My 100 Things

In honor of my 500th post, I present to you “My 100 Things.”

1. I had my plans of “success,” money and a high-powered job. So I definitely would have thought you were joking if you told me I would be a Christian.

2. Let alone a Christian who loves missions

3. And left everything to come to Africa

4. Where I found my heart and my Jesus for real

5. Where I would be baptized (check out the new picture I updated on this post!)

6. To celebrate being a new creation and fully surrendering and trusting my everything to Jesus

7. After living in Africa for a year, I can “kind of” tolerate certain bugs

8. But not snakes or big spiders. I am not a fan.

9. Who knew I would love getting up early to watch the African sunrise from my window

10. Or that running in circles in fields to make extra distance would make my heart extra happy

11. Nature captures my heart

12. Everything from meteor showers to shooting stars to sunsets and sunrises to the moon to stars to waterfalls to snowflakes to rainy days to green grass to mountains connects to my heart and fills me up while reminding me of God

13. Flowers (though, NOT roses…I do not like getting roses) and gifts make my heart soar

14. As does picking people up from the airport and getting picked up

15. I love finding secret places outside and exploring

16. Sitting on a rock or on top of a mountain fills me up with awe

17. I loathe fake Christmas trees and love to cut down the real ones

18. And I love Christmas lights

19. Mittens not gloves—they’re useful for carrying things like keys

20. Barefoot not shoes

21. No socks. Ew…..I hardly ever wear socks, they’re so constraining and not happy

22. I used to always have short hair because I didn’t like it touching my neck when it was up in a pony tail while playing tennis

23. I love that my hair is extra long now.

24. I go in streaks of hairstyles…my current one is braids

25. My room is covered in quotes, bible verses, pictures, and happy things

26. I am a pack rat to the t.  Give me anything and I will keep it.

27. I also have a tendency to wear things out until I find that most of my shirts have holes…but I’m still wearing them…I have a hard time throwing things away, did I say that already?

28. Oddly, I hate wearing jeans.  They’re not comfortable. Give me dress pants, sweat pants, gauchos or anything else.

29. Skirts and dresses are especially nice

30. For clothes and life bright, happy colors and pastels are my favorites

31. I recently bought paints in “happy” pastel colors because I recently found out I love painting

32. I wish I was more crafty, but I try

33. Ceramics makes a nice balance.  I could make bowls all day long

34. Happy.  Is not just a feeling, but also a way to describe clothing, music, food and flip-flops among other things.

35. Things must be “happy” in order for me to justify spending money

36. I don’t spend money easily

37. But that comes back to being indecisive

38. I weigh out all the options and play it back and forth in my head.  I see so many potentials.

39. But some decisions are easy….like how I would take all the kids from Hope House home with me if I could and how I would stay here in a second

40. Another thing I am not indecisive about is my preference for vanilla/white over chocolate.  Vanilla milkshakes, white chocolate, white cake. Yum.

41. Except I do love better than sex cake and I have a new found appreciation for brownies, but I still prefer vanilla.

42. I pretty much always carry the book I’m reading and my bible in my purse

43. I have 4 bookshelves in my room at my parents house and I still have more books than that

44. I dislike not having all my books in one spot

45. I so want a huge library in my house someday

46. Also, I so want a huge, white fluffy dog someday

47. And a godly husband who pursues God first, avidly protects purity and holiness, and really lives out 1 Corinthians 13

48. 1 Corinthians 13 in the amplified version gets my heart both giddy and weighted with how amazing love really is and that God truly loves us like that

49. I used to think that knowledge meant gathering all the information and being able to get that “A” on the test

50. I was a bit of a perfectionist when it came to school….

51. Nothing less than an “A” was acceptable

52. I realize now that for me I NEED to put things into action and practice to actually “know.”  I need the application step.

53. Which is hard for me since I love to gather information and often don’t take the next step.

54. I knew about Jesus and the list of things Christians do, but I didn’t “know” Him or recognize the connection between loving Him and obeying Him

55. When you trust Him, He brings such sweet freedom into your life

56. And He helps me stand on those promises that I am beloved, the Lord’s, complete, that there is no condemnation, that I am a new creation, that He delights in me, that I am born of God, I am God’s child, and that He fulfills ALL my needs, He is my all in all

57. I write all over my bible

58. I used to hate writing in books because it makes them look messy.

59. Now, I love adding that personal touch in certain books, not all.

60. I am a huge fan of words and the meanings of words and the root words connected to the word

61. Yet I don’t really like playing scrabble…maybe I’ll keep giving it a try

62. And you’ll find all sorts of references in my bible to Hebrew and Greek words and meanings

63. Even my blog is titled after a Hebrew word

64. B’ahava means “with love”

65. I want to do everything “with love”

66. And to show others that I believe in them and that I see their potential

67. Because Jesus loves and sees us that way

68. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a tattoo

69. But if I do and I might then I want a Hebrew word

70. Maybe even the word “Hephzibah”

71. Because then every time I looked at it, I would be reminded that I am enough in Him because He delights in me.

72. Writing makes my heart happy

73. Editing too.

74. Though, I am not a fan of the serial comma and I firmly think that commas are overused.  They make things look messy and cluttered.

75. I am a vegetarian.  Sounds funny, but I’ve been one since February.

76. I don’t miss meat.  I have never craved it either.

77. Baking fills my heart up and I love trying new recipes

78. But banana bread holds a special place in my heart

79. Whenever I go to the grocery store, I totally fall for the “new” or random things

80. My iTunes has 48.6 days of songs and I am SO that person that listens to a song on repeat for like 30 plays and yes, I keep track of my plays.

81. Except I’m in a process of eliminating songs that are not uplifting

82. I strive to make all of my words those that build up and speak life

83. I often fail

84. But Jesus is refining me

85. I used to not sing out loud because someone told me once I didn’t sing well

86. But I don’t really care anymore because I love singing to God

87. And I love singing Hakuna Matata with Lindo and giving him big hugs

88. And music moves me

89. Touches my heart and can instantly bring me into the presence of God

90. Which is why I need to get rid of the music that doesn’t do that

91. Along with that, I absolutely LOVE playing music loud with the windows down in the car

92. And dancing in my room or the bathroom or the shower or anywhere really

93. I confess I bring my computer into the bathroom to play music while I take a shower–I’m sure that’s not good for my computer, but that’s okay

94. In the end, I want my life to be about letting everyone know about God

95. And the abundant life that is found in Him

96. By living to glorify Him

97. Through following Him

98. Speaking words of life and

99. Coming alive

100. To do everything with love that overwhelms, empowers and transforms

New Creation

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

Baptism.  A public celebration, a declaration of faith in Christ, a new creation.

And I’m madly in love with You.

“I’m searching for a life that hasn’t been there before.  Speak life into the darkness. Speak life into my lungs.  Fill my soul as deep as the ocean.  Reaching for your love.  All that I can do is give it back to you. You take my old skin and made it new again.You have made me new.  A new creation. Bring out the colors my heart’s yet to see.  The night’s on fire for the warmth of your love. Speak life into the darkness.” -“New Creation”

“Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?  Therefore, we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:3-4

“I will betroth you to Me forever.” Hosea 2:19

“I am the Lord’s.”Isaiah 44:5

“Beloved.” Romans 9:25

“Belonging to the Lord.” Isaiah 44:5

“My delight is in her.”Isaiah 62:4

“So, let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.” Hosea 6:3

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by name: you are Mine… Do not call to mind the former things or ponder things of the past.  Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth…I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:1,18-19,25

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

“I am enough because He is enough.” -Alece

Threads

I’m all over the board and feel like I have so many threads of a blog post coming together, yet not quite being enough to fully develop.  So, here are are some threads to follow:

• I read Acts 1 this morning and wondered about Joseph only to find that this post also touched on the subject.  I love and am standing on this:

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”  (Jeremiah 29:11, MSG)

So I take a deep breath.  Calm down.  Say a prayer of surrender…again.  And remember that I don’t want to be on someone else’s path regardless of how alluring or attractive it may appear.

Because y’all?  The Creator of the universe, He has plans for me.

And I don’t want to miss it.

• Nanowrimo reminds me why I love writing and why I love writing about things I’m passionate about…aka South Africa and the stories from here.  I’m pumped about this crazy story.
• When you find yourself in a hole, you usually either don’t know how to get out, don’t know you’re in the hole, don’t know how to keep yourself out of the hole….walking with people and helping them see how to stay out of those holes means being intentional, knowing them, spending time, asking tough questions, not letting “busyness” get in the way, and being passionate about walking in freedom.
• Hinds Feet on High Places is still rocking my world. More quotes and thoughts to come.
• God is HUGE.  I don’t want to put Him in any box.  I don’t want to put any of my time lines or worldly logic or anything else on Him.  He can do so much more than I can even imagine so why wouldn’t I pray BIG, why wouldn’t I expect BIG?
• Proverbs 4:25 “Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.  Watch the path (track, entrenchment=so firm that change is difficult or unlikely) of your feet and all your ways will be established.  Do not turn to the right nor to the left.  Turn your foot from evil.”  Fixing my eyes on Him and Him alone because He keeps reminding me that I can’t let others tell me who I am or define me or label me or let the plank in my eye take away from the promises I have in Christ.  I am complete in Christ.  I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.  Yes, beloved, dig deep, but hold fast to this and who I am first and foremost.
• Good-bye’s are already hard…my heart is here and I love these people.
• I’m overwhelmed by this. Yet, God is BIG.
• Tomorrow’s a BIG day.
• Bedtime. Hope you enjoyed some random threads of my life.

Endings Mean Beginnings

Check it out–my newsletter for the month!  I pray this newsletter will open your eyes to see what I see and to see how God is at work in South Africa thanks to your support and prayers.

October Newsletter

b’ahava (with love): הבהאב
To let everyone know of the abundant life in Christ by living to glorify God through
following Him, speaking words of life, and coming alive in order to do everything
with love that overwhelms, empowers, and transforms.

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.-John 10:10

Behold, I make all things new. -Revelation 21:5

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

I missed you too…

I am bursting at the seams with love and am completely overwhelmed with the love God has for me.  This weekend was a tough one.  One of battle after battle.  Not listening or entertaining the lies and distractions that desperately want me to believe that I’m not enough, that they won’t want me to come back, that I need to lose weight, that he’s gone, and that their actions say they don’t care, etc. Rather, holding fast to His words of truth and promises by reading His Word and prayer while laying things at the cross.

Yet, God turned the tide and came like a rushing stream last night and this morning.  My fellow interns prayed for me as I let the tears fall down my face.  I sat vulnerable, broken, and honest about the hard weekend.  Afterward, strengthened by prayer, God provided a source of life, of passion.  The timing worked out that I stayed up late editing a curriculum for the Leadership Summit classes.  I devoured every word and came alive.  I could barely sleep. When I woke up to see the sunrise, I found myself drawn to Isaiah where verse after verse captured my heart.

Isaiah 58:8-9 “Then your light will break out like the dawn and your recovery will speedily spring forth and your righteousness will go before you; the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry and He will say, ‘Here I am.’”

Isaiah 61: 10 For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness.

Isaiah 62: 4 But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”

As I write, tears flood my eyes and stream down my face because I am so broken by His love. So broken to feel the love of God.  That even through everything, He keeps saying, “And I’m madly in love with you” and to show you that I’m going to give you an amazing gift today:

My heart broke in July when I had to say good-bye.  I cried so many tears and prayed so many prayers for him.  Each Friday still made my heart happy, but not like when he was there to give me a hug. Today, I got that hug I’ve been wanting for months. He played with my hair, I met his new family, I held him in my arms, I said I love you over and over, we sang Hakuna Matata, and he jumped up on my shoulders.  All the things that I loved and missed.  Yet, he stole my heart all over again and brought tears to my eyes when I heard the sweet words:

“I missed you too”

Weighty

I stood at the doorway waiting to bring in the Jell-o for the game to see who could eat it the fastest through a straw.  My eyes watched the room from afar.  Looking at the wide range of emotions on the kids’ faces and seeing their reactions to counting stickers.  When I looked closer, I saw and felt hope.  These kids live at Hope House.  A House that can be filled with Hope.  An expectation of things to come, the potential for changed lives filled the room.

Suddenly, my attention turned to a cry from outside the room with commotion.  I turned to see what happened.  Katleho (above) sat on the floor crying.  I asked what had happened to find out that he had fallen forward with his head hitting the floor first.  A bump already popped out and a previous scar from another fall stood out.  My heart reached out with my hands as I tried to hold his hand.  The caretaker tried to drag him to his feet by grabbing his hand, but I went behind asking if I could carry him into the kitchen.  I picked him up, not noticing the wetness, and sat with him on the floor.  I asked the caretakers about Katleho’s seizures and if he was taking his medicine along with if he was up for adoption.

Desperately, I wanted to take him home with me along with all the other kids.  I wanted to hold them in my arms and give them the one-on-one attention they crave.  Yet, more than that, I wanted to show them that I believe in them.  I believe they can.  I don’t want to say, “I can do this for you.” I want to empower them and overwhelm them with love. To feel the weight of the glory of God and the weight of His love for them.

1 Corinthians 13:7 “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything”

Hat!

My fellow intern, Tara, made this sweet hat for me!!  I love the flower on the side

Nothing Missing, Nothing Broken

He calls us to be salty.

To let the world see the difference.

He calls us to repentance.

To stand on the promise that we are chosen by God, holy and dearly loved.

He calls us to love and walk as a new creation in Christ.

To experience the Hands of the Healer.

He says “Follow Me.” Immediately.

To show us that he doesn’t run away from our needs, even needs wrongly met, because they reveal something about us that He wants to transform, to redeem, to deepen our roots through relationship with Him.

He looks at the Samaritan woman with love and maybe we should say: “Look at what potential she has for God.  See how hard she’s trying to find the right thing in all the wrong places.”

To ask us if we looking at messy, real lives and saying “that’s wrong” or if we are penetrating the walls and masks to seek why they are in such trouble in order to love them where they are?

He reminds us that our message is not that we have it all together.  Our message is that we know the one who does!

To let us rest in shalom שָׁלוֹם: nothing missing. nothing broken. life as it was meant to be.

Meetings

Meetings.  Some people absolutely loathe going to another meeting.  I tend to actually look forward to them.  I see the opportunity they give for the larger group to get together, recapture vision, share passion and information, and live life together in a “work” setting.  I find this to be especially true of our Staff Meetings at Thrive.  I love that we start off with sharing testimonies of how “God is Big” and what He is doing in each of our lives.  I am so blessed and encouraged through hearing these.  We also spend time on “development.”  We value continuing to learn more, being transformed by Christ, and “developing” ourselves in Him.  Today’s message hit home and I even had a chance tonight to live out my own reactions to confrontation and to my commitment to continue to change and experience life in Christ.  Here are some bullet point thoughts to chew on from the message “Keys to Confrontation” by Danny Silk:

• We need to strategically apply pressure to expose areas that need strength and grace
• Confrontation is an invitation to strengthen a relational bond with someone (so true! through confrontation tonight, I’m excited to further develop relationships)
• Confrontation is not about punishment, but about setting each other up to win and to put us back on the track that we left
• Relationships are where we manifest everything we get from heaven
• Confrontation is about helping people find the need and find the remedy to the need–when you’ve fallen in a hole, you need something–you lost control of you to the thing that put you in the hole!
• Questions to ask: What are you going to do? How’s that working out for you? Do you want help with this problem? I am wondering if…?  …didn’t it?
• Godly sorrow leads to repentance
• Find out what the problem actually has to do with
• Live a life that no matter what external pressure comes, you get to be YOU.

Pray!

Meet Gugu

Meet Nomfundo

I hold these two girls in my heart and in my arms.  They make my heart happy and I love getting to see them on Fridays at Hope House.  But, there’s a slight problem…they don’t like each other.  They’re in that lovely later elementary school girl age where they fight and seek attention.  Not to mention that Nomfundo recently came to Hope House a few weeks ago so she is still adjusting to the new environment.  My prayer is that the love of Christ would completely overwhelm them and transform their lives, which in turn dramatically changes their relationship.

Anything I can be praying for you about on this Friday night?