Something More.

“Dreams are fuel.
They fuel us to victory.
But most of the time they stay just that.
Dreams.
I lived most of my life “about” to do something.”

“But we also realized that the American dream of white picket fences and a 9-5 isn’t our shtick.
And here is the harder truth.
It isn’t a lot of yours either.”

I love these quotes from this post mostly because I’m right there.  Right there knowing I could play it safe.  I could get that 9-5 and the steady paycheck.  But I’m not.  I know that I only go to the 9-5, white picket fence, happily ever after because it appears safe, comfortable and a great decision.  Except it’s not what I’m supposed to do right now.  God calls me to jump into the water and get completely wet while not holding back anything.  Complete surrender of my heart, desires, hopes, dreams, and life.  Except the amazing thing is that He’s right there beside me ready to bless me and show me what an abundant life looks like when I’m walking with Him.

Decisions

More often than we care to admit, inconsequential decisions change our lives.

-Rhett Butler’s People

Loving on the Driscoll Sermons…

I’ve discovered I really enjoy listening to podcasts on my way to and from work and even sometimes when I go running. The only thing I don’t like is that I don’t get to take notes and write down the fun quotes. This week I’ve listened to the series on Ruth. Love it. Go listen. Plus, the book of Ruth works as a great read in one session story. At the same time, a lot can be unpacked from the book.

The last sermon I listened to challenged me to think about the way I wait. Ruth met Boaz, sparks flew (even though she was dirty and had worked all day and definitely did not look her best), he fed her, gave her a job, and things looked like they were going in the right direction. Except then she just had to continue to work for 6 weeks…and nothing. She didn’t demand to talk about the relationship or demand marriage. She didn’t “pursue” him. She waited and worked in the field. I am so impatient! Especially with boys because I just want to know where we stand and have that be that. Like Dave Barnes calls it: The Inbetween.

Another point that resonated with me today came in the form of the statement that’s said all over and I’ve heard a million times, but for some reason I liked it today. “Marry the girl/guy you can’t live without. Not the one you can live with.” Life lacks color and excitement without them.

The stars gleam

The poets dream

The eagles fly

Without you the earth turns

The sun burns

But I die without you

Every little thing that happens you just want to call that other person and share it with them. My friend in Australia summed this feeling wonderfully: I want him to experience all of this with me and share this experience with him.

Don’t remember that rush of joy

Don’t lose sight of who you are

Every so often we long to steal

to the land of what might have been

but that doesn’t soften the ache we feel

when reality sets back in…

There’s a girl I know

He loves her so

I’m not that girl

I still reach for my phone and hit speed dial 2 only to find the spot empty…even though I know the person who used to hold that spot in my life, my heart, and my phone has moved on to someone else, I still find myself dying a little inside. So here I am, trying to learn how to wait for the next number 2 who can’t live without me and how to become a better number 2 myself in the meantime. Until then, I’ll be calling 3, 5, 6, 9 and 7.

I’ve heard it said

that people come into our lives for a reason

bringing something we must learn

and we are led to those who help us most to grow

Distortion and Deception

A few weeks ago I went to the Chapel where Lauren Winner spoke.  She has written Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity and Girl Meets God.  I just noticed she had a book coming out today too! Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Disciplines.  Now that I’ve fully publicized her books (which I haven’t read, but want to), we can move on to the actual talk.

Here are some of the key points/interesting quotes

• “I’m a writer mostly because I don’t know what I think until I write about it”–I agree with this wholeheartedly!  I can see my opinions and ideas SO much more clearly after I’ve written about them.
• The notion that if you have premarital sex or engage in sexual sin then you will wake up feeling awful is a LIE. This may be true for some, but not for everyone.
•  Our feelings and epistemologies are DISTORTED
• Feelings have to be refined and checked against scripture.
• Lie # 2: If you’ve had premarital sex or other sexual sin you will be scarred for life, you’ve committed an unforgivable sin, it will haunt you, ect.  Though, the lessons of sexual sin are long lasting and many find it hard to unlearn behavior.
• Jesus is the “master gardener”
• Be careful not to idolize marriage
• We can be quite prone to self-deception–especially in areas of sex, money and time.
• Repentance is not about pretending the sin did not happen–rather it is about turning and living faithfully

For me, the biggest part that hit close to home was the reminder that my feelings are distorted and that I am really good at deceiving myself.  Eventually in the “Confessional” blogs I will probably expand on these thoughts.