Post-It Anywhere and Everywhere

I’m a learner. I try to soak up as much information as possible. But, here’s the kicker. I often let that information stay in my head rather than soaking it up in my heart to produce transformation.Thus, intentionality, repetition, and the Holy Spirit are my friends.  Instead of storing away the information in “hopes” of doing something with it later, I turn to them.

I intentionally make time to dig deeper, ask how to practically put this into practice, make a plan to put it into practice, and to ask the Holy Spirit what else.

Then I become Ms. post-it anywhere and everywhere. Reminders are key.  By my bed you’ll see my goals, ways to seek intimacy with God, ways to be guarded and a “what-if” plan, and the scripture I’m memorizing for the week.  My bathroom mirror holds promises to stand on and by my door there is the South African flag and the poster of Hope House kids.  My phone has pictures of Lindo.  I need to see, read, meditate, memorize, and be reminded in order to let these truths penetrate my heart and make that journey.

Finally, I make sure that I’m looking to Him and not getting distracted or relying on my own “plans” or practical steps.  I desire to live a life that is sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading in ALL areas including what I’m learning and how I live out what I’m learning.  I want to be a doer of what I learn and hear.

In conclusion: “So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.”

5 Things I Love

1.Yeah, yeah, I’m sure if you’ve been reading a while and saw the title then you just knew that this little guy would be on this list.  I love Lindo especially his amazing hugs and asking to be on my shoulders.

2. Bare feet!  I greatly dislike socks and even shoes. Going barefoot is the best and if not that then at least flip flops.  I must say that being back in the snow…I’ve gotten multiple comments about how I need to wear shoes…boo.

3. Wearing sunglasses on my head.  They make me feel summery and happy.  Oh and I love this girly too! She makes my heart happy!  Though, I’m not so keen on her living miles and miles away now instead of down my stairs…

4 and well 5 too there’s a lot of love in this. This picture shows so many random things I love: Wearing my hair in braids. The hat Tara made for me because I love her! and the hat.  The other hat that I got in SA hanging on the door. Being able to hang things on my door like sweatshirts and purses is so handy. Painted wooden chairs.  All the bright happy colors.  The South African flag in the background because I love SA and the people and God’s calling on my life. Also, below the flag now is a poster of the Hope House kids and I love them. My Lerato shirt from June because I love June, Lerato (love in Sesotho) is my name and that it supports Thrive.

ht: 5 things I love

9000 miles

I’ve read before that home will always be the place for which you feel the deepest affection for, no matter where you are.  I’m feeling this so much right now.  I may be in the town I grew up and the place that much of my family lives.  But, home seems so far away.  9000 miles feels so far, but hearing Lindo’s voice this morning makes everything seem a little closer.  I never knew I could love/hurt so much by being away from ‘home.’  When I look at the picture of Lindo and I above, I see home.  I love what it portrays: love, happiness, joy, fullness, fun, patience, gentleness, and most of all feeling at home.  I say it over and over, but here I’ll say it again and again: God is BIG.  He answers my prayers. He listens to me. He holds my heart when it’s breaking. He wipes my tears for the millionth time.  He gives me passion. He fills me up with His love.  He gives me perfect gifts.  He gives me more than I could ever ask for or imagine. Above all, He loves me.

I will rejoice in the day that the Lord has made.  I rejoice that even when I’m feeling far away from home, He gave me a piece of home by letting me hear the voice a little boy who is 9000 miles away.

Thankful

Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of JOY comes in the morning.”

He is all my hope and stay. but this war brings me to my knees.  But where my shepherd leads, where else can I go. Who else fills my cup ’til it overflows.  To the solid rock I fly, though he bids me come and die there’s only ONE.” -There’s Only One (Holy One)

“God’s glory is of the utmost importance to Him and He is willing to withhold things I want if He sees a greater glory for Him and a better good for me coming in a different way.

Why isn’t God answering me…now that’s the wrong question to be asking!  Ask instead how is God answering me.  Seek out and ask God to show you the tons of ways that God is showing up.”

I am thankful for the ways God shows up and how God is BIG

1. 1. Exposing the darkness with truth in love
   2. Freeing me from my chains and giving me a song to visualize it
   3. Showing me abundant life in Christ
   4. Bringing Lindo back into my life and holding him while I’m gone while giving me peace saying see you in His timing to him
   5. Creating relationships to be vibrant and life-giving–to do life together to the point where i can walk down my stairs crying and just sit for a little while
   6. Bringing me to my knees
   7. Stripping me bare and leaving me raw even when I think there’s nothing left to give Him
   8. Holding me when I’m laying on the floor crying
   9. Telling me: “My delight is in YOU”
   10. Speaking through songs: Madly, How He Loves, Hands of the Healer, Desert Song, Rescue, God of this City, Sweet Forgiveness, Take, There’s Only One and so many more
   11. Having a home to go home to
   12. Breaking my heart for what breaks His
   13. Showering me with love, vision, and passion
   14. Letting me see the bare feet and love them.
   15. Fighting the battle for me
   16. The old is GONE.
   17. I am His beloved.
   18. More than all of these amazing ways that He has showed up in so many BIG ways…I am thankful most of all that I am His and I am enough because He is enough.  I am thankful for all that He has done for me.  I am thankful that my eyes have been opened to the fact that down in the depths of my heart I have one desperately passionate desire…to follow Him forever because nothing else really matters except to love Him and do what He asks.

ht: SheSeeks

Leaving him in His hands

I absolutely loved Monday.  I soaked up every moment.  We painted each others’ faces.  We ran around and played with foam swords.  Tossed a soccer ball around and even kicked it around.  We tried to play a DVD of the tons of pictures I had of him.  Opened gifts.  He played with my hair.  He asked/demanded: on your shoulders.  I simply let life happen without focusing on the “see you in His timing.”  I said I love you and Ke a o rata and I’ll miss you enough without letting it get in the way.  I tried to tell him that I wouldn’t be coming back next week, but he still said good-bye with a see you next week.  I drove away so filled with my cup overflowing.  I left him in His hands because He holds Him much better than I ever could.  I am so incredibly thankful that God brought Lindo back into my life this time and am so excited to see him again in His timing.  God showered me with His peace and held me close as I drove away missing him already, but holding him in my heart as always.

 

Pray!

“I have you in my heart.” Philippians 1:7

Forgive the lack of blogging…I kept going to blog, but then getting distracted or falling asleep.  Oops!  Here’s a quick recap of the week: last staff meeting of the year, talking with some lovely ladies, binding and more binding (woot! leadership summit books to impact lots of kiddos!), saying good-bye at adopt-a-family, last town time aka shopping for gifts for that kid up there, last church complete with “Madly,” birthday parties for Joyce (Basotho staff–we went to her house!) and Jen (ninja themed), making a dvd for that kid up there, saying good-bye to the hope house kids….that was rough, and going to church with that kid up there!

Starting off this week, I need some prayer!  Today, I say “see you in His timing” to Lindo…..I miss him already, but am trusting God big time knowing that He has Lindo in his heart too.  So if you get a chance to pray for him, his family, and me today, thank-you.  Anything I can be praying for you about?

Bam!

If you know me even a little, then you probably know that I tend to think….think a lot.  Sometimes to the point where it gets in the way and puts up walls (not a good thing) and stops things from going from my head to my heart.  The last few days I got all caught up in the thinking.  The heady, here’s what experience tells me.  I “know” the truth, but I couldn’t shake the all over the board emotions ranging from confused to frustrated to happy to disappointed to sad to lonely to okay to everything else.  I bounced around and couldn’t find my footing on the solid rock.

Until today. I sat in class and I tried to pay attention and engage in conversation, but every once in a while my thoughts would overwhelm me still.  Until I heard these words, “Follow Me.”  Funny thing is that we were talking about ministering to youth and I really don’t remember how that fit in and neither does my roomie (I asked her later).  So then, God immediately brought to mind the verse below:

“…what is that to you?  You follow Me!”

My reaction: Whoa. Lord, you are so here.  You are so getting my attention.  Because really.  What is it to me that ___ is doing this or that God is working in that way in their lives.  Even, who is that to me and what is that to you that I’m working in a way you didn’t expect.  When all I need to focus on is following Him then everything else fades away.  Africa fades away. Lindo fades away. Thrive fades away. Hope House kids fade away. Marriage fades away.

Yes, good things and yes, serving is good, but He just wants me to “be.”  He loves me when I’m just sitting on the floor with Him leaning against my bed.  He wants me to follow Him and be with Him.  He wants to step out only on His firm foundation.

“It had opened her eyes to the fact that right down in the depths of her own heart she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised but for himself.  All she wanted was to be allowed to follow him forever. “Nothing else really matters only to love him and to do what he tells me.” -Hinds Feet in High Places

Monday Musings

• excited to listen to this podcast when it comes out and love some of the thoughts Perry posted already:
  • Love for her intimacy with God…and not just the information she knows about Him!
  • When you focus on what you do not have (a relationship) more than you focus on Jesus and His Word…the result is usually compromise.
  • AND…YOU DO NOT HAVE TO COMPROMISE…EVER!!!  If I could sit down face to face with every single girl I would say the same thing…WAIT for God’s best…it’s worth it.
• had my first “see you in His timing”
  • my heart is already aching at the thought of saying more of those soon…
• hung out with Lindo today….man, that kid is too much fun and I love his family
  • definitely made me smile today
  • working on making a video of the tons of pictures I have of him
  • can’t wait for next week so i can give him a soccer ball and whatever else random I find in town for him…so what does a 5 year old like?

  

• “no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.” ht: note
  • The weapon of jealousy will NOT prosper against you because we will CELEBRATE what God is doing
  • The weapon of feeling insignificant will NOT prosper against you because HE MADE YOU SIGNIFICANT when He saved you and called you…your significance comes from your salvation…not from “success” in ministry.
• can’t wait to see this girl.
• asking God to hold me tight tonight and help me fight
  • feeling a bit broken tonight.
  • getting away with Him.
• listening to this guy thanks to his free music. 
  • speaking of music. integrity music and their free song on friday makes me happy

Just to Be With You

More often than not, whether at the park or at Hope House or anywhere with kids, I find myself with a new hair style.  Sometimes cute.  Sometimes full of knots.  Sometimes I leave just a little bit messier. Simply put, I love it.  I’ll take messy hair any day as long as it means I get to spend time with these kids and hear their stories and sometimes even just be with them without saying much.  Just being there to show them I’m here to hang out with them and I care while letting the hair break down the barriers and open up doors to relationships and conversation.

My 100 Things

1. I had my plans of “success,” money and a high-powered job. So I definitely would have thought you were joking if you told me I would be a Christian.

2. Let alone a Christian who loves missions

3. And left everything to come to Africa

4. Where I found my heart and my Jesus for real

5. Where I would be baptized (check out the new picture I updated on this post!)

6. To celebrate being a new creation and fully surrendering and trusting my everything to Jesus

7. After living in Africa for a year, I can “kind of” tolerate certain bugs

8. But not snakes or big spiders. I am not a fan.

9. Who knew I would love getting up early to watch the African sunrise from my window

10. Or that running in circles in fields to make extra distance would make my heart extra happy

11. Nature captures my heart

12. Everything from meteor showers to shooting stars to sunsets and sunrises to the moon to stars to waterfalls to snowflakes to rainy days to green grass to mountains connects to my heart and fills me up while reminding me of God

13. Flowers (though, NOT roses…I do not like getting roses) and gifts make my heart soar

14. As does picking people up from the airport and getting picked up

15. I love finding secret places outside and exploring

16. Sitting on a rock or on top of a mountain fills me up with awe

17. I loathe fake Christmas trees and love to cut down the real ones

18. And I love Christmas lights

19. Mittens not gloves—they’re useful for carrying things like keys

20. Barefoot not shoes

21. No socks. Ew…..I hardly ever wear socks, they’re so constraining and not happy

22. I used to always have short hair because I didn’t like it touching my neck when it was up in a pony tail while playing tennis

23. I love that my hair is extra long now.

24. I go in streaks of hairstyles…my current one is braids

25. My room is covered in quotes, bible verses, pictures, and happy things

26. I am a pack rat to the t.  Give me anything and I will keep it.

27. I also have a tendency to wear things out until I find that most of my shirts have holes…but I’m still wearing them…I have a hard time throwing things away, did I say that already?

28. Oddly, I hate wearing jeans.  They’re not comfortable. Give me dress pants, sweat pants, gauchos or anything else.

29. Skirts and dresses are especially nice

30. For clothes and life bright, happy colors and pastels are my favorites

31. I recently bought paints in “happy” pastel colors because I recently found out I love painting

32. I wish I was more crafty, but I try

33. Ceramics makes a nice balance.  I could make bowls all day long

34. Happy.  Is not just a feeling, but also a way to describe clothing, music, food and flip-flops among other things.

35. Things must be “happy” in order for me to justify spending money

36. I don’t spend money easily

37. But that comes back to being indecisive

38. I weigh out all the options and play it back and forth in my head.  I see so many potentials.

39. But some decisions are easy….like how I would take all the kids from Hope House home with me if I could and how I would stay here in a second

40. Another thing I am not indecisive about is my preference for vanilla/white over chocolate.  Vanilla milkshakes, white chocolate, white cake. Yum.

41. Except I do love better than sex cake and I have a new found appreciation for brownies, but I still prefer vanilla.

42. I pretty much always carry the book I’m reading and my bible in my purse

43. I have 4 bookshelves in my room at my parents house and I still have more books than that

44. I dislike not having all my books in one spot

45. I so want a huge library in my house someday

46. Also, I so want a huge, white fluffy dog someday

47. And a godly husband who pursues God first, avidly protects purity and holiness, and really lives out 1 Corinthians 13

48. 1 Corinthians 13 in the amplified version gets my heart both giddy and weighted with how amazing love really is and that God truly loves us like that

49. I used to think that knowledge meant gathering all the information and being able to get that “A” on the test

50. I was a bit of a perfectionist when it came to school….

51. Nothing less than an “A” was acceptable

52. I realize now that for me I NEED to put things into action and practice to actually “know.”  I need the application step.

53. Which is hard for me since I love to gather information and often don’t take the next step.

54. I knew about Jesus and the list of things Christians do, but I didn’t “know” Him or recognize the connection between loving Him and obeying Him

55. When you trust Him, He brings such sweet freedom into your life

56. And He helps me stand on those promises that I am beloved, the Lord’s, complete, that there is no condemnation, that I am a new creation, that He delights in me, that I am born of God, I am God’s child, and that He fulfills ALL my needs, He is my all in all

57. I write all over my bible

58. I used to hate writing in books because it makes them look messy.

59. Now, I love adding that personal touch in certain books, not all.

60. I am a huge fan of words and the meanings of words and the root words connected to the word

61. Yet I don’t really like playing scrabble…maybe I’ll keep giving it a try

62. And you’ll find all sorts of references in my bible to Hebrew and Greek words and meanings

63. Even my blog is titled after a Hebrew word

64. B’ahava means “with love”

65. I want to do everything “with love”

66. And to show others that I believe in them and that I see their potential

67. Because Jesus loves and sees us that way

68. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a tattoo

69. But if I do and I might then I want a Hebrew word

70. Maybe even the word “Hephzibah”

71. Because then every time I looked at it, I would be reminded that I am enough in Him because He delights in me.

72. Writing makes my heart happy

73. Editing too.

74. Though, I am not a fan of the serial comma and I firmly think that commas are overused.  They make things look messy and cluttered.

75. I am a vegetarian.  Sounds funny, but I’ve been one since February.

76. I don’t miss meat.  I have never craved it either.

77. Baking fills my heart up and I love trying new recipes

78. But banana bread holds a special place in my heart

79. Whenever I go to the grocery store, I totally fall for the “new” or random things

80. My iTunes has 48.6 days of songs and I am SO that person that listens to a song on repeat for like 30 plays and yes, I keep track of my plays.

81. Except I’m in a process of eliminating songs that are not uplifting

82. I strive to make all of my words those that build up and speak life

83. I often fail

84. But Jesus is refining me

85. I used to not sing out loud because someone told me once I didn’t sing well

86. But I don’t really care anymore because I love singing to God

87. And I love singing Hakuna Matata with Lindo and giving him big hugs

88. And music moves me

89. Touches my heart and can instantly bring me into the presence of God

90. Which is why I need to get rid of the music that doesn’t do that

91. Along with that, I absolutely LOVE playing music loud with the windows down in the car

92. And dancing in my room or the bathroom or the shower or anywhere really

93. I confess I bring my computer into the bathroom to play music while I take a shower–I’m sure that’s not good for my computer, but that’s okay

94. In the end, I want my life to be about letting everyone know about God

95. And the abundant life that is found in Him

96. By living to glorify Him

97. Through following Him

98. Speaking words of life and

99. Coming alive

100. To do everything with love that overwhelms, empowers and transforms