On leaving…

Through the plethora of Christian non-fiction I’ve read, I see the common theme of chasing dreams.  The authors lately seem to encourage us to take that next leap of faith and jump.  Pray big and believe big and act big.  The moments of anticipation and excitement leading up to the change cause us to open our eyes wide.  Good-bye’s may be hard and the missing can be fierce, but the leaving.  Oh the leaving sweeps me off my feet.  The thrill of facing a new challenge and setting out on an adventure with God in a new place.  Striking out to absorb all the tastes, scents, and sights.  All of that goes down like sweet honey.  The warnings to those with fears about leaving never seem to phase me.  I just go.

From setting out to college several states over to transferring colleges to embarking on a new job to entering a seminary program to putting that on hold in order to jet off to Africa to making plans to go back to Africa…the leaving, I’m used to and is my natural.

When you’re used to leaving, staying and waiting becomes the harder pill to swallow.  Staying when reality settles and starts to rub against the rough edges of your heart.  Lackluster and grandeur seem to become a thing of the past. Every little thing God whispers seems to line up with staying to which I respond, “Are you sure?”  Patiently, the little doors I try to peek into are gently closed and I am once again reminded that I am in a season of staying and waiting on God.  A season with an “indefinite” amount of time which irks this planning type girl.  But, thankfully, in the midst, He proves faithful to provide mini “leavings” and “adventures.”  He meets me and refines me in new ways that wouldn’t happen if I packed up to leave.  In the end, there’s much to be learned in either season and He knows what we need and where we need to be even if it looks much different.  His ways are not my ways.  So, in that I trust that He says “stay” for a reason.

What kind of season are you in? Leaving? Staying? Preparing?