Friday’s Make My Heart Happy

“You know all my thoughts.  You see through my ways.  And still You come to me.  So I sing a love song to You.  From heaven above, from earth down beneath.  Your love rains down on me.  You know all my thoughts.  You see through my skin.  And still You come to me.  And so I sing a love song to You.  You walk on waves.  You run with clouds. You paint the sky for me to see.  Your majesty, Your majesty is why I sing.  And this is a love song to You.  My life’s a love song to You.“

*Zandile came to Hope House two weeks ago and she’s absolutely lovely.  Praying that God will do BIG things in her life and that she will choose to let her life be a love song to God as well.

Battle

Isaiah 54: 17 No weapon that is formed against you will prosper.

“This is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on its way

I am a conqueror and coheir with Christ

So firm on His promise I will stand

and I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here”

Spending time praying tonight.  What can I be praying for you about?

My 100 Things

In honor of my 500th post, I present to you “My 100 Things.”

1. I had my plans of “success,” money and a high-powered job. So I definitely would have thought you were joking if you told me I would be a Christian.

2. Let alone a Christian who loves missions

3. And left everything to come to Africa

4. Where I found my heart and my Jesus for real

5. Where I would be baptized (check out the new picture I updated on this post!)

6. To celebrate being a new creation and fully surrendering and trusting my everything to Jesus

7. After living in Africa for a year, I can “kind of” tolerate certain bugs

8. But not snakes or big spiders. I am not a fan.

9. Who knew I would love getting up early to watch the African sunrise from my window

10. Or that running in circles in fields to make extra distance would make my heart extra happy

11. Nature captures my heart

12. Everything from meteor showers to shooting stars to sunsets and sunrises to the moon to stars to waterfalls to snowflakes to rainy days to green grass to mountains connects to my heart and fills me up while reminding me of God

13. Flowers (though, NOT roses…I do not like getting roses) and gifts make my heart soar

14. As does picking people up from the airport and getting picked up

15. I love finding secret places outside and exploring

16. Sitting on a rock or on top of a mountain fills me up with awe

17. I loathe fake Christmas trees and love to cut down the real ones

18. And I love Christmas lights

19. Mittens not gloves—they’re useful for carrying things like keys

20. Barefoot not shoes

21. No socks. Ew…..I hardly ever wear socks, they’re so constraining and not happy

22. I used to always have short hair because I didn’t like it touching my neck when it was up in a pony tail while playing tennis

23. I love that my hair is extra long now.

24. I go in streaks of hairstyles…my current one is braids

25. My room is covered in quotes, bible verses, pictures, and happy things

26. I am a pack rat to the t.  Give me anything and I will keep it.

27. I also have a tendency to wear things out until I find that most of my shirts have holes…but I’m still wearing them…I have a hard time throwing things away, did I say that already?

28. Oddly, I hate wearing jeans.  They’re not comfortable. Give me dress pants, sweat pants, gauchos or anything else.

29. Skirts and dresses are especially nice

30. For clothes and life bright, happy colors and pastels are my favorites

31. I recently bought paints in “happy” pastel colors because I recently found out I love painting

32. I wish I was more crafty, but I try

33. Ceramics makes a nice balance.  I could make bowls all day long

34. Happy.  Is not just a feeling, but also a way to describe clothing, music, food and flip-flops among other things.

35. Things must be “happy” in order for me to justify spending money

36. I don’t spend money easily

37. But that comes back to being indecisive

38. I weigh out all the options and play it back and forth in my head.  I see so many potentials.

39. But some decisions are easy….like how I would take all the kids from Hope House home with me if I could and how I would stay here in a second

40. Another thing I am not indecisive about is my preference for vanilla/white over chocolate.  Vanilla milkshakes, white chocolate, white cake. Yum.

41. Except I do love better than sex cake and I have a new found appreciation for brownies, but I still prefer vanilla.

42. I pretty much always carry the book I’m reading and my bible in my purse

43. I have 4 bookshelves in my room at my parents house and I still have more books than that

44. I dislike not having all my books in one spot

45. I so want a huge library in my house someday

46. Also, I so want a huge, white fluffy dog someday

47. And a godly husband who pursues God first, avidly protects purity and holiness, and really lives out 1 Corinthians 13

48. 1 Corinthians 13 in the amplified version gets my heart both giddy and weighted with how amazing love really is and that God truly loves us like that

49. I used to think that knowledge meant gathering all the information and being able to get that “A” on the test

50. I was a bit of a perfectionist when it came to school….

51. Nothing less than an “A” was acceptable

52. I realize now that for me I NEED to put things into action and practice to actually “know.”  I need the application step.

53. Which is hard for me since I love to gather information and often don’t take the next step.

54. I knew about Jesus and the list of things Christians do, but I didn’t “know” Him or recognize the connection between loving Him and obeying Him

55. When you trust Him, He brings such sweet freedom into your life

56. And He helps me stand on those promises that I am beloved, the Lord’s, complete, that there is no condemnation, that I am a new creation, that He delights in me, that I am born of God, I am God’s child, and that He fulfills ALL my needs, He is my all in all

57. I write all over my bible

58. I used to hate writing in books because it makes them look messy.

59. Now, I love adding that personal touch in certain books, not all.

60. I am a huge fan of words and the meanings of words and the root words connected to the word

61. Yet I don’t really like playing scrabble…maybe I’ll keep giving it a try

62. And you’ll find all sorts of references in my bible to Hebrew and Greek words and meanings

63. Even my blog is titled after a Hebrew word

64. B’ahava means “with love”

65. I want to do everything “with love”

66. And to show others that I believe in them and that I see their potential

67. Because Jesus loves and sees us that way

68. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a tattoo

69. But if I do and I might then I want a Hebrew word

70. Maybe even the word “Hephzibah”

71. Because then every time I looked at it, I would be reminded that I am enough in Him because He delights in me.

72. Writing makes my heart happy

73. Editing too.

74. Though, I am not a fan of the serial comma and I firmly think that commas are overused.  They make things look messy and cluttered.

75. I am a vegetarian.  Sounds funny, but I’ve been one since February.

76. I don’t miss meat.  I have never craved it either.

77. Baking fills my heart up and I love trying new recipes

78. But banana bread holds a special place in my heart

79. Whenever I go to the grocery store, I totally fall for the “new” or random things

80. My iTunes has 48.6 days of songs and I am SO that person that listens to a song on repeat for like 30 plays and yes, I keep track of my plays.

81. Except I’m in a process of eliminating songs that are not uplifting

82. I strive to make all of my words those that build up and speak life

83. I often fail

84. But Jesus is refining me

85. I used to not sing out loud because someone told me once I didn’t sing well

86. But I don’t really care anymore because I love singing to God

87. And I love singing Hakuna Matata with Lindo and giving him big hugs

88. And music moves me

89. Touches my heart and can instantly bring me into the presence of God

90. Which is why I need to get rid of the music that doesn’t do that

91. Along with that, I absolutely LOVE playing music loud with the windows down in the car

92. And dancing in my room or the bathroom or the shower or anywhere really

93. I confess I bring my computer into the bathroom to play music while I take a shower–I’m sure that’s not good for my computer, but that’s okay

94. In the end, I want my life to be about letting everyone know about God

95. And the abundant life that is found in Him

96. By living to glorify Him

97. Through following Him

98. Speaking words of life and

99. Coming alive

100. To do everything with love that overwhelms, empowers and transforms

New Creation

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

Baptism.  A public celebration, a declaration of faith in Christ, a new creation.

And I’m madly in love with You.

“I’m searching for a life that hasn’t been there before.  Speak life into the darkness. Speak life into my lungs.  Fill my soul as deep as the ocean.  Reaching for your love.  All that I can do is give it back to you. You take my old skin and made it new again.You have made me new.  A new creation. Bring out the colors my heart’s yet to see.  The night’s on fire for the warmth of your love. Speak life into the darkness.” -“New Creation”

“Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?  Therefore, we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:3-4

“I will betroth you to Me forever.” Hosea 2:19

“I am the Lord’s.”Isaiah 44:5

“Beloved.” Romans 9:25

“Belonging to the Lord.” Isaiah 44:5

“My delight is in her.”Isaiah 62:4

“So, let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.” Hosea 6:3

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by name: you are Mine… Do not call to mind the former things or ponder things of the past.  Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth…I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:1,18-19,25

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

“I am enough because He is enough.” -Alece

Lyrics on Repeat

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

Oh how he loves us, so
Oh How he loves us, how he loves us so

If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking
So, heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

He loves us

~

We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You

You can have all my hands can hold
My heart, mind, strength and soul
Be my all, all consuming fire

~

And I’m madly in love with You

I missed you too…

I am bursting at the seams with love and am completely overwhelmed with the love God has for me.  This weekend was a tough one.  One of battle after battle.  Not listening or entertaining the lies and distractions that desperately want me to believe that I’m not enough, that they won’t want me to come back, that I need to lose weight, that he’s gone, and that their actions say they don’t care, etc. Rather, holding fast to His words of truth and promises by reading His Word and prayer while laying things at the cross.

Yet, God turned the tide and came like a rushing stream last night and this morning.  My fellow interns prayed for me as I let the tears fall down my face.  I sat vulnerable, broken, and honest about the hard weekend.  Afterward, strengthened by prayer, God provided a source of life, of passion.  The timing worked out that I stayed up late editing a curriculum for the Leadership Summit classes.  I devoured every word and came alive.  I could barely sleep. When I woke up to see the sunrise, I found myself drawn to Isaiah where verse after verse captured my heart.

Isaiah 58:8-9 “Then your light will break out like the dawn and your recovery will speedily spring forth and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry and He will say, ‘Here I am.’”

Isaiah 61: 10 For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness.

Isaiah 62: 4 But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”

As I write, tears flood my eyes and stream down my face because I am so broken by His love. So broken to feel the love of God.  That even through everything, He keeps saying, “And I’m madly in love with you” and to show you that I’m going to give you an amazing gift today:

My heart broke in July when I had to say good-bye.  I cried so many tears and prayed so many prayers for him.  Each Friday still made my heart happy, but not like when he was there to give me a hug. Today, I got that hug I’ve been wanting for months. He played with my hair, I met his new family, I held him in my arms, I said I love you over and over, we sang Hakuna Matata, and he jumped up on my shoulders.  All the things that I loved and missed.  Yet, he stole my heart all over again and brought tears to my eyes when I heard the sweet words:

“I missed you too”

Good-bye’s the Saddest Word

We started the year as a group of 8 interns with Thrive Africa.  Today marks the first day that we will be 7 interns.  Due to surgery and a prognosis of a long recovery time, Sam headed home with her parents who thankfully were here throughout the time for Family Days.  Already, we feel the gaping hole within our group and the difference the last two months will be with only 7.  We’re definitely missing you, Sam!  And we’re praying for you and for a speedy recovery.

I feel like I’m still learning how to trust

Above: Me rappelling/abseiling down about 8 stories.

Below: A view of the rock I went down.

Thoughts: I feel like I’m still learning how to trust. Trusting God, trusting others.  Trust holds such power and potential.  With trust, comes vulnerability and in turn we can be known.  Walking down the side of a cliff with only ropes and metal holding you up requires trust.  Trust in the  ropes, in the person who set up the ropes, in the harness, and most of all in God.  Trust in God’s plan, purpose, and protection.  My fear of heights really centers on whether or not I trust God no matter what happens.  I made my way down the cliff in one piece and definitely learned more about trust.  Right now, I’m still learning to trust God while I’m still waiting and not planning what’s next, but letting Him show me what He has in store.  And yeah….I’m pretty excited

Reminder: I live in Africa…

I guess I can’t listen to Pandora here…

“Lasts”

Well…the “lasts” are starting to happen.  Yesterday was my last Sunday in the States.  Weird. Last Sunday at church. Sad day.  Last night at Community Group.  Last time sleeping in my bed. Tuesday will be my last day at work.  Though, I must admit that I am still in denial and playing the “It’s not happening yet…” card.  Good-byes don’t feel real.  Hugs don’t seem like hugs that won’t happen for a long time.  But, I’m already feeling the pull on my heart.  I’m so thankful for the people around me.  From “church” to friends to coworkers to family.  For who they are, for the community, the fellowship, and for just sharing life.  I am not loving on the change or the good-byes.  Forgive me in advance if I seem unemotional.  I am. I just am late in showing the emotions. This translates into crying hours later.  And for a little sentimental song lyric to end this otherwise unending post:

 ”keep in mind we’re under the same sky”

name that song!