Truth is…I don’t like saying no to people…
I don’t like not being able to do certain things…
I don’t like knowing that because I struggle…because my flesh likes to take over…
that to walk as He calls me to… I must say no in order to say YES to God
Because, for me, the bigger truth is…I want to say YES to God way more than I want to say yes to people.
I don’t want to let a seemingly “little” yes get in the way…
That’s how it starts…the little yes to the flesh leading to a bigger yes leading to finding myself in a hole…
But, see, I am OUT of that hole. And I am staying OUT.
The old is GONE. FOREVER.
Oh, but I won’t be naive in knowing that I can choose to crawl right back into that hole so instead I fix my eyes on Jesus and hear…
God saying, “What are you talking about?” because my SIN, my UGLY, is forgiven…is as far as the east is from the west and…
He made me a new creation…with a new heart…
A heart that is saying a big resounding YES to God
A heart that is being guarded from that hole by my Protector, my Provider
and Oh, I must have more of Him
So, I press on to know Him.
To know His voice and to follow Him…
To His immeasurably more than all that I can ask or imagine.
And, yeah…it might probably will look different than my little head imagines
Yeah…that might hurt…that might ache…that might cause some tears to fall…
But I know that He’s working ALL my things together for good.
I believe and stand on the promise that He will come through.
That He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Because you know what, He lets me know, “My delight is in you”
So, I’ve laid down my UGLY at the altar.
He’s calling for a living sacrifice.
A sacrifice…that costs but reminds me…
Jesus is better.
Yeah. I confess…I desire to be married.
Yeah, I confess that that desire in my own hands instead of His lead me to my hole…
to my sin, to my UGLY
So, He’s called me to lay that desire down on the altar as a living sacrifice
and for this next season I will heed His call and stay single by saying no…
So, I stand still and w…a…i…t… to see what He will do
Because the attention I get from Almighty Jesus is better and I’m going to…
run to Him.
run to Him.
run to Him.
And keep saying no…so that I can say YES to Him.
b'ahava 
I believe God would tell you that you are his creation, you are him incarnated and that you have no “ugly”, that you are perfect in your imperfection and that you are here to fully experience what it is to be human. Being holy is not about depriving or denying yourself, be holy is about being.
Much love to you! You sound joyful!
“You sound joyful” this definitely brought a smile to my face because as my next post attests that’s my word for 2010.
and yes, by saying “ugly” i meant the sin and the parts that He is refining to make me more like Him. I mean the “ugly” as in the times when I’m not like Him or showing Him in all that I do. thanks for the reminder that in Him there is no ugly…
I would love to see you soon Katy! I think we would have lots to talk about. This was encouraging as always. Obedience is tough, but when it is truly inspired by a love for your creator and done in faith that He has your best interest in mind, it will begin to feel less like obedience and more like strength and confidence in the truth that will provide perseverance and endurance filled with JOY. I think that transformation in your life is what you are expressing in this post. Very cool to see. And very inspiring for me. : )
I agree miss keely! i so want to see you soon. sooner rather than later for sure. silly distance thing. love that you too brought up my word for 2010 oh JOY how I long for that to be evident in my life. and i LOVE that obedience changes into something so much more over time…because even when it is a struggle…there’s beauty in the breakdown…beauty in the ashes…beauty in the broken hearted… and yes, this was definitely a “transformation” and reflective post for me. can’t wait to hear about all God’s doing/done in you, friend.