full five minutes

Full…

Define full…

to fill up

to exhale

to smile

As much as I’m a storyteller and love weaving words in this place, I’ve come to realize that I write because I leave feeling full.  Being full is a beautiful feeling and oh how I wish I knew how to gather up all the confetti feelings it brings into a happy little pinata that never stops bursting.  I may be a storyteller, but really I love gathering, hearing, and valuing the stories that I get to listen to wherever I am.  I left Africa full of stories. I left Kids Camp full of stories. I leave work full of stories.  I leave talking with people full.  My heart contains so many stories all at different points and levels of sharing.  They are pondered and treasured there along with the stories that I’ve entered into by the beautiful melding of hearts.

The funny thing is that even though I so intensely love stories…for so long, I’ve hidden from my own story not knowing what to do with all the broken pieces piercing my heart and hands.  I left it alone because I couldn’t unravel the strings that bunched together and lay jumbled like pick-up-sticks.  They overwhelmed me and I didn’t know how to tackle the big questions or bring them to God.

Yet, God makes a way in the wilderness and makes our deserts into Eden.  Those places we’ve deemed and stated: Lord, I’ll go anywhere, but not there.  That’s where I’ve found a place to exhale and face my story.  In a place that I’ve avoided at all costs, I’ve stopped hiding from my story.   Because, really, to be full, you have to start empty.  To find a refuge, I needed to let go of fear. To be full of the present, I need to let go of the past.  This ebb and flow of life teaches me to embrace the empty because the full is coming like the morning dawn.

———–

5 minutes on full. So, now that I’ve hinted about this lovely place that I find an exhale in the most unlikely of places…you can actually pop over to Mary Kathryn’s to read my guest post about “a place to exhale” where I share a bit of my heart and journey. I am definitely honored to be posting over there and goodness she is such an encouragement to me.  She’s lovely and wonderful and real.  So, for real, have fun and check out her little corner on the web.