and writing in that way before I started writing today so it was a fun little discovery that totally makes sense.

  2. “This ebb and flow of life teaches me to embrace the empty because the full is coming like the morning dawn.”
    i just love that. beautifully written, beautiful sharing of your heart. thank you.
    steph

  3. You wrote:
    Because, really, to be full, you have to start empty. To find a refuge, I needed to let go of fear. To be full of the present, I need to let go of the past. This ebb and flow of life teaches me to embrace the empty because the full is coming like the morning dawn.

    You are so right. How can God fill us with His joy and love when we don’t make room for Him? How can we accept His unique and wonderful gifts for us when we close the door to Him?

    Embrace the empty. I love that. It speaks to me of such promise and hope.

    • so so very true and it’s been convicting me lately if i’m holding onto past gifts and just circumstances that are preventing me from receiving what He has for me right in this moment.

  4. I love the direction that you took on the prompt this week. It is funny because I was just telling someone today how I HAVE to write and how I feel satisfied after I do, but I didn’t think of that when this prompt came around. I guess that is just another view of how God makes us unique. Love reading your 5 minutes!

    • so true! i love how god keeps on reminding me that we each have a place and role and that we all bring something to the table. he sure does make us unique and beautiful. it’s learning to embrace that rather than excusing or apologizing for that.
      and i agree…i HAVE to write. it’s just part of me.

  5. “I left it alone because I couldn’t unravel the strings that bunched together and lay jumbled like pick-up-sticks. They overwhelmed me and I didn’t know how to tackle the big questions or bring them to God.” Such great writing. But I love how God lets us get immersed in people and their stories even while we’re still in progress. And he gives us the space we need to look at that tangle, maybe from a different perspective and begin the work of unraveling. Great post on “full”

  6. I read your post on MK’s site and came over here to read more. I felt my heart immediately pause as I read, “I’ve hidden from my own story not knowing what to do with all the broken pieces piercing my heart and hands. I left it alone because I couldn’t unravel the strings that bunched together and lay jumbled like pick-up-sticks. They overwhelmed me and I didn’t know how to tackle the big questions or bring them to God.” You put words to what has beeen swirling in me for a time now. Thank you. Great writing and great post! I will be reading more.

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