The words tumbling out of my mouth: home. is that so much to ask for?
When my words come out of my mouth scattered then I know I’m stumbling upon the raw, real parts of my heart. The thoughts still being mulled and pondered come out jaggedly to where they surprise even me. Therein lies the parts I long to draw out yet…
I bite my lip, quickly shift my eyes to the ceiling to prevent the tears, and frantically try to catch the pieces of my falling walls. Mostly, because I don’t even know if I want to face those heart twistings. Voicing them makes them real even if they are dismissed, ignored, or lost in conversation. When they are acknowledged and voiced even if only by me then begins the wrestling.
That’s how the “get real and honest” conversations with God start.