Friday’s Make My Heart Happy

“You know all my thoughts.  You see through my ways.  And still You come to me.  So I sing a love song to You.  From heaven above, from earth down beneath.  Your love rains down on me.  You know all my thoughts.  You see through my skin.  And still You come to me.  And so I sing a love song to You.  You walk on waves.  You run with clouds. You paint the sky for me to see.  Your majesty, Your majesty is why I sing.  And this is a love song to You.  My life’s a love song to You.“

*Zandile came to Hope House two weeks ago and she’s absolutely lovely.  Praying that God will do BIG things in her life and that she will choose to let her life be a love song to God as well.

Endings Mean Beginnings

Check it out–my newsletter for the month!  I pray this newsletter will open your eyes to see what I see and to see how God is at work in South Africa thanks to your support and prayers.

October Newsletter

b’ahava (with love): הבהאב
To let everyone know of the abundant life in Christ by living to glorify God through
following Him, speaking words of life, and coming alive in order to do everything
with love that overwhelms, empowers, and transforms.

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.-John 10:10

Behold, I make all things new. -Revelation 21:5

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

Re-created My World

“I love you more than my clothes (dress, socks, shoes).  I love you as a teacher and as a friend.” -Sylvia

“To someone who thinks not only for herself but thinks for everyone.  And that person is you.  You have re-created my world and made me a believer.  My life is a more Holy and loving place than before.  You have been my pillow of strength throughout this course.  I appreciate you and I don’t know how life would’ve been possible without you.  You have taught me a lot and I hope you’re gonna keep on changing many other lives as you changed my life.” -Malefu

Loved the cards that I got from my LaunchPad students today.  They caused my heart to overflow with love and served as a reminder of how I want to live:

To let everyone know of the abundant life in Christ by living to glorify God through following Him, speaking words of life, and coming alive in order to do everything with love that overwhelms, empowers, and transforms.

Counting the Day

Countdowns…I got rid of mine.  Why? Because I want to live in the present.  I don’t want to get distracted by the “what if” or “I wish” or “I can’t wait until..” game like I have before.  In the past, I’ve written posts about things I’m looking forward to and how far away they are.  Some of those countdowns aren’t as exciting anymore or don’t have the same significance.  Some take/took away my focus and let me play those games of selfishly wanting things as they are not.

I refuse to complain or get caught up in the wilderness because of my selfish desires.  Instead of counting down, I’m asking God to help me count the day, the season, the moment.  To take that step into the Promised Land.  To let go of my picture of what I want life to be and trust that He wants to give me a life that is immeasurably more than the anything I could dream up for myself.

To take up my cross daily and to die to myself for Him.  To live in such a way that the Holy Spirit guides my path and every word.  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead by focusing on what I can do today to press into Him and dig deep to have more of Him and less of me. The rest doesn’t matter.

I need to obey today because if I love him, I will obey His commands no matter what.

Thunderstorm!!

You probably can’t tell in this picture…but lightning and thunder and lots of rain are happening right through that window.  The power flickered for a bit and I got completely drenched walking down to dinner!  I love a good storm.  Mostly because of the change, the awe, the power, the sound, and the gorgeous new green grass.  I’m feeling this in my life lately too.  I see now the newness that comes after the storm and after light has been shed on dark areas.  Storms in life and being starkly exposed can bring such great intimacy and new life in Christ if we choose to respond positively.   So, how are you responding to His pursuit of intimacy with you today?

Full

My heart is full.  Saturday proved to be a perfect, full day.  I woke up thinking and tweeting: “sunny saturday and no plans as of yet. not sure how I feel about that…”

I started out by staying in bed for a bit and then going outside to embrace the sunshine.  I read and got a tan while laying on a combo of a sleeping bag, blanket, towel and three pillows with music playing in the background next to six different books (Wide Awake, Out of the Salt Shaker, Her Name is Woman, Christ In You, The Bible, Inner Healing).  I even had a blank canvas, paints, a journal, pens, and of course sunglasses.  I like to be prepared/going inside and up the stairs to get something is not an ideal interruption.

Somewhere along the way I decided to pile all my stuff on my stairs in case I decided to return to my spot on the porch after I made delicious sweet tea.  Sweet tea makes my heart happy and feel like summer.  Though, I never did make it back to lay on the porch.  Instead, I helped (Josh–a volunteer here for 10 days) make a sweet video in iMovie.  I am so using that to make some fun stuff.

Then I intended to go on a walk (with Jace), which was delayed due to hanging out and chatting.  Eventually, we (Jace, Allen, and I) made our way to the pond where we saw some poor, sad, dead frogs while discussing how dirty the pool looked and how we needed to get gloves before trying to shimmy down the zip line.  After the walk, we (Jace, Allen, Jen, and I) jumped into a game of Settlers, which made my heart happy since we hadn’t played it yet.  Then dinner, hanging out (most/all of the interns plus the volunteers), playing guitar on an adorable little guitar, talking about life, laughing, time for prayer (for Tara’s family–pray for them too!), and then we ended the day with watching Wolverine.  I even stayed awake and got in some discussion about how some characters have some bitter roots!

Thus, the day ended with the thought and tweet: “what an awesome full saturday that is ending with a full heart praise God!”  I am so thankful for the people God has put around me during this time to walk with me and build me up during this time of re-learning, un-learning, and learning while embracing who I am in Him!

My New Love

What started to be a “want to hang out” turned into a full blown crush, which turned into spending quite a bit of time together.  Yes, I’m totally still in the honeymoon stage, but my fingers are numb and my heart is happy.  Granted, I really only know a few chords and am not really even sure how to “strum” properly, but that’s okay.

I find myself in a stage where I’m learning and re-learning so many things that this fits right into the mix. I must go through the pain, develop those callouses and take time in order to learn the chords, which will turn into a song.  The song may not sound pretty at first, but with some hard work, pressing into those strings, and commitment, I know that I can be more than a conqueror and make something beautiful from the pain.

The same is true for the place I find myself in life.  I find myself at a crossroads where I can either press in and dig deep with God or I can be complacent while letting root issues stick around.  To be honest, I’m sick and tired and absolutely hate those roots in my life and the destruction and pain they have caused.  I need and want to go through the pain with Jesus at my side to dig out any and everything that is destructive so that I can bear good fruit and so prove to be His disciple.  In this, I need support, I need prayer, I need people because Christ created us as a body with Him as the head.  Thus, I need Him and I need the rest of the body to help me in this.  I recognize this and ask if you would join me in this journey in whatever way.  A journey where I am committed to this path toward forgiveness, healing, restoration, and new life because I know that in the long run it will all be worth it.

Something More.

“Dreams are fuel.
They fuel us to victory.
But most of the time they stay just that.
Dreams.
I lived most of my life “about” to do something.”

“But we also realized that the American dream of white picket fences and a 9-5 isn’t our shtick.
And here is the harder truth.
It isn’t a lot of yours either.”

I love these quotes from this post mostly because I’m right there.  Right there knowing I could play it safe.  I could get that 9-5 and the steady paycheck.  But I’m not.  I know that I only go to the 9-5, white picket fence, happily ever after because it appears safe, comfortable and a great decision.  Except it’s not what I’m supposed to do right now.  God calls me to jump into the water and get completely wet while not holding back anything.  Complete surrender of my heart, desires, hopes, dreams, and life.  Except the amazing thing is that He’s right there beside me ready to bless me and show me what an abundant life looks like when I’m walking with Him.

Lindo

Totally missing my buddy tonight and wishing he would be there tomorrow to give me a big hug.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Often when you ask kids what they want to do when they grow up here, you’ll receive and “I don’t know” or some other response.  But, today, I loved the response I got from these two boys.  They both play soccer.  They’re about 13 years old.  One of the boys told me that he wanted to be an engineer and the other wants to be a policeman.  One even had a computer in his house.  I felt like I was back in the States for a second hearing that they play video games, watch Transporter 3, computer games and play sports.  Sometimes I find myself entrenched in the culture that I need a healthy reminder that kids in the States have a completely different life.  They have parents, shoes to wear, toys galore, events to attend, sports to play, new clothes, dreams for the future and so much more.  I love helping these kids see their potential and see that they can grow up to be something amazing.