“Write what you know. Not what you wish you knew. So we can know it through your eyes too.”
Go: 10:47
I know that God’s ways aren’t my ways. I know that His ways are so very different than mine. I know that I make plans, but His purposes prevail. I can lay claim to this truth because I have seen it and I know it deep in my heart. My life is a living testimony to the ever shifting of my perspective and the ways that He shows me just how different His ways are. From Africa to boys to jobs to family to friends, I’ve seen it played out in probably all areas of my life.
What I wish I knew in the deepest parts of my heart is that His ways, this dying to self, this breaking apart at the seams, this waiting…is good. My flesh is screaming that it hurts and my tears seem to never end. My heart wants and has determined to set its course on Him. To stay when I want to leave. To wait when I want to jump. To bite my tongue when I want to speak. To let justice play its course when I want to lay the smack down. To be when I want to do. To mourn when I want to run. To abide when I want to hide. To miss and be okay with the missing and the uncomfortableness when I want red bows. Because I do miss it. Terribly.
Stop: 10:54 (oops…make it 7 minutes. it’s biblical after all!) and I meant to share some cute little story but I guess you just get this tonight. messy glorious missing wrapped up in a there is a time for mourning and missing or so i’m told and being encouraged to see and that’s where He meets me all curled up with nothing left but Him.
Take two…favorite things (since I already wrote for 5 minutes and then saw the actual post…though I do like the prompt from one of Lisa-Jo’s tweets =) anyway…here’s a list of 5 things…though I don’t do favorites…they stress me out…so these are just things that i love/miss terribly)
1. Africa….my little man in Africa, my people, the mountains, the park, the handshakes, the hugs, Hope House, being able to be, the love, the hope, and oh so much more.
2. Places where I can exhale and be…running in the woods, Africa, curled up in my papasan, in the middle of nowhere with my bike or rollerblades, a certain couch i’m learning to trust where i can pour out my heart, driving in the car toward a sunset or a sunrise
3. My kiddos, littles…big smiles, big hugs, high fives, laughter, unfiltered honesty, piles of bean bags, forts, wonder, fun
4. Bright happy colors…on shoes, earrings, happy summer dresses, skirts
5. Surprises and being loved well…a text of encouragement, a friend who listens well, God’s lingering moments in the sunsets, white chocolate in banana bread, flowers with a hope for spring, e-mails, letters, books, taking pictures, bracelets made for me, pictures on my wall, being seen and loved even so, grace, dancing it out with music with God
Share a few minutes with me of what you know or of some of your favorite things?? I’d love to listen in and see through your eyes…
b'ahava 
Oh I loved this…..Africa is right up there for me too. I recently came back from Uganda. Beautiful Post.
ohhh Uganda! i’ve heard so much about about that beautiful country and people. I’m definitely going to have to go check out some of your posts from your time there =)
I considered a spiritual post but chickened out…I figured there was no way to clearly express myself in 5 minutes. I’m still exploring this meme (today’s my first try)…and I love how you provided info. afterwards. AND, I love your heart!!
yay!! glad you’re joining in on the fun! and i agree…clarity and full expression in 5 minutes or even my 7 minutes. yeahh, it’s hard! but it’s fun too and a challenge and for me…it usually brings up more of my unedited, raw emotions.
i love listing favorite things so when i saw the real prompt i just had to add that in too…got a bit lengthy but oh well!
heading over now now to see what you wrote…. =)
I so get this longing friend…
mmmmhmmm. sigh.
Yum, I could totally go for some of your white chocolate banana bread right now!
i hadn’t made it for so long…twas good. wish you had been eating it with me!
I am so, every time, always, stunningly, awed by your eloquence, your line by line legacy of learning, your beauty, your ways…..I pray for you, that joy would abide, fully, completely, in every circumstance, through every heartbeat, every breathe, every thought, and that hope would live in the same fullness….
and you give those things, share what you are receiving and learning and knowing and wanting and wishing and trusting and praying, and you enhance lives…
especially mine.
love you. and now you left me without words…
What a beautiful post! It is so hard to use our will to do what we must do. It does hurt to die to self and through continual self denial we get stronger and are better able to be His servants. What beautiful truth you shared!
so hard. that daily taking up of our crosses. thank you for your kind words!
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