I am bursting at the seams with love and am completely overwhelmed with the love God has for me. This weekend was a tough one. One of battle after battle. Not listening or entertaining the lies and distractions that desperately want me to believe that I’m not enough, that they won’t want me to come back, that I need to lose weight, that he’s gone, and that their actions say they don’t care, etc. Rather, holding fast to His words of truth and promises by reading His Word and prayer while laying things at the cross.
Yet, God turned the tide and came like a rushing stream last night and this morning. My fellow interns prayed for me as I let the tears fall down my face. I sat vulnerable, broken, and honest about the hard weekend. Afterward, strengthened by prayer, God provided a source of life, of passion. The timing worked out that I stayed up late editing a curriculum for the Leadership Summit classes. I devoured every word and came alive. I could barely sleep. When I woke up to see the sunrise, I found myself drawn to Isaiah where verse after verse captured my heart.
Isaiah 58:8-9 “Then your light will break out like the dawn and your recovery will speedily spring forth and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry and He will say, ‘Here I am.'”
Isaiah 61: 10 For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness.
Isaiah 62: 4 But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”
As I write, tears flood my eyes and stream down my face because I am so broken by His love. So broken to feel the love of God. That even through everything, He keeps saying, “And I’m madly in love with you” and to show you that I’m going to give you an amazing gift today:
My heart broke in July when I had to say good-bye. I cried so many tears and prayed so many prayers for him. Each Friday still made my heart happy, but not like when he was there to give me a hug. Today, I got that hug I’ve been wanting for months. He played with my hair, I met his new family, I held him in my arms, I said I love you over and over, we sang Hakuna Matata, and he jumped up on my shoulders. All the things that I loved and missed. Yet, he stole my heart all over again and brought tears to my eyes when I heard the sweet words:
“I missed you too”