…for real friday with a random question

so, now it’s REALLY friday. yeah…i guess i’ve been wanting friday all week especially since i posted yesterday with a title saying that it was friday….:)

random question for the day from The Book of Questions: do you feel you have much impact on the lives of people you come in contact with? can you think of someone who, over a short period of time, significantly influenced your life?

my answer:

sometimes i feel like i do. i like to think that even if i don’t see the impact that there is still an impact.

as for someone, yes.  though, the sad part is that I don’t remember their names. but i do remember them and i am mindful of them still. we met them doing relationship evangelism and learned about how one their mom’s was very sick…and by the next day she died. these little ones feeding each other, loving each other and just being little kids without a care in the world changed me…and are still changing me and significantly influencing the way that i see life and are part of that vision He’s refining…

friday “fun”

Sometimes Most times, I act like a girl when it comes to bugs.  Yeah, I lived in Africa and yeah, I can “handle/tolerate” so many more bugs than I used to be able to handle.  But, seriously, I am NOT a fan of ticks.  Let alone when they jump onto my foot!  I freak out, jump around, frantically make the people who are with me check me for more, and then keep doing it for a while. Though, on the upside, the view from the top of Inspiration Peak filled my heart and made me long for real mountains. Sad day, though, when the camera died before we got to the top!

How about you, do you like bugs?

i thought i could fill the time…

I thought I could fill the time in between with work.

I could make the season go by a little faster.

I wouldn’t mind some money.

I love kids, so why not?

I didn’t know then.

I do now.

See…

I am changed.

I have a mark on my heart.

I see now that this changes things.

I can’t move forward as who I used to be.

I realize He’s using this to clarify His vision for me.

I must leap into this next adventure with a heart full of Him.

—-

has God spoken to you in a season where you thought you could fill the time until whatever you think is next comes along? are you filling the time right now?

8,000 Steps

I walked 8,000 steps for Autism Awareness on Saturday.

“Individuals on the ASD have the ability to impact everyone who they come across in their life; and will leave a mark in your heart” –Autism Walk

Since returning from Africa, I’ve been able to be a substitute in the school district.  Months ago, my day started like any other.  Showing up at a local elementary school not knowing exactly what I would be doing for the day–the joys of being a sub!

I signed in at the office and before long I was off and running. I learned so much in the span of 5 or 6 hours.  I left feeling exhausted, but so full. I wanted a second chance.  I saw so many little things I could do better. My heart falls hard and fast for little ones.  Yet, I knew little to nothing about autism and how it affects some of their lives.  I didn’t know that one in every 110 kids are diagnosed with it.  Or that one in every 70 boys are diagnosed.  Not to mention that we don’t know the cause.

So, I walked because they left a mark on my heart.

A big one.

a dying of dreams to fully surrender

last week…i closed doors, a dying of dreams in order to fully surrender and follow whatever God has for me and whenever and however that looks like…because “abundantly beyond all that I can ask for or imagine” would look different and in doing so, i said a big YES to Him.

i put into words, made it real, wrote it out, that right now He is leading me on a new path, a new adventure that steers away from a ministry i love for the near future. and that hurts, but He is faithful and with that comes peace.

and as usual, a song played on repeat because every time i heard the song, i smiled, took heart, and found JOY for the ways it fit my heart:

free. victorious. flooded with healing. met by my savior. loved. his. overwhelmed. hopeful. sealed by grace. sustained. stirred by passion. alive. broken. surrendered. forever changed.

“mercy rushes through my soul

bowing low as you wash me with healing

lord you sealed me with grace

life eternally sustained

by the hope in my soul you’re revealing

lord, you meet me here in my darkest hour

and you stir my heart with your love

forever I am changed by mercy

forever my heart is alive

forever I am yours my Savior

forever my hope is Christ

the power of sin is broken

I have been set free

for I have died and Jesus is alive in me”

any songs hitting your heart lately?

Saturday Fun-Bloxorz

My fifth graders have been playing a game called Bloxorz and I kept meaning to try it…and yeah, it’s pretty fun and addicting! So, is Bloxorz 2. Yes, I’m a kid at heart. I’m currently on level 11 on bloxorz and 21 on bloxorz 2….! Any fun games you like to play?

I’m Learning

I’m learning that sometimes I need to stay up late because God wants me to take care of things rather than let them “brew.”

I’m learning that sometimes friendships grow stronger with distance.

I’m learning about how I need to temper my soft loving heart with clear truth.

I’m learning to see closing doors as opportunities to move forward.

I’m learning that often things look different than I think or “plan”  or dream because with Him that whole “abundantly beyond all that you can ask or imagine” would look different!

I’m learning that His perfect love casts out fear and ushers in peace

I’m learning to fall forward

I’m learning to fear God more than man

What are you learning?

Changing What If to I Will

Here’s the tale of a “What If” turned to “I Will”:

The setting: sitting on the couch with a friend reading blog posts. –yes, we are that awesome. slash, my friends love me even if some don’t always understand the “blogosphere” where I like to play.

The conversation: cue excited Katy (me) trying to convince said friend that the “what if” challenge posted by the Faith Barista is fabulous and we need to go get paper and pens right now. because things like this can’t wait.

The response: a very poorly received explanation/question of whether “what if” really is a disguise for regrets and negativity. to which I became defensive and sad because this, may I remind you, is a fabulous challenge that to me represents: dreaming, new chances, action, motivation.

The come together: further conversation and exchange of ideas and thoughts while notching down my own fierce loyalty defense to realizing that we really do agree, but simply use different terms.  a little searching and throw in a mix of clarity and bam, we decide we like saying “I will” instead because then we steer clear of the backward, regret thinking toward the hopeful, action.

The list: I will get a church membership form and fill it out.

The action: that lovely friend from above reminds me at church on sunday and even helps gets me one.  I then proceed to pour over each and every question.  I retake the DISC test because I don’t remember if I am an S or a C or what I am!  I’m an S.  And while I’m at it, I take a spiritual gifts test because well why not.  My “top” gifts include teaching, faith, intercession, and mercy.  All of this to mean that I took a few days to fill out a one page front and back form.

The next step: Turn that form in at church!

The lessons learned: Communication is key. Take time to listen, not jump to offense, and sometimes it’s just a matter of phrasing.  I don’t want to look back and play the “what if…” game, but I do want to move forward with action.  Too often, I think it’s easy to let words stay as words…rather than action!

So, how about you? Anything you need to take some action? Got an “I will?”

quietly refreshed

a few days ago, i wrote about my heart being quiet. i followed through with that and spent a few days off of the computer. just some time spent without this sometimes pleasant distraction. no blogs to check. no blogs to write. no facebook messages. nothing catastrophic happened. yes, i “missed” out on things on here. but i also spent time with people. prayed. read 1 peter. sat in the sun. biked. went on a walk. went to bed early. played wii fit. i love boxing on there. read part of a book. and yeah. all that to say that i feel refreshed. ready to fight some more battles. ready to dig deeper with god at my side.

how’s your heart doing now that a few days have past?

❤

Hello Love

Sunlight trickles through the glass as a kiss

Sent straight from heaven as a hello love

Eyes fluttering awake to feel such bliss

Blankets of joy wrapping us from above

Days ahead where the flowers start to bloom

Rainy nights filled with dancing lightning shows

So long gone are the days of snowy gloom

Laughter filling the air while fire glows

Anticipation of adventures soon

Wide eyes filled with hope for a fresh new chance

A moment frozen under a full moon

Arms tangled together while we dance

Until our legs give way to find the ground

Where we fall asleep tangled, love abound

*(in)Courage’s April Creative Challenge on “Spring”

-Did you try your hand a sonnet? If so, did you have fun? I did!