5 minute Friday…

Ready Go!

Motherhood should come with….

a reminder to soak up the moments, to love with abandon, to love in a way that oozes jesus…a reminder to remember there was a time you longed for this. a time you longed for babies to fill your arms. a reminder to love those who are longing for babies of their own. that you can be a mama to people who don’t have one or who desperately ache for a place to belong, a home, someone to hold them when they are. motherhood should come with a reminder that even though those babies are so your priority…it doesn’t mean you can’t let god set other people in your family too. because. there are those who hurt and cry. who just want to be home. who are are waiting. a painful wait. but really, mothers, you are lovely.

STOP

p.s. this prompt hurt a little, a little welly eyed…left me grasping for words and feeling so *not* a mother {yet} and holding onto a little tiny shred of hope in the waiting. but there’s that little rule about not editing and not going back. so….yes…sigh to clinging to trust.  now, YOUR TURN! =)

p.s.s. just sayin’ i like writing these when they come out…but i so don’t like that i’m in a different timezone as the gypsy mama. because then i would rather just post after i write, but then it’s on thursday not friday, but it’s east coast friday. but then i like that we’re in different time zones because i would SO be asleep by midnight and even 11 is stretching it past my happy 10:30 bedtime. plus, i like to write before i read others so then i’m not influenced. so it just works better to write right away.  just thought i’d let you all know what goes through my mind about these posts and time. oh and i’m writing this while i wait for the writing prompt. =)

pride and triathlons

in less than two days, i’ll be swimming, biking, and running.

in order. consecutively.  600 yards, 13 miles, 2.8 miles.

i’ll be honest. i added this in partly because i’ve never done an official triathlon and hey it was on my “before going back to africa” list (i did an unofficial one so i figure an official one should be extra brownie points) and well i just like running and biking and trying new things and training.  though, i also wanted to add it in for “fun.” lately, whenever people ask me, “are you ready?” or “how’s the training been?” i half laugh and remark about how well i just added it in for “fun” and my main focus is marathon training. i mean i ran 18 miles last saturday. i should be able to finish this. plus, i cross train and i have been training some too. cue hiding from potential disappointment, but yes….moving on…

today, i did my first “brick” workout by biking and then running. (insert: i know, i know….probably should have been doing a LOT more of these) i have done days where i do two a day workouts…just hadn’t done one back to back really since last summer.

as i jumped on my bike and now reflecting back, i started listing those “fears” that come up with a race.

• what if my goggles break
• what if i can’t get my bike shoes on
• what if i get a flat tire
• what if i forget how to run
• what if i can’t find my bike
• what if i get disqualified
• what if i run into a rabid dog or rabbit (okay i just made that one up now…but it could happen)
• what if i wear the wrong thing

and you know what i realized. for me. i saw pride rearing it’s ugly head.

Why am I afraid? I’m afraid that I’ll look “dumb” or that I won’t “fit in” or that my time won’t be “good enough” or that I will be slower than “so and so” or that I’ll have to face disappointment.

Not only that, but….I’ve made my God so small that I forgot about all the awesome lessons that I could learn through those trials.  I’ve made my God into a God who only wants to shower me with prosperity and spare me the fire that refines me into gold.  Instead, I want to remember that I could learn how to persevere in the midst of all these roadblocks and things that could take me out of the race. I don’t want to forget that God is in the details. He’s not just concerned about having me cross the finish line, but He’s concerned about what happens on the journey (oh and don’t forget to cue philippians 4).  I forget that sometimes just maybe He lets rain fall down to teach us how to keep running in the storm.

Besides….how can I ENJOY God and ENJOY this race if I’m too busy focused on MYSELF and making me look good or perform well…and how can I love God and love others when I’m so busy puffing myself up and loving me according to the world’s standards…

just a few thoughts i’m pondering and mulling over. raw, unedited, not all that pretty and eloquent. just thoughts for now.

so…what about you…have you ever finished a race? how did it go? any tips!? what did you learn?