On leaving…

Through the plethora of Christian non-fiction I’ve read, I see the common theme of chasing dreams.  The authors lately seem to encourage us to take that next leap of faith and jump.  Pray big and believe big and act big.  The moments of anticipation and excitement leading up to the change cause us to open our eyes wide.  Good-bye’s may be hard and the missing can be fierce, but the leaving.  Oh the leaving sweeps me off my feet.  The thrill of facing a new challenge and setting out on an adventure with God in a new place.  Striking out to absorb all the tastes, scents, and sights.  All of that goes down like sweet honey.  The warnings to those with fears about leaving never seem to phase me.  I just go.

From setting out to college several states over to transferring colleges to embarking on a new job to entering a seminary program to putting that on hold in order to jet off to Africa to making plans to go back to Africa…the leaving, I’m used to and is my natural.

When you’re used to leaving, staying and waiting becomes the harder pill to swallow.  Staying when reality settles and starts to rub against the rough edges of your heart.  Lackluster and grandeur seem to become a thing of the past. Every little thing God whispers seems to line up with staying to which I respond, “Are you sure?”  Patiently, the little doors I try to peek into are gently closed and I am once again reminded that I am in a season of staying and waiting on God.  A season with an “indefinite” amount of time which irks this planning type girl.  But, thankfully, in the midst, He proves faithful to provide mini “leavings” and “adventures.”  He meets me and refines me in new ways that wouldn’t happen if I packed up to leave.  In the end, there’s much to be learned in either season and He knows what we need and where we need to be even if it looks much different.  His ways are not my ways.  So, in that I trust that He says “stay” for a reason.

What kind of season are you in? Leaving? Staying? Preparing? 

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7 thoughts on “On leaving…

  1. I feel somewhere in between staying and leaving. Being in college means living in a constant state of transition, and staying in a constant state of leaving. We live in two towns, don’t know our “home” address, and aren’t sure which city to call our own. But soon we’ll leave for one or the other, and then stay, only to leave again. Either way, I’m where God wants me to be, and that’s what matters.

    • oh so true. college is definitely a season of both staying and leaving and preparing all rolled into one. glad you’ve got a good attitude about it! =)

  2. it is so funny to me that God knows just what each of us need. while i have always been a ‘gypsy’ spirit {so to speak} i have never wanted to take my gypsy-ness clear across the country from my family. i have always thought a safe distance would be good. . .like austin, nashville, or atlanta. but the Lord had other plans. . .clear across the country.

    i am so proud of you for learning the lessons He is teaching and following the Lord in the adventure of staying 🙂

    • ha funny. love that. free spirit. gypsy spirit. i’m the one who has always been like get me as far away as possible.
      i love that you wanted a “safe” distance. too cute. and yes, sometimes He truly does have other plans than the ones we have.
      love you and thanks for the encouragement in the staying.

  3. My heart knows this so well. It is so easy for me to jump up and say yes to God when he tells me to leave. Staying is one of the most faith-stretching times for me. It’s hard. The trials seem more unending. I don’t know if I’m in a period of staying or preparing. I think both. I think I will be staying for a while. (At least a year… that feels like forever to me), but I also think God is preparing me to leave (after that year…). I think God is having me stay right now to grow me in him and strengthen my love and dependence on him. If I was going somewhere it would be too easy for me to find my comfort there (aka… Costa Rica) because my heart feels so at home there. My heart needs to feel at home in God and where he has me. Still working on that one, but again, I think that’s why I’m in a period of staying right now. It is necessary for my heart and faith. No matter how much my heart hates it, I know it’s good.

    • and really well staying and leaving both include preparing. i guess in a way we’re always preparing. and yes….i could totally see how a year feels SO long. He totally is a rock and wants ALL of us and wants us to be completely dependent and will strip us down so that those comforts aren’t around. i’m still working on that whole finding home in god. i know it’s completely necessary and not my natural go-to. it is good. keep on, keeping on, friend. you’re doing well.

  4. Pingback: Women of Faith–Whoa! « B'ahava

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