sleeping while the water rises

I’m sitting there in the boat being tossed from one end to the other.  The crushing waves threaten my life and splash up over the sides.  Rain stings my face and my panic filled wide eyes blink against the onslaught.  Disaster surrounds me.  I’m supposed to be safe. I thought I would be safe.  I’m with Jesus. I’m right where He wants me.

But He’s….sleeping.

Trudging through the water filled boat, I go to wake Him up.  Staring into His eyes I say, “Do You not care?”

He rises up. Speaks out against the wind and the sea: “Hush now! Be still!”

The wind swirls to a stop.  A great calm, a perfect peacefulness stretches across the sea into my heart.

He cares.

And then He says, “Where is your faith, your trust, your confidence in Me and My integrity?”

My eyes open up to the wonder that He wants me to believe, trust, rely on, and be confident in Him even when my boat is filling up and everything around me looks like I will perish.

So, as I find the storm shaking my world once again, I put up my hood and let the water splash over my rain boots as I walk down to where Jesus is sleeping.

My water’s rising, everything is changing, but I make my bed next to His.

And we’re both sleeping…

 

~~I’m linking up this post here with Ann as a submission for the SheSpeaks scholarship and as a heart-jumping, tentative step toward sharing more of my heart and the words that flow out of it from Him. I wrote this last November when my world was turned upside down as I struggled to find God in the midst of closing doors toward heading home to Africa.  I still resonate deeply with this post as I am on a journey of asking God to teach me how to trust Him and how to play in the puddles along the way.   I’m learning to let both the puddles from my tears and life’s stormy rain wash healing down into the innermost parts of my heart in order for my roots to be dug deeper into Him.  He’s speaking into my story so that I can speak it out.

SheSpeaks cultivates an environment to equip and empower women who feel a strong calling to take the messages that God has placed in their hearts to other women to help them connect intimately with Him.  He speaks and from the outflow of His words she speaks.

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3 thoughts on “sleeping while the water rises

  1. Pingback: catching my heart: i’m learning to be my Father’s daughter « B'ahava

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