Pray!

“I have you in my heart.” Philippians 1:7

Forgive the lack of blogging…I kept going to blog, but then getting distracted or falling asleep.  Oops!  Here’s a quick recap of the week: last staff meeting of the year, talking with some lovely ladies, binding and more binding (woot! leadership summit books to impact lots of kiddos!), saying good-bye at adopt-a-family, last town time aka shopping for gifts for that kid up there, last church complete with “Madly,” birthday parties for Joyce (Basotho staff–we went to her house!) and Jen (ninja themed), making a dvd for that kid up there, saying good-bye to the hope house kids….that was rough, and going to church with that kid up there!

Starting off this week, I need some prayer!  Today, I say “see you in His timing” to Lindo…..I miss him already, but am trusting God big time knowing that He has Lindo in his heart too.  So if you get a chance to pray for him, his family, and me today, thank-you.  Anything I can be praying for you about?

I Cried…

“So You Think You Can Dance” gripped my heart tonight.  My eyes fixated on the screen.  I crumpled inside.  I ached with each debilitating, overwhelming act that pushed her to the ground. I re-lived the echo: you’re everything I think I need, you touched me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.  The chains came crushing down. Biting into my skin.  Reverberating lies instead of truth.  Yet, here I stand.  On the other side.  Set free. Not going back. I won’t back down. Throwing myself on my beloved.  Wrapping myself in Him.  Living here on my knees for Him.  He touches me for a little while, then I am strong.  He frees me from my chains.  And here I am, and I stand, so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.  Standing with Him, falling into His gravity.

ht: watch this: Addicted

Bam!

If you know me even a little, then you probably know that I tend to think….think a lot.  Sometimes to the point where it gets in the way and puts up walls (not a good thing) and stops things from going from my head to my heart.  The last few days I got all caught up in the thinking.  The heady, here’s what experience tells me.  I “know” the truth, but I couldn’t shake the all over the board emotions ranging from confused to frustrated to happy to disappointed to sad to lonely to okay to everything else.  I bounced around and couldn’t find my footing on the solid rock.

Until today. I sat in class and I tried to pay attention and engage in conversation, but every once in a while my thoughts would overwhelm me still.  Until I heard these words, “Follow Me.”  Funny thing is that we were talking about ministering to youth and I really don’t remember how that fit in and neither does my roomie (I asked her later).  So then, God immediately brought to mind the verse below:

“…what is that to you?  You follow Me!”

My reaction: Whoa. Lord, you are so here.  You are so getting my attention.  Because really.  What is it to me that ___ is doing this or that God is working in that way in their lives.  Even, who is that to me and what is that to you that I’m working in a way you didn’t expect.  When all I need to focus on is following Him then everything else fades away.  Africa fades away. Lindo fades away. Thrive fades away. Hope House kids fade away. Marriage fades away.

Yes, good things and yes, serving is good, but He just wants me to “be.”  He loves me when I’m just sitting on the floor with Him leaning against my bed.  He wants me to follow Him and be with Him.  He wants to step out only on His firm foundation.

“It had opened her eyes to the fact that right down in the depths of her own heart she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised but for himself.  All she wanted was to be allowed to follow him forever. “Nothing else really matters only to love him and to do what he tells me.” -Hinds Feet in High Places

Monday Musings

• excited to listen to this podcast when it comes out and love some of the thoughts Perry posted already:
  • Love for her intimacy with God…and not just the information she knows about Him!
  • When you focus on what you do not have (a relationship) more than you focus on Jesus and His Word…the result is usually compromise.
  • AND…YOU DO NOT HAVE TO COMPROMISE…EVER!!!  If I could sit down face to face with every single girl I would say the same thing…WAIT for God’s best…it’s worth it.
• had my first “see you in His timing”
  • my heart is already aching at the thought of saying more of those soon…
• hung out with Lindo today….man, that kid is too much fun and I love his family
  • definitely made me smile today
  • working on making a video of the tons of pictures I have of him
  • can’t wait for next week so i can give him a soccer ball and whatever else random I find in town for him…so what does a 5 year old like?

  

• “no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.” ht: note
  • The weapon of jealousy will NOT prosper against you because we will CELEBRATE what God is doing
  • The weapon of feeling insignificant will NOT prosper against you because HE MADE YOU SIGNIFICANT when He saved you and called you…your significance comes from your salvation…not from “success” in ministry.
• can’t wait to see this girl.
• asking God to hold me tight tonight and help me fight
  • feeling a bit broken tonight.
  • getting away with Him.
• listening to this guy thanks to his free music. 
  • speaking of music. integrity music and their free song on friday makes me happy

Finished!

Woot! After weeks of hard work, we finished the house!  From building the walls to ditema, we pressed on toward the goal.  I can’t believe that I participated in nearly every part of building a house from bottom to top.  I touched cow dung.  I mixed dirt and water to make bricks.  I painted the designs on the sides of the house.  But, more than that, as an intern group, we came together.  We worked as a team to help each other out and encouraged each other to keep going despite the tasty smells and exhaustion that comes with hard work.  I am so thankful for how Tara and Andrew faithfully played with cow dung and smeared it on the walls.  For how Allen spent weeks prepping and putting the roof on the house.  For Chelsea’s singing and smiling face.  For Jen’s patient endurance.  For Amiel’s willingness to make mud and more mud and more mud.  For how Kelly and other staff members faithfully drove us to work on the house.  For Sam going to get water.  For the kids who gave us much needed play breaks.  Now, we have one more week to plant a garden, say our good-byes, and give the kids lots of hugs knowing that this house will stand as a testimony of God’s love for years to come.

Friday’s Make My Heart Happy

“You know all my thoughts.  You see through my ways.  And still You come to me.  So I sing a love song to You.  From heaven above, from earth down beneath.  Your love rains down on me.  You know all my thoughts.  You see through my skin.  And still You come to me.  And so I sing a love song to You.  You walk on waves.  You run with clouds. You paint the sky for me to see.  Your majesty, Your majesty is why I sing.  And this is a love song to You.  My life’s a love song to You.“

*Zandile came to Hope House two weeks ago and she’s absolutely lovely.  Praying that God will do BIG things in her life and that she will choose to let her life be a love song to God as well.

Just to Be With You

More often than not, whether at the park or at Hope House or anywhere with kids, I find myself with a new hair style.  Sometimes cute.  Sometimes full of knots.  Sometimes I leave just a little bit messier. Simply put, I love it.  I’ll take messy hair any day as long as it means I get to spend time with these kids and hear their stories and sometimes even just be with them without saying much.  Just being there to show them I’m here to hang out with them and I care while letting the hair break down the barriers and open up doors to relationships and conversation.

My 100 Things

In honor of my 500th post, I present to you “My 100 Things.”

1. I had my plans of “success,” money and a high-powered job. So I definitely would have thought you were joking if you told me I would be a Christian.

2. Let alone a Christian who loves missions

3. And left everything to come to Africa

4. Where I found my heart and my Jesus for real

5. Where I would be baptized (check out the new picture I updated on this post!)

6. To celebrate being a new creation and fully surrendering and trusting my everything to Jesus

7. After living in Africa for a year, I can “kind of” tolerate certain bugs

8. But not snakes or big spiders. I am not a fan.

9. Who knew I would love getting up early to watch the African sunrise from my window

10. Or that running in circles in fields to make extra distance would make my heart extra happy

11. Nature captures my heart

12. Everything from meteor showers to shooting stars to sunsets and sunrises to the moon to stars to waterfalls to snowflakes to rainy days to green grass to mountains connects to my heart and fills me up while reminding me of God

13. Flowers (though, NOT roses…I do not like getting roses) and gifts make my heart soar

14. As does picking people up from the airport and getting picked up

15. I love finding secret places outside and exploring

16. Sitting on a rock or on top of a mountain fills me up with awe

17. I loathe fake Christmas trees and love to cut down the real ones

18. And I love Christmas lights

19. Mittens not gloves—they’re useful for carrying things like keys

20. Barefoot not shoes

21. No socks. Ew…..I hardly ever wear socks, they’re so constraining and not happy

22. I used to always have short hair because I didn’t like it touching my neck when it was up in a pony tail while playing tennis

23. I love that my hair is extra long now.

24. I go in streaks of hairstyles…my current one is braids

25. My room is covered in quotes, bible verses, pictures, and happy things

26. I am a pack rat to the t.  Give me anything and I will keep it.

27. I also have a tendency to wear things out until I find that most of my shirts have holes…but I’m still wearing them…I have a hard time throwing things away, did I say that already?

28. Oddly, I hate wearing jeans.  They’re not comfortable. Give me dress pants, sweat pants, gauchos or anything else.

29. Skirts and dresses are especially nice

30. For clothes and life bright, happy colors and pastels are my favorites

31. I recently bought paints in “happy” pastel colors because I recently found out I love painting

32. I wish I was more crafty, but I try

33. Ceramics makes a nice balance.  I could make bowls all day long

34. Happy.  Is not just a feeling, but also a way to describe clothing, music, food and flip-flops among other things.

35. Things must be “happy” in order for me to justify spending money

36. I don’t spend money easily

37. But that comes back to being indecisive

38. I weigh out all the options and play it back and forth in my head.  I see so many potentials.

39. But some decisions are easy….like how I would take all the kids from Hope House home with me if I could and how I would stay here in a second

40. Another thing I am not indecisive about is my preference for vanilla/white over chocolate.  Vanilla milkshakes, white chocolate, white cake. Yum.

41. Except I do love better than sex cake and I have a new found appreciation for brownies, but I still prefer vanilla.

42. I pretty much always carry the book I’m reading and my bible in my purse

43. I have 4 bookshelves in my room at my parents house and I still have more books than that

44. I dislike not having all my books in one spot

45. I so want a huge library in my house someday

46. Also, I so want a huge, white fluffy dog someday

47. And a godly husband who pursues God first, avidly protects purity and holiness, and really lives out 1 Corinthians 13

48. 1 Corinthians 13 in the amplified version gets my heart both giddy and weighted with how amazing love really is and that God truly loves us like that

49. I used to think that knowledge meant gathering all the information and being able to get that “A” on the test

50. I was a bit of a perfectionist when it came to school….

51. Nothing less than an “A” was acceptable

52. I realize now that for me I NEED to put things into action and practice to actually “know.”  I need the application step.

53. Which is hard for me since I love to gather information and often don’t take the next step.

54. I knew about Jesus and the list of things Christians do, but I didn’t “know” Him or recognize the connection between loving Him and obeying Him

55. When you trust Him, He brings such sweet freedom into your life

56. And He helps me stand on those promises that I am beloved, the Lord’s, complete, that there is no condemnation, that I am a new creation, that He delights in me, that I am born of God, I am God’s child, and that He fulfills ALL my needs, He is my all in all

57. I write all over my bible

58. I used to hate writing in books because it makes them look messy.

59. Now, I love adding that personal touch in certain books, not all.

60. I am a huge fan of words and the meanings of words and the root words connected to the word

61. Yet I don’t really like playing scrabble…maybe I’ll keep giving it a try

62. And you’ll find all sorts of references in my bible to Hebrew and Greek words and meanings

63. Even my blog is titled after a Hebrew word

64. B’ahava means “with love”

65. I want to do everything “with love”

66. And to show others that I believe in them and that I see their potential

67. Because Jesus loves and sees us that way

68. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a tattoo

69. But if I do and I might then I want a Hebrew word

70. Maybe even the word “Hephzibah”

71. Because then every time I looked at it, I would be reminded that I am enough in Him because He delights in me.

72. Writing makes my heart happy

73. Editing too.

74. Though, I am not a fan of the serial comma and I firmly think that commas are overused.  They make things look messy and cluttered.

75. I am a vegetarian.  Sounds funny, but I’ve been one since February.

76. I don’t miss meat.  I have never craved it either.

77. Baking fills my heart up and I love trying new recipes

78. But banana bread holds a special place in my heart

79. Whenever I go to the grocery store, I totally fall for the “new” or random things

80. My iTunes has 48.6 days of songs and I am SO that person that listens to a song on repeat for like 30 plays and yes, I keep track of my plays.

81. Except I’m in a process of eliminating songs that are not uplifting

82. I strive to make all of my words those that build up and speak life

83. I often fail

84. But Jesus is refining me

85. I used to not sing out loud because someone told me once I didn’t sing well

86. But I don’t really care anymore because I love singing to God

87. And I love singing Hakuna Matata with Lindo and giving him big hugs

88. And music moves me

89. Touches my heart and can instantly bring me into the presence of God

90. Which is why I need to get rid of the music that doesn’t do that

91. Along with that, I absolutely LOVE playing music loud with the windows down in the car

92. And dancing in my room or the bathroom or the shower or anywhere really

93. I confess I bring my computer into the bathroom to play music while I take a shower–I’m sure that’s not good for my computer, but that’s okay

94. In the end, I want my life to be about letting everyone know about God

95. And the abundant life that is found in Him

96. By living to glorify Him

97. Through following Him

98. Speaking words of life and

99. Coming alive

100. To do everything with love that overwhelms, empowers and transforms

New Creation

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

Baptism.  A public celebration, a declaration of faith in Christ, a new creation.

And I’m madly in love with You.

“I’m searching for a life that hasn’t been there before.  Speak life into the darkness. Speak life into my lungs.  Fill my soul as deep as the ocean.  Reaching for your love.  All that I can do is give it back to you. You take my old skin and made it new again.You have made me new.  A new creation. Bring out the colors my heart’s yet to see.  The night’s on fire for the warmth of your love. Speak life into the darkness.” -“New Creation”

“Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?  Therefore, we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:3-4

“I will betroth you to Me forever.” Hosea 2:19

“I am the Lord’s.”Isaiah 44:5

“Beloved.” Romans 9:25

“Belonging to the Lord.” Isaiah 44:5

“My delight is in her.”Isaiah 62:4

“So, let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.” Hosea 6:3

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by name: you are Mine… Do not call to mind the former things or ponder things of the past.  Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth…I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:1,18-19,25

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

“I am enough because He is enough.” -Alece

Monday is My New Favorite Day!

Playing balloons games and laughing so hard…

Lindo and his new “mom”

Kids at the school and Lindo

Highlight of the day: hearing “I love you!” and “Ke a o rata” (I love you in Sesotho) as well as hearing from his “sister”/cousin that he talked about us all week.  God is SO big and I am SO in love with this family and Lindo.