an update

One month left of reading through the bible chronologically and I’m still trudging along learning to persevere in the hard.  Knowing full well that this daily discipline keeps me grounded when all inside screams run.  I find myself cozied up with the gospels desperate for glimpses into Jesus’ heart.  I flip the pages through the hard love finding myself so eager to touch His robe to find healing in my own heart, in my story, in my broken places, in my messy.

Six months into this year focused on trust and I’m out for the count.  Flat on my back with no strength left in my limbs.  Deep in the valley of the desert where the storm rages yet water mocks my reaching hand.  You’ll find me there. Nothing left to give. Nothing left to say. Words hiding out along the corners of my mind taunting me with my story.  Deep in the dredges of my story, you’ll find me.  Frustrated with sharing and looking back, I flat out ask, “Why do we even look back? Aren’t we supposed to press on? Forget?” Eyes searching for an excuse to avoid and once again not even acknowledge the hurt.  I hear truth spoken back at my heart.  Sometimes things still affect us today.  Those places need healing so we can press forward.

So, where do I find myself?

Living out the mantra sometimes things get worse before they get better.  Sometimes to heal properly you need to break all over again.  To learn trust, you need to face the areas of mistrust.

When I am weak, He is strong.

woven in the flowers is my reminder:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I can tell my story.

I can trust.

I can heal.

but not on my own. only through Christ.

————

How’s your year going so far now that we’re at the halfway mark? Did you have a #oneword2011? Or any new year’s resolutions? Fill me in on how you’re doing =)

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3 thoughts on “an update

  1. Awwww sweet Katy. . . . ((hugs)) You’ll get through this! You will!

    I’m still reading through as well and am really enjoying the gospels. I am, however, looking forward to being finished with a reading plan as this will have been through the Bible TWICE in 18 months for me. lol

    I did my OneWord post a few days ago. . . still learning to anticipate when everything inside is crying that I am afraid to believe. . . .

    Love you! xxx

    • thanks for the hugs, mary!

      i’m with you on the looking forward to being finished with plans. looking forward to some spontaneity and just camping out in some passages. this will be twice in less than a year for me! crazy…i totally hadn’t done the math on that one!

      and loved your post and all the ways He is showing up…but it is hard to battle those fears. more often than not that’s where i so need to remind myself that God often tells His people “do not be afraid.”

      love you!!

  2. Good for you to keep up the discipline!

    As for my word, led … still trying to be led. Just confused as to where that is and how to know.

    I love the line about touching his robe to find healing – beautiful image.

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