5 minutes on 5 years ago

I write in this little space here and on the blank pages of word documents most often, but I love writing in journals too.  There’s something wondrous about picking up a pen or pencil to put words on real paper.  My closet has a neat little stack full of my old journals.  Green ones, striped ones, ones that have gone to Africa, ones from Guatemala, and they each tell part of my story.

So, when I heard Lisa-Jo was writing about 5 years ago, I wondered if I could look up what I wrote around this time 5 years ago.  I found it.  I had an idea of where my heart was then, but to see my words on a page. Oh my…and see I’d already been thinking about 5 years ago after reading this post and this one about how our plans don’t turn out like we think….

Five years ago, I was head over heels in love.  Planning a wedding in my head even with a date in mind.  Ring browsing with a giddy smile on my face and a boy’s hand in mine.

The space between those moments and today swell with so many stories yet to be told.  Tucked away in my heart waiting to give Him glory.  To share how He brought a little girl with a broken heart through much and even gave her a new name along the way. Nothing like I planned.

Yet, five years later, I find He’s still bringing me along in this journey toward His heart. All the while, patiently hearing my own heart as I wrestle toward healing within the tension of…

asking: “does anybody know how to hold my heart?”

wanting: “i want to darken in the skies. open the floodgates up. i want to change my mind. i want to be enough. i want to let the rain come down. make a brand new ground.”

hoping: “this is the day i make you mine. you are the one. i’ve been waiting for today and here comes the sun. i thank God you came along.”

And trusting that five years from today, I’ll have even more stories tucked away in my heart to share that speak of His glory.

22 thoughts on “5 minutes on 5 years ago

  1. Your words were so moving… I was enjoying reading your moment and anticipation in hope. Waiting…
    More memories being made now.
    Hopped over from Lisa-Jo’s Blog Hop!
    Isn’t this fun?

  2. Oh my heart just kind of ached and leaped for you all at the same time. The broken heartedness that I experienced before Arno…oh so keen…and yet {like you} HE taught me how He loves me and how precious I am through all of that. Oh the story He is writing for you….because you ARE really so, so, so, so precious to him. You have a way of allowing Jesus to seep through your pages {posts} and words. Maybe we will meet one day….I have a piece of Africa in me too…{and another one that now lives with me 😉 }

    Thank you for your sweet comment luv!

    • ohhh your comment meant so much to me because i can just tell you get it! would love if we were able to meet someday!! and africa definitely tends to get in hearts =) enjoy having a piece of africa to come home to every night! 😉

  3. (((Katy))) Thank you for this…so powerful. You know what, I have a *similar* story…I couldn’t even believe it when I read you from 5 years ago…I just wrote a little bit of it out and sent to ‘a deeper story’. I haven’t heard from them about posting it, but I would love to share the piece with you personally.

    Basically, I was with four years of a *powerful* friendship and dating too (way too nebulous was this) and talk about ‘if’ we were the ones…saying ‘no’ (him) then moving to maybe’s and more possibility…then not knowing he was ‘deciding’ between me and someone else. Tells me they are going to ‘the next level’ still wants our friendship, but then six weeks later is engaged to her…very, very broken heart…

    please e-mail me: aalleman_03 at yahoo dot com

    I’d really love to hear and share more…shalom and all of Him to you dear one.

  4. Pingback: He Fashioned My Heart « B'ahava

  5. Pingback: catching my heart: i’m learning to be my Father’s daughter « B'ahava

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